MEDICINE ➤ SPENCER REID

THIRTEEN

"Grief is a most peculiar thing; we're so helpless in the face of it. It's like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it." - Arthur Golden.

* * *

"Did everything go well?"

Spencer's voiced hummed down the phone that was propped against Louise's ear. She bit her lip, leaning against a wall right beside the entrance to the hospital that she spends way too much time in, "yeah," she spoke up loudly, for the traffic zooming past her echoed, "it all went fine, just like always."

Louise had her regular tests done that morning at the hospital - tests that checked if she had contracted any bugs or illnesses that she did not know about - and tests that determined to see if her Cystic Fibrosis were not flaming up again - for right now, in this moment, it's the longest she'd been without going into hospital.

"I'll get the results back hopefully soon," Louise sighed, feeling as large gusts of wind pushed strands of her chocolate brown hair into her pale face, "don't overthink it, alright?" she soon exhaled sharply when Spencer remained quiet, "the results will be fine."

"Spencer?"

Louise's tone of voice was quiet, and her vocal chords cracked slightly - for she felt a deep twist of sadness run through her body. She stood up straight from the wall, "Spencer?" her voice repeated again.

"What's wrong?" Spencer's voice suddenly broke down the phone, sounding distant. Louise was caught off guard by this, and she felt her breath hitch at her throat, "what?" she stuttered out, barely.

"Louise," Spencer breathed out, "you've been acting distant, shutting me and your friends down, your actions are jittery-"

"Don't profile me, Spencer," Louise cut in, slightly bothered. She almost felt her body shake with a mix of emotions; sadness, grief, angriness and lonesomeness. Spencer remained quiet for several long seconds, "please, what's wrong?" he managed in an extremely quiet voice, sounding like he desperately wanted to help his girlfriend.

Louise closed her eyes tightly and gripped her phone harder in her clammy hand, "it's just," she began, voice already cracking, "today's my moms three year anniversary," her shoulders slumped, "of being gone."
Spencer swallowed, hard, "hey, I'm sorry," he spoke gently, "if it makes you feel better, do you want me to leave work early so I can stay with you tonight?"

Louise shook her head, although Spencer could not see this, "it's fine, Spencer," she paused, "I think I wanna' spend today alone..."
There was a small silence, until Spencer nodded, "I understand."

Louise looked down to the sidewalk she stood on, thinking deeply about her mother, Rosemary. She remembered her last words; the last look in her mothers eyes - the pain and sadness, for she did not want to leave this world too soon. Louise swallowed hard at the thoughts, acknowledging that one day she'd follow the same path of her mother - dying young.
"I'm sorry," Louise breathed out.

"Why?" Spencer replied almost instantly, complexly confused.

"I didn't mean to shut you out, or even act distant towards you," Louise admitted, "I just miss her, so much... so much it hurts."
"I know, Louise," Spencer softly smiled down the phone, "and I completely understand why you've been acting like this for the past few days... just, I want you to know I'm here for you."