I Choose You

Situation, Pt 2

Wish I knew exactly what you meant
Wish it wasn't messing with my head
Right person, wrong time, I'm dyingI've been wondering what's been going on, what's our situation?
Hanging on, and on, and on to every conversation
I wanna let go, but it's so complicated
Baby, all I'm saying is, what's the situation?If you love me, let me know or let me go, let me go or let me know. . ."

- "Situation" Ruth B.

***

"Icarus!" I nearly shouted in surprise. Guilt soon washed over me that I had punched him. Granted my actions were justified because he was an intruder. Even still, I felt bad about hitting Icarus in the eye. I should have recognized his voice and not panicked.

In the shock of everything, I managed to mutter an apology. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you."

"It's cool," Icarus said, clutching his bruising eye.

"Let me go get you some ice for that." Turning around, I went to retrieve the ice from the kitchen.

Icarus was quick to grab my arm, halting my actions. With a tug of my arm, Icarus managed to spin me around so that I was facing him. Standing up straight, Icarus easily towered over me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Instinctively, from not liking people's dirty hands touching me, I struggled to free my arm from Icarus.

Letting go, he gave me a guilty look like he had been the one to injure me. "I'm sorry. Hurting and scaring you was never my intention for this visit."

Narrowing my eyes, I wondered why he was there. "What are your intentions for breaking into my room?" When the words left my mouth they tasted sour. He should not have been there. He had broken up with me over text. He should not reinject himself in my life out of the blue. Let alone sneak into my room through my window. "We have doors, you know?"

Icarus backed away from me. I had not realized how close we were until the heat provided from his body left me cold with the newly created distance. "I know," Icarus scratched the back of his neck in a nervous manner. "I figured with it being this late on a school night, your parents wouldn't like me knocking on the door and asking for you."

"We have phones."

"Would you have answered?"

My lips parted to answer but I stalled. Thinking it over, I wondered to myself if I would have actually answered. The truth was, I wouldn't have. Not because I was still raw and upset by our break up but because seeing his name on my cell phone screen would have had me spiraling to no end.

Being trapped in my thoughts as to why he was calling, I would have not answered the call in time. And there was no doubt in my mind that my anxiety and nerves would have prevented me from calling him back.

Inhaling, I shook my head.

"You deserve an explanation," he stated with sincerity laced in his voice.

I lifted an eyebrow, curious about what was to come next. "Yeah? Go ahead."

Icarus did not answer me at first. The lack of an immediate explanation made me feel frustrated. Unbeknownst to me, I started to tap my foot on the hardwood floor in impatience.

Icarus ran a hand through his curly blonde hair. A sigh escaped his plump lips. "I like you Lynn." 

My cheeks felt like they were on fire as he called me by my last name. It was endearing. 

"You've been nothing but sweet, kind...and innocent," Icarus continued. "It's been refreshing. I didn't want us to end but..." an intense silence lingered after Icarus failed to finish his sentence.