Can't Take My Eyes Off You || Quinntana

Thirteen

"Are you okay?"

Quinn had barely made it into her dorm room before the pent-up emotions came spilling out of her. She was absolutely exhausted, with it being 3 am and having not slept at all on the flight. Of course, with her luck, her roommate, Nora, was up late studying.

"I'm fine." It was a lame attempt, but Quinn hoped Nora wouldn't care enough to push further. She didn't need that kind of interrogation in the middle of the night.

"Seriously, Quinn, what's up?" Nora's brow was furrowed in concern.

Completely delirious from lack of sleep, Quinn sputtered, "I think I'm gay." Realizing what she'd said, her body froze, then shook with an intense sob.

Nora rushed over to hug her. "Okay." She paused. "Why do you think that?" Her words were slow and calming.

"I might have feelings for my best friend." Quinn's body shook harder.

"The one you flew out to Lima to see?" Nora held Quinn tighter.

"Yeah."

The two stood still for a moment, then pulled apart and moved to sit next to each other on Quinn's bed. Quinn looked her friend up and down, scared of what she was admitting. Nora responded with kind eyes, encouraging her to say more.

"She makes me feel ways I've never felt before. But I can't be gay. I've always dated guys. Even thought I loved some of them. But they never made me feel the way she does." Quinn sank into the bed.

"Sounds like comphet to me."

"Huh?"

"Compulsory heterosexuality. You thought you were supposed to love boys, so you convinced yourself you did."

Quinn studied her friend for a second, then said, "You know a lot about this for a straight girl."

Nora let out a laugh. "Quinn, I'm a lesbian. I just never told you since I knew you grew up in a conservative family in Ohio. Didn't want my roommate hating me."

Now, it was Quinn's turn to laugh. She couldn't believe she'd never noticed. Nora wore a lot of eyeliner and listened to Ani DiFranco, but Quinn just thought she was the artsy type. Her gaydar had seriously failed her. As she was giggling, however, the weight of what Nora told her set in. Quinn was probably a lesbian.

"Quinn, what are you thinking?" Nora must have noticed her shift in demeanor.

"I don't think I'm comfortable calling myself a lesbian right now. I think I might just be tired and really confused." She sighed.

"Well," Nora put on an encouraging smile, "Take all the time you need. Labels can be difficult. Just know that I'm here to talk, okay?"

Quinn responded with her best attempt at a smile. Tears were still streaming down her face.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Quinn turned the lights off and climbed into bed, not even bothering to take off her dress. For someone who was so tired, she had an incredibly difficult time sleeping. All she could think about was Santana. The way she lit up the stage. Their hug afterward. The dinner at Breadstix. The way she could make Quinn's heart do cartwheels with a single glance. The heat of the moment when she leaned into her.

And the way Quinn completely fucked it up.

. . .

"Santana, are you okay? You look like you're about to vomit."

Santana looked up from the spot in the choir room in which she was warming up for night two of the musical. Mercedes was studying her with an expression of deep concern. Truth was,  Santana wasn't okay. After the events of the previous night, she was all shaken up, barely able to sleep. She may have messed up the one good friendship in her life.

"Yeah, just a little tired." She tried her best to be convincing.

"You know you can talk to me, right? We may have been rivals in high school, but we're also friends."

It was true; the two had always had an interesting friendship. While they spent a lot of time competing for solos in glee club, they also combined their talents for jaw-dropping duets. The relationship was about more than that, though. They were there for each other. Santana was one of the first people Mercedes told about her record deal. Now, Santana really needed to talk to a friend, and Quinn and Brittany were both off the table.

"Have you ever caught feelings for someone and been so sure they felt the same? Like the energy between you is unmistakeable? But then when you act on it, they run away?"

Mercedes pondered that for a moment. "Are we talking about Brittany right now?"

With a bit of a sigh, Santana admitted, "No."

"Well, first of all, I'm proud of you for moving on. And second of all, I know you, and your psychic Mexican third eye," Santana let out a giggle, "is scary accurate. If you think this person is into you, they're into you. Maybe you need to think about personal reasons why they could have pulled away. There's gotta be something."

For someone who'd known Quinn for years, Santana was completely drawing a blank. The two used to be able to practically read each other's minds, but now, everything was so cloudy. It had been exciting for a while, but the mystery was growing increasingly daunting.

"I really have no idea."

"Well, looks like you and that person need to talk about what's going on between you. Silence and guessing isn't going to help anyone."

That wasn't the advice Santana wanted to hear. She hated the idea of laying her emotions out on a platter for someone to scrutinize. Then again, that person was Quinn, someone who'd been by her side for years.

"Thanks, Mercedes." The friends hugged.

"Break a leg tonight. Not that you need any luck. You were incredible last night."

Santana grinned. "Only because you helped coach me through the songs."

"I may have helped you prepare, but your performance last night? That was all you."

Mercedes went backstage to make sure everything was running smoothly, leaving Santana alone in the choir room. She was finally feeling ready to perform, but something was still quietly nagging at her. She had to confront Quinn.