Love is a Dangerous game

I won't give up

*fast forward a week into treatment*

Meredith's Pov:

I hate to say it or even think it but I don't think the chemo is working as much as I would have liked for it to work and for me to get out of here and begin a somewhat normal life again, I don't see that happening anytime soon and what makes it worse is Derek doesn't know and he will soon have to find out that the chemo isn't in fact working or isn't where it's supposed to be.

And as if he knew I was thinking of him, McDreamy himself walked into my room holding two cups of coffee.

"I thought you might need an energy boost for your chemo today so can you get through it, your usual coffee and I also brought you your favorite chocolate bar after the chemo, when you have your appetite back.'

God, what did I do to deserve him, now I don't even what to bring up the topic of chemo and my potential death but I have to rip the bandage with no anesthesia.

"Derek, what if the chemo isn't working and I-I what if I die. I don't want to leave you, I want to grow old with you, go to college with you get married have kids, I want you but what if cancer gets the best of me and I have to leave you? I don't want to Derek and I would have died bald and you would have had shaved your head for no reason. Derek, I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting if nothing is working to help me stay alive."

Derek's POV:

What Meredith said brought tears to my eyes, she isn't normally a share her feelings type of person but when she does you know you've gained her trust and that whatever she is going to say will be dark and twisty and this sure was.

She was thinking about the possibility that she would die and I know we are only 17 but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with Meredith, and if she dies I know I won't ever love again but that won't happen because we find something to help her there has to be something or someone that can do something, anything.

"Meredith, stop talking crap you are not dying and you are not going to die okay? I'm going to find a way to help you so we can live happily ever after together, you are my other half I can't breathe without you, it's like I was drowning and you saved me. I can't go back to my life knowing that you won't be with me so no I will not accept the fact that you will die because if you die I die, I love you Meredith Grey and I will fight like hell to make sure we can grow old together and die in each other's arms when we are 110."

"But Derek, Dr. Webber will come in and tell us the chemo isn't working and then try surgery and if the surgery doesn't work I'm basically a vegetable, I don't want to be holding you back when you could be doing so much more in life then looking after your sick girlfriend, you could be applying to college and starting your course to become a surgeon. Derek, we have to face reality and that is the fact that I might not make it out of  this thing alive."

"no stop please, you will make it I promise. you will make I will try everything to make sure of it, you're not dying okay we are meant to be."

Meredith's POV:

I couldn't stand sitting here watching and listening to Derek speak so sadly and come so close to crying all I wanted was to turn back time to when we both didn't have cancer and maybe then we could have met and begun our relationship and lived a normal 17- year-old life.

"Derek, can you lie with me please?"

"of course as long this isn't a goodbye hug because you're not dying."

But quietly we both knew there was a chance that I was in fact dying but we both didn't want to face that reality just yet, we just wanted to lie in each other's arms and savor these possible last moments together.

Hi everyone! I hope you liked this chapter so I'm kinda torn between if I want the chemo to work or if Meredith should sadly pass, and if she did pass  I will definitely make it sweet and peaceful death but yeah I'm torn so opinions and advice is welcomed :)

Also, I'm so so sorry for putting the meant to be in there I just had to :(

Anyway don't forget to vote/comment and if you have advice ideas or feedback its always welcome:)

Have a great day

-Cerys