Privateer ~ Nikolai Lantsov

Chapter 21

"Then don't whine."

"I'll whine when I want to!" He snapped, and I burst out laughing. He looked at me, totally confused at my reaction. He thought I was going to cry or get mad at him. He'd have to try harder than yelling at me.

"I'm s-sorry," I say in between breaths as I'm laughing, "what was that? Phew," I deepened my voice and mocked, "I'll whine when I want to!" My laugh didn't sound like a lady. It wasn't cute or quiet. I was snorting like a pig hunched over almost on the ground. It wasn't even that funny.

"You're so mean." He crossed his arms and walked away.

"Bye!" I waved at him but he ignored me. He was in a mood.

I walked around the ship talking to some of the rogue Grisha. The Grisha that didn't end up at the little palace. The free ones -they were lucky- I wished I was free from the beginning. Genya too.

Word spread around the dock that this man the Apparat that used to stay at the little palace has begun a sun saint cult. Saying that she had died in the fold and been resurrected as a saint. What bull crap.

One night I hung out with Tamar drinking whisky. The nastiest stuff I've ever tried. One sip and I was drunk. A lightweight people might say.

"You probably shouldn't have had three glasses..." Tamar said taking the cup from me.

"Yeah, probably not." I laughed, "hey do you know what sturmhonds real name is? Like his Ravkan name? I've been wondering."

"No." She answered almost too quickly.

"You haven't asked him?"

"Nope."

"Where is he from? In Ravka, I mean."

"I should go and train."

"Tamar, don't you wonder? Don't you want to know?"

"No, I trust him. He lets us do whatever."

I groan, "but I want to know!"

"I have to train," she repeats.

"Train for what?"

"Life," Tamar said filling her cup.

"Mm very... informative. I guess I should too."

"What do you mean?"

I opened up to Tamar, I don't know why maybe it was the drinks I had. I told her how I wasn't a usual heartrender that I could heal and tailor and more but I lost them when I tried to save Mal. All I could do was slow or crush a heart.

Tamar looked down at me with pity.

"Oh stop," I hit her hand playfully, "I will find a way to be able to do it again. I know I will." Hopefully.

"Alright, I'm going to go, see you around Tamar," I placed my hands on the table helping my drunk self up walking out of the room.

"Where to?" I ask myself.

"Hm. I was thinking... maybe my room?" I turned around seeing Vasily. No. He's not here I've just drunk too much. I slap my head multiple times trying to make him disappear. And it worked. He was gone.