Walk With Me

47. Pieces of the Past

They even gave me a lucky star. What's my goal this year? I have a lot, but only one stood out the most: To keep going after what I want.

It's hard to find your voice after you've gone without it for so long. All I want now is to keep using it.

"Do you guys do this every New Year?" I ask Sadie as I sprinkle some blue glitter along the edges. Yes, it's blue, Tommy freaking blue to be exact. What can I say? I have a fetish.

"Uh, no. We actually just started it a couple years back. The girls seem to love it, and well, it just kind of stuck," she shrugs, drawing a few doodles along the outside of hers.

"I might just have to steal it to use with my daughter," I smile now, thinking about how much Mia would love this.

"You have a daughter?" Gemma, the oldest, asks.

"I do," I nod, that smile still stretching across my face. I miss Mia. I haven't been away from her for longer than a one night sleepover. Though I have been pleasantly distracted the last couple of days, I can't wait to hold her in my arms again, to read her a story, or just to chase her around the yard.

"How old is she?" Gemma follows up with.

"Actually, she just turned five."

"I'm five," June perks up.

"I know," I direct my smile at her now.

"Where is she?" June asks.

"Amber lives in California, just like your uncle Tommy," Sadie jumps in.

"Oh," she looks down at her star before adding even more glitter. The shining masterpiece keeping a smile on my face. "Are you married to my uncle?"

"June!" Gemma blurts out.

June's eyes draw together as she looks over at her sister. "What?" she innocently asks.

"I think we would know if he got married," Gemma confidently replies.

"Oh." June's eyes fall back on her star. She grabs more glitter though I have no idea where she actually plans to put it. I don't think there is any open paper left. "Are you his girlfriend?" she follows up.

"Uh," I hesitate for a moment, looking to Sadie for some slight chance that she might bail me out, but she looks just as interested as the girls. "Yeah...I guess you could say that."

Both June and Gemma look at one another giggling at my admission. Sadie has a smile on her face too. I guess I should be thankful for all of the smiles. Could be worse, even though there is a bright shade of red filling my cheeks at the moment.

"Alright girls," Sadie announces. "I think these stars are ready to be hung. Go get your father and ask him to put them up."

"Alright, Mom," Gemma says, taking both of her sisters' hands and leading them out of the room.

Sadie grabs the paint, closing all of the tops before placing them back in the art box. I begin to wipe the table, using a wet sponge to pick up the fallen glitter. I'm pretty sure I need a sponge too. That's the thing about using glitter, somehow there's no escaping the whole stripper look afterwards.

"I'm sorry for the twenty questions," Sadie says, looking up at me.

I smile, shrugging my shoulders. "It's okay. I teach preschool. I'm pretty sure I'm immune to it."

"I didn't know you teach," her hands stop cleaning as she pauses to watch me now.

"Yeah. Well, that and I'm a waitress. It's not easy paying the bills on one income," I play it off casually as I continue to gather the rest of the materials.