I Hope That I Make You Proud

1

(Sequel to Do You See Me At All?)

(Kellin's POV)

I sat on my bed reading another chapter of my book. I felt a bit bored and found myself re-reading the same paragraph, but I felt that no matter how long I read it, I couldn't get it in my brain, the words wouldn't process. I let my mind give up and I threw the book across the room. It's my favorite, but it just pissed me off. I don't want to read anymore...

I want to...I want to talk to Victor. He had offered me to call him Vic, and I accepted. I felt embarrassed at first; it felt like a cute step forward in our relationship. I do call him Victor sometimes, I like to tease him and make him feel old. Or at least he says it makes him feel old, that it makes him want to jump up and scream 'no', or that it reminds him of his mom yelling at him when he's in trouble.

I walked out of my room and walked down the stairs to get the phone. I didn't bother hiding from my mom; she was already passed out. So much drinking was really going to get to her fucking liver. I went back up stairs and closed the door behind me. My mom was asleep, but she could still wake up. I dialed Vic's number, I memorized it, but not in a weird way. I had to, due to the fact that once my mom searched my whole room for money and I was afraid she'd find the hidden number, so I had no other option than to memorize it. I didn't want to stop contacting Vic, he was really impacting my life and loosing contact, due to an alcohol–crazed lady, would really anger me.

I let the phone ring but there was no answer. I was surprised. There was no answer, but that's too bad. I placed the phone on the nightstand. I covered myself with the bed sheets and decided to forget my embarrassing attempt to contact someone who didn't answer. In my attempt to force myself to sleep, I thought of reasons to why Vic wouldn't answer.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Today had been a long day. First, my mom broke a couple things in the house. Then my dad said he would come over, but then he cancelled. He said he had something to do in the office, but in reality he was annoyed when my mom kept calling to ask at what time he would arrive. That's why, when he cancelled; she started breaking things. Then the neighbors were complaining about beer bottles in their thrash can bin. I had ran out of space in our trash can bin, so I thought I had secretly placed them there.

I decided not to go to school, I guess after I turned eighteen they really didn't bother anymore. My birthday was complete shit; McDonalds seemed like the best place to go...I went alone by the way. Vic went to work, and it was understandable. I don't get mad; it's a good reason. He's not the richest man in town, but my dad is one of them. My dad shouldn't even be bothered by work, but he chose that instead of joining me one day. I don't want to make myself a victim, but I just want my family. Well...I guess I'm looking at it from a terrible point of view. My mom, tried to make an attempt. She looked at me the morning of my birthday, she smiled, said 'happy birthday', took a big gulp from her bottle of Vodka, and burst into tears and rushed up to her room. I guess deep down, she knows what she's doing. The whole self-destruct mode she's in, it's probably her mask, and deep down she really loves me. I know she does.

I won't give up on my parents. I will love them, even if I say I don't. I'll regret my words and apologize and say I love them once more. They gave me the life I have now and I shouldn't be ungrateful. Suicide won't be my answer any longer.

I've talked to Vic about this; I really did need someone to talk to. I cleared my thoughts out and I'm making an attempt to find happiness. But I know I need to be patient, because there are mountains you have to climb, cliffs you have to jump, and skies to touch.

I flipped over in my bed when I heard a consistent sound. I sat up and looked around. I looked at my window immediately when I located the sound.

"What the fuck Vic?!" I whispered. I jumped off my bed and ran to my door to make sure it was locked. I then rushed to the window and opened it.