Epilogue

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I hate him.
I hate life and fate for this. How can life be so cruel ? He didn't even live a normal life except for half a year.
I hate him For leaving me in the dark . For being selfish thinking that's his decision to make . I hate that I'm hating him because I miss him so much. It's been a week now since he left me and since I left my room.
I couldn't face life again and I didn't want to see anyone or anything .
I still couldn't believe that he left me . How in the world did it happen. I lost him In front of my eyes.

There were tears streaming down my face always. There were moments when I run downstairs and open the door hoping that he'll be there waiting for me like always.
I couldn't believe How did My life in seconds was ruined..
I couldn't behave like a normal human again.

"Athena dear please come outside and talk with me at least " mom says through the door.

"I know it's hard for you but I'm always here " she cries.

"When your dad left I didn't know what I'd do . I was so lost , so broken . But I found strength again because I had you guys and he was everywhere still giving me strength " mom finishes .

"Take your time dear we are all waiting for you" she concludes and leaves.

I keep looking at the photos of me and him in my phone . I watch the video I previously recorded when he was trying to pose as a model.
I cry so hard . How am I not going to see his smile again? My heart couldn't bare it I feel so suffocated .
"Athena there's someone who wants to meet you " Theo calls gently.

"It's neo's mom" he explains .

I unlock the door and sit still on my bed.
Lilly opens the door and quietly walks in and sits next to me.
"I can't live like this anymore " I begin.

"Athena .." she begins sadly.

"No please don't try and make an excuse for him , he fucking left me lilly! I didn't even have the time to spend it with him " I cry .

"Athena calm down please " she cries and hugs me .

"I know it's really unbearable for you right now but please listen to me" she begs.

"I know what he did was not acceptable and I know it's a terrible shock for you "

"But he had his reasons as selfish as that can look like, he thought about you till the very last end " she continues .

"Did you know?" I sniffle .

"I knew yes . He didn't tell me directly so i confronted him and he told me " she says.
She pauses and fetches her bag and hands me a letter .

"He wanted me to give you this " she announces .
I looked at the letter fearing what was inside would break me more. But I took it from her and placed it next to me.

"I'll come visit you again dear I hope you get well soon " she smiles gently and kisses the top of my forehead .

"Thank you lilly " I smile .
I look at the back of the envelope and read what was on it. Read at the sea during the night ;)

"Damn it " I sigh and grab my car keys .

I arrived there around 9 pm . I slowly inhale the chilly air and made my way to the beach. I take a seat and pull my hair into a ponytail.
I take a deep breath and listened to the sea waves . God it helped . He was right , it was consoling to share my sadness with the sea at night. I'm looking at a bunch of stars and it feels good seeing them shining on me making me feel seen and acknowledged and no matter how big and magnificent they seem to be and how small I seem to be I still feel special and consoled underneath them.
I slowly open the letter and began to read .

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