love, or the lack thereof (p. davidson)

twenty five

"You know I really thought this would be a lot tougher for you Shae, but you're taking it like a fucking champ."

I laugh at Megan's comment and shake my head as I hold my seven uno cards in one of my hands.

"Taking what? Moving? Also, change the color to blue." Smirking I set a wild card down on the pile of colorful cards.

"Damn't..." Megan mutters under her breath as she starts taking a new card from the deck until finding a blue one.

"I mean yeah I mean't moving but you're handling leaving Pete's place better then I thought. Like it seemed like you two had gotten pretty close."

I stare up at her as my cards are fanned out in front of my face.

"Yeah well I was ready to come back home." I say to her simply, before placing a card down.

"You sure?" Megan questions me

"What do you mean?" I ask cocking my head to the side

"I don't know you haven't really talked or hung out with him since moving back here. It just seems like there's something your not telling me."

How could she read me so fucking well? It was really starting to piss me off.

"I don't know Meg maybe I just needed some time to hangout with you and Claire before the whole group gets back together."

Megan sets her hand of cards down on the table and looks up at me with a serious look. Feeling intimidated, I set my cards down as well.

"You know I've seen your phone Shae. He keeps texting you and you just keep ignoring it." She says starting to sound frustrated

I stay silent not sure how to respond. A part of me wanted to tell her the truth but it also could be because she was scaring the hell out of me at the moment.

"All I'm saying is that if there is some possibility that there's some feelings for him your not sharing, don't just ignore the poor boy. He clearly cares for you."

I sigh knowing she was completely right.

"I just don't know what to do... I haven't had feelings for someone like this ever in my entire fucking life. I don't know how to let my guard down and trust him completely." I give up trying to hide my feelings no longer. I was to annoyed and exhausted to keep lying.

"There it is." Megan says with a sly smirk

"Huh?"

"It was clear that there was something between you two, I could sense it the last time I went over to Pete's house."

"Yeah?" I say, a small smile forming on my lips.

"Yes Shae. And even though you say you don't know if you can fully trust him, I think your mind is fucking with you. You fucking lived with him for months and your here telling me you don't know if you can trust him."

"Damn, stop being right about everything it's fucking annoying." I say chuckling

"Don't let him slip away. He clearly means to much to you to lose him so easily. Besides, even if nothing happens between you two, you will always be really good friends. And I know you don't want that to disappear."

I smile at her saying nothing and look down at my cards.

"You wanna be done? We've been playing for fucking hours and niether of us has been even close to winning." I say looking but at the smiling brunette.

"Sure, I should probably leave anyway."

"You and Colson plan a date?" I ask raising my eyebrows as I help gather all of the cards and sliding them into the black and red box where they belong.

"I mean if you called tagging along with your boyfriend to a dinner with a label who's interested in signing the band, then yes."

"Holy shit, Colson's band is getting signed?" I ask standing up from my chair and putting away the card game.

"Maybe, they've been interested in the band for awhile now so hopefully something good comes out of tonight." She says with a tired smile.

"Well text me if he gets good news." I say as I walk with her to the front door.

"Promise." She says before hugging me

"Don't let him go Shae." She whispers in my ear before pulling away and opening the front door stepping out onto the front porch.

"Bye Meg." I wave as she walks off to her car which was parked in the driveway.

She doesn't turn around and simply waves back to me as she continues walking.

-

I sigh heavily as I scroll through the countless unread text messages from Pete. Not to mention the large number of notifications of him trying to call me.

A part of me feels bad. For myself but mostly for him. I couldn't help but imagine what he was feeling. But then again for all I know he could just be trying to check in on me because he feels like he has to. That being the worst scenario.

Maybe Megan was right. But maybe she wasn't. I was to scared to find out the answer. I figured my best option was to ignore Pete until he eventually grew tired of trying to reach out to me. Then the time we spent together would become a distant; faint memory.

I sighed heavily thinking about him. His smile, his laughter, the way he would immediately light up when I entered the room.

My thoughts had begun to betray me as they went deeper. The image of his lips and his body stuck out in my brain. All of his tattoos placed strategically across his chest and toned abs.

Realizing now, I haven't had sex in a couple of weeks and I was becoming desperate. The image of Pete and how his body moved perfectly with mine as we fucked had been burned permanently into my mind.

The feeling of need was almost unbearable. My hand moved to slowly caress my body as I lie thinking of Pete and his angelic features.

Biting my lip, my hand reaches down further to where the feeling burned most. My hand rubbed slowly over my underwear, causing me to let out a low groan at the contact.

I imagined my fingers were Pete's as I slowly moved my underwear to the side and pleasured myself. Soft whimpers came from my mouth as I thought of Pete and what he would be doing to me if he were here.

Deep down I knew I wouldn't be satisfied if Pete wasn't the one here making me feel good. I open my eyes not realizing they were shut and I stop my fingers movements and grab my phone using my other hand quickly searching for Pete's phone number, not giving it a second thought, I click on it holding it up to my ear listening as it rings.

A pause in the ringing causes me to hold my breath.

"Hello?"

Just the sound of his voice could have made me come undone.

"Pete?"

Silence fills the line for a moment. He doesn't respond.

"I need you."