Hues of an Abstract Mind (Arte del Amor #4)

EPILOGUE

The silence is deafening.

When it first started, it was unbearable. I was my father's golden child growing up, and now that I have grown out of that and saw my future going in a different way from what he pictured, he tossed me out like I was nothing.

It was painful. The silence was painful but I got used to it. I still feel it but at some point, it just got so old and repetitive that it feels natural. Like pain was a constant thing that I should feel and I accepted it wholeheartedly because I honestly believed I deserved it.

"Vaughan Ares, you have to talk to your brother! He's fourteen and he can change his mind about this. Ngayon pa lang ay baguhin mo na ang isip niya!" I heard my father's thundering voice coming from his home office.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad para makinig. They're talking about me. My father doesn't talk to me anymore so hearing him talk about me is my only consolation. At least he knows I exist.

Kuya Vaughan's voice is always calm and collected, but my hearing is good as it makes up for my poor vision back then.

"Ambrose's career choice isn't mine to control, Dad. I shouldn't dictate anything and neither should you."

I almost flinched when I heard a loud bang. Sumilip ako sa maliit na siwang sa pintuan at nakita kong nagbagsak ng makapal na libro si Dad sa kahoy niyang lamesa. Mukhang hindi natinag si Kuya roon. Sanay na.

"When you decided to become a doctor, I let you! But we don't need another doctor in this family. Para saan pa na dalawa ang anak ko kung magdodoktor din pareho?!"

I'm not stupid. Of course, I'd sense when something is pure and utter bullshit. Para bang isang napakalaking kasalanan na hindi ako mag-aabogado at hindi ako ang magiging tagapagmana ng pangalan niya sa korte.

Lumaki akong ako ang paboritong anak ni Dad. I wasn't supposed to know about this, but I heard that they only had another child because my brother was close to my mother and had decided as a child that he'd follow her career path. My father wasn't happy about that so they had me instead to follow his footsteps.

My birth is his retirement plan. So, choosing to become a doctor is quite literally me defying the sole purpose of why I was even here in the first place.

He'd often take me to his law firm he takes pride in. I have met a lot of clients that feel indebted to him because he had helped them before. I know he helps a lot of people and I admire that.

Believe me when I say I tried to love it. But when I saw what my mother was doing, it captured me in a way that law has never done before. I was young, yes, but being young doesn't mean I don't know what I want for myself.

Medicine was for me.

Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit hindi niya na lang sa akin sabihin 'yon at kailangang si Kuya Vaughan pa ang pagbuntungan ng galit. Ganoon niya ba ka-ayaw sa akin at hindi niya maatim na makita ang mukha ko para sigawan man lang?

"Dad, kung pagdodoktor ang gusto ng kapatid ko, bakit hindi? Bakit hindi natin siya hayaan? Just let him. It's not going to make you less of a man."

"If that's the case, why didn't you become the lawyer of the family instead? Sinunod mo sana 'ko, para ngayon ay may abogado na akong anak!"

"Because I didn't know you'd stoop this low, Dad! If only I had known that you'd make my younger brother carry the burden of your legacy and pride, I would have studied to become a lawyer! That way, he wouldn't have to experience this!" sigaw ng kuya ko.

Ngayon ko lang narinig na sumagot pabalik si Kuya. Sinigawan siya pabalik ni Dad pero hindi na ulit nagsalita si Kuya, tinanggap na lang ang lahat ng sinasabi ng ama.