What If (Season 5 AU)

Chapter 23

For the first time in what felt like a lifetime, Bellamy Blake had slept properly and woke well rested. The timing wasn't perfect, and by far from substantial, but being close and holding his family, knowing they were safe in his arms, is all it took for real peace and sleep to take over his mind and body. When he wakes- just for a moment- he forgets the cruel world they now live in. The thereat of War just on the outside of the flap of their tent. But for now, all that matters were the three people lying with him who were peacefully asleep. Or so he thought. His hand feels rather chill. His eyes flutter open to find the spot where Clarke had been now empty. Both the children were still fast asleep, worn out from the events of last night no doubt. 

Quickly, and as quietly as he can, Bellamy untangles himself from the blankets and Augy and makes his way outside the tent. He looks and looks and doesn't find Clarke anywhere outside, so he goes down in the bunker. Relief floods over him when he catches a sight of blonde through the tinted window of the closed door to medical. He opens the door cautiously and makes his presence known as to not startle her. She's taken her shirt off and appears to be tending to the wound on her side, but she knows she's not alone. Bellamy can see that when she perks her head up and glances over her shoulder. As much as it shouldn't relieve him that she doesn't try to cover up, it does. 

"Hey." He calls softly. Clarke relaxes more when he steps into her view.

 "Hey." 

Bellamy walks around the table and looks down at her side and notices the wound patched up, with a roll of wrap sitting next to her. Without thinking he kneels and takes it in his hand, a silent question she answers with a small nod. He starts unwinding it and wrapping her side  gently, making sure to not cause her more pain. Only when he finishes up does she break the silence.

"Are the kids awake?" 

"No, they're still knocked out. Can't say I blame them either." Clarke chuckles with a knowing smirk. 

"No kidding. Every time they went to sleep they were woken up, and then... the crowd." Bellamy finishes up and stands. 

"I know." Boldly he lets his hands rets on her shoulders and smiles as she relaxes, and then surprisingly rests her head on his after laying her hand on top of his. "But they're safe and fast asleep." 

She nods and holds his hand tight while the silence surrounding them closes in like a warm blanket. It was welcoming and peaceful, and these moments did not happen nearly enough. But the pair relished in the times when they came. 

"How did they get swept up in the crowd anyway? You said they were waiting in my tent. They were supposed to be there until I got back." Clarke tenses automatically under his touch, lifting her head form its place. He notices she doesn't look up and deliberately keeps her gaze down and lips closed. "Clarke?" she sighs softly before muttering one word. One words that flips something inside Bellamy that he didn't realize was there until now.

"Echo."

"Echo? " Each second ticked by slower and slower as the silence  lingered on. He could swear he could hear each beat of his heart pounding in his chest. 

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

Bellamy tries as hard as he can to listen to the words that spill from Clarke's lips, and does all he can together his breathing once he understands it all. He knew Clarke left the kids in his tent and they were supposed to stay and wait for him, but he didn't know Echo was supposed to watch them until then. He didn't know she told them she didn't care if they stayed or not. She left them alone and because of it they were almost killed. All Bellamy could see was red.  

"Bellamy!" Startled he lets go of Clarke's hands and steps back, running a hand through his messy  hair. "It wasn't her fault, okay. I never should have left them and-"

"No." He interrupts, his entire body trembling. "No, Echo said she would watch them until I came back. Just a few more seconds and they would have been fine. I would have been there with them and she could have made it in time for the transport ship. But instead-"

"Stop it!" He doesn't realize the distance had been closing between them until Clarke was standing in front of him, each of her hands grasping the side of is face. "She didn't mean them any harm. She couldn't have known what would have happened. Bell. Take a deep breath and look at me." 

Bellamy listens carefully to each of her words, but the message was not received. All he could see was his children trampled, or shot. All because Echo didn't keep her promise. Just one minute. One minute is all she had to wait and none of this would have happened. Clarke moves one hand from his cheek to his chest while the other snakes to the back of his neck and tugs down. She doesn't stop until his head rests atop her chest; shushing him and combing through his curls to keep his breathing under control. 

"Augy is okay. Madi is okay. They're both alive and unharmed. We're here, with you! Just breath." He does as he is told but the hammering in his chest refuses to subside. Bellamy knows what he has to do; something he should have done long ago. its when he pulls away from Clarke that he makes up his mind

"I have to go."

"Bell-"

He pulls away from her embrace entirely and moves his hands  from her waist to frame her cheeks. "I'll be right back, I promise."

"Don't do anything stupid." She brings her hands up and close them around his wrists, squeezing lightly. Even with his smirk she can see straight through him. "Bellamy."

"I won't. I'll be right back." Hesitantly, and rather quickly, Bellamy reaches down to press a tender kiss on her lips. Bellamy knew what he had to do and he couldn't put it off any longer.