New Blood, One Family 4

Chapter 47 - I wrote Letters...

*TW: This chapter contains mentions of Suicide. Please speak out if your feeling like this as you shouldn't suffer in silence. Talk to a parent or someone you trust. Please don't suffer in silence.

Harper finds it hard to get out of bed the next morning. But she knows she has to. She gets up, gets ready for shift and drives to the firehouse
"How is he?" Boden asks as they walk up the driveway
"He's Uhh okay" Harper replies remembering last nights events
"Okay and how are you?" Boden says as he looks at Harper
"I'm good" Harper says as Boden shoots her a look
"Really! I'm good" Harper says before walking in
*At the hospital*
Kelly hadn't slept all night. He lay awake thinking about everything. His mind wouldn't shut down. He didn't know if this was due to the medication that he was on. Or if he was going insane. A nurse came in and took him to a room and sat him down at a desk. Dr.Charles then walks in
"Good Morning Mr.Severide" Daniel says as he sits down
Kelly just looks at the table
"Do you wanna tell me why you took them?" Daniel asks
"I wrote letters" Kelly adds bluntly
"Letters?" Daniel asks confused
"The letters. The goodbye ones" Kelly adds as he looks up at Dr.Charles
"We're you planning on" Daniel says as Kelly interrupts him
"Killing myself? Yeah" Kelly says as he sighs
"But you didn't?" Daniel adds
"When Harper was admitted I was at the lowest point in my life. I was planning on going home and "finishing the job" shall we say. But Dawson brought the kids over and I couldn't have them see that" Kelly adds emotionless
"Okay, did you tell Gabby?" Daniel asks
"In a way I felt she knew. She never left me alone. The kids were always home. I never got a chance to. So I turned to the pills and here we are" Kelly adds as Dr.Charles nods
"Where did you keep the letters?" Daniel asks
"They were under my bed for a while. But I thought I should put them in my locker. In case someone found them" Kelly admits
After a while Dr.Charles calls Harper after discovering that Kelly left his letters in his locker.
"Harper!" Daniel says
"Yeah?" Harper replies as she holds the phone up to her ear
"Do you know Kelly's locker combination?" Daniel asks
"Yes? Why?" Harper asks confused
"I need you to go in and find letters then get back to me!" Daniel says frantically
"Okay okay! I'll call you once I've found them!" Harper replies before ending the call
Harper follows his instructions and runs to Kelly's locker. She opens it and searches. She then finds the letters they are addressed to Gabby, Matt, Chief, Squad 3, the kids and finally Harper. Harper grabs her letter opens it and sits down
*The letter*
I'm sorry! I just can't do this anymore. I can't live anymore. If your reading this then I'm probably dead. I'll have finally let you go. I'm sorry that you had to deal with me for the past 12 years. Had to walk with me on your arm. The disappointment that can never make anyone happy. I wanted to let you know that none of this is your fault. I wanted to die! I made that call! Please don't live with this guilt all the time. Our job is to save people. But I'm the person that no one can save. Not even the famous Harper Bailey. Tell the kids that daddy's gonna be watching over them. Tell Aria and Maria to let Casey walk them down the aisle. Because I'll always be there even if they can't see me. Tell Hunter and Devin that Boden or Casey can teach them how to play football or how to shave. But most importantly your not alone Harper. I can't have the kids loose another parent.
I love you Harper Severide forever and always....
Goodbye...