DC and Marvel: Secret Crisis

Chapter XII: Spider-Verse Part II

"What!? Why?" asked Tony. "To test this weird version of Earth where everything is perfect? Sounds like a bad case of OCD if you ask me. Or maybe hoarding."

"Tony, you're not a psychiatrist," said Bruce.

"And neither are you a detective," said Tony.

"Peter," said Diana.

"Yes?" asked all three.

"How have you come to know each other?" asked Diana.

"We met during an adventure... Apparently, each Universe in the Y-Axis Multiverse has a Spider-Man. We formed a group called the 'Spider-Verse.' We fought multiple bad guys from multiple realities. Doc Ock, Mysterio, Vulture, Venom, Green Goblin-..."

"I've never even heard of some of those guys," said Peter. "Are there others?"

"Peni Parker. Takuya Yamashiro. Peter Parker Noir. Peter Porker. Gwen Stacy-..." said Classic Peter.

"Gwen's one of us?" asked Peter.

"Yep..." said Amazing Peter, as he bottomed up some wine.

"So... What do you suggest we do?" asked Frank.

"There's a saying that a group of heroes is destined to either defeat or be defeated by Stefan," said Classic Peter.

"That's us, right?" asked Frank.

"Those of you who will survive will join that group," said Classic Peter.

"Wait... back up... Those who will survive!?" asked Deadpool.

"We have no power against him, Wade," said Amazing Peter. "We've lost so many people... Aunt Mays and loved ones... taken away from us by the cruel universe..."

"We're gonna lose more," said Classic Peter.

"What? Why the hell do we have anything to do with this? Our job is to bring back our own worlds," said Frank.

"And you can't have that until you beat Stefan," said Classic Peter. "You're going to have to hunt down Stefan, find him, and join the others to beat him."

"Where did you hear this weird prophecy of yours?" asked Thor. "It sounds like a Shamosian scam to me..."

"From a guy who called us over... Calls himself Prometheus," said Amazing Peter. "He told us that there is a destiny... an end to this... where not everybody survives."

"That's not fair," said Tony. "Because if I die, then nothing that I've done matters. If they die, nothing that anyone had done matters. Are you saying that we have some sort of weird My Little Pony magical destiny where we have to do a suicide mission against this guy? And they say that there's a chance for us to kick the bucket?"

"I didn't sign up for this," said Billy.

"No one did," said Amazing Peter. "But we're going to die if we don't do anything at all. Permanently."

"Are you saying that people can come back from the dead?" asked Tony.

Peter's eyes widen.

"There are rules. If you're killed by the Infinity Stone's Gamma Radiation, you can't," said Classic Peter.

"If you are killed in the past, you can't come back. Unless with the Dragon Balls, but if bringing them back would greatly change the timeline... You can't come back," said Amazing Peter.

"If you exchange your fate with the Ark of the Covenant or other holy artifact, you can't," said Classic Peter

"If you're canceled by an omnipotent force called Twitter, you can't," said Harley.

"No, Harley..." said Bruce.

"If you're canceled by some 56-year-old Vegan teacher from an online platform, you can't," said Harley.

"Harley-..." said Star-Lord.

"If you're canceled for saying the N-Word, you can't," said Harley.

"Harley, will you please stop?" asked Bruce. 

"Wade, control your woman," said Damian.

"Damian, no sexism on the table," said Bruce.

"Dumb kid," said Carol.

"YOU WANT A BLADE IN YOUR EYE, LADY!?" asked Damian, slamming the table.

"Damian, that's offensive," said Diana.

"Yes, mother," said Damian, bowing his head.

"Why the hell do you never listen to me?" asked Bruce.

"Because you're basically a broken record," said Deadpool. "Boom. Roasted."

Deadpool high-fives Tony.

Clark adds more butter to his cherry pie.

"Kal-El," said Thor. "You have to lay off the butter, old friend. Trust me... You'll have a hard time with a larger belly."

"I haven't churned one for years. Lay off me," said Clark, now being a few inches wider.

"Kal-El, no," said Thor.

"It's called stress-eating. Everyone I know and love is dead. Give me a break!" yelled Clark,

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" yelled Bruce. "Parkers. Continue."

Peter opens his mouth.

"Not you, Peter," said Bruce.

"Finally..." said Classic Spider-Man. "If you're killed outside the Omniverse, you can't. Like the Vanishing Point or the Edge of Everything."

"So... we can die?" asked Bruce. "Permanently?"

"And I can't come back," said Tony.

Peter's eyes quivered for a second.

"I'm not comfortable with dying in such a foolish way," said Thor. "But... if it's to save the world... So be it!" Thor brought out his hammer and stood up.

Everyone stood up and followed after.

"I'm in," said Diana.

"Me, too," said Tony, eating another piece.

"Mhm..." said Clark, gorging on just butter.

"Let's go! I've been wanting to save more than two Earths than one since forever!" smiled Harley.

"Anything for you, babe," said Deadpool.

"My family would be proud," Frank nodded.

"Let's do this," said Matthew.

"I'll do anything to bring my family back," said Barry, shaking his head.

"If my mother's going, I'm going," said Damian.

"So am I!" giggled Cassandra.

"Bitch... I'm in," said Quill.

"Okay," said Carol.

"I'm going," said Bruce.

"Count me in, guys," smiled Peter.

Everyone turns to Billy.

"Fine..." sighed Billy. "Why... Why are we all standing up?"

Everyone is all standing up. They all stayed silent.

"So... How'd you Uncle Ben die?" asked Amazing Peter.