Keep Holding On (A Ronnie Radke and Ryan Seaman fanfiction)

The News

Ryan's POV

"I'm sorry Mr. Seaman, but your mother passed away 6 hours ago. We are very sorry for your loss." The lady at the front desk says to me. I look back at the guys, who all had sorrowful faces on. Except for Ronnie, he wasn't here. He was with Carma, his girlfriend. My eyes start to water.

"Thank you." I choke out, walking back to the guys.

"Ryan, we are so sorry dude." Derek says, pulling me in for a hug. 

"Yea. It must be horrible to lose your mum." Jacky says, hugging me also. 

"You wanna get some ice cream?" Derek asks.

"Thanks, but I would rather just go back home." I said, and we drove home. 

We opened the door, to loud sex noises. 

"Oh joy! Just what I want after my mom dying. Ronnie and Carma fucking each other senseless!" I say, walking outside. 

I make sure Derek and Jacky don't follow before I pull out my pack of cigarettes. I breathe in the smoke, and I hate myself. Why am I such an idiot? Ronnie will never love me, why keep trying? 

I put out my cigarette and walk back inside the house to see Carma walking out. 

"Hey Ryan." She says, grabbing her purse. 

"Hi Carma." I say, putting a fake smile on.

After she leaves, Ronnie walks out.

"Hey Ryan. Did you get to see your mom" He asks. I start to cry.

"Ryan. What's wrong?" Ronnie asks, as i fall to my knees.

"She's dead. She died before I could say goodbye." I say, crying very hard. 

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. I wish I could've been there for you." He said, and that's what set me off

"Oh really? And what were you doing while I was at the hospital?" I say, standing up.

"I was, um-" He started.

"You were too busy having sex to comfort your friend." I said, starting to feel a sense of neglect.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry." He repeats.

"Don't waste your breath. You arnt sorry. You never think about anyone but yourself." I say, starting at the door. 

"Where the hell are you going?" He asks

"Anywhere but here." I spit back, as I unlock my car.

I drove to the bar and sat down.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks.

"Your drink with the highest alcohal content please." I say, she hands me a drink and I down it in 10 seconds.

"Another. And keep it coming." 

Ronnie's POV

"Where's Ryan?" Jacky asks, as he walks downstairs from his nap.

"I don't know. We had a fight and he ran out." I said, putting my head in my hands. 

"Goddammit Ronnie. We need to find him." Derek says, grabbing his keys.

We searched around for hours, until I checked the bar. 

"Ryan?" I asked, seeing him at the bar.

"Get the hell away from me!" He says, starting to stand up, but failing and falling on the ground.

"Come on buddy." I said, picking him up and carrying him to the car.

"I got him guys, I'll take him to bed." I said to Jacky and Derek

"Goodnight Ryan. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I should've been there for you. I love you Ryan. If only you loved me." I said, kissing his forehead.