Stupid Supergirl AU's

The Characters As Things Ive Said On My Twitch Streams

Lena: "You gotta be fucking kidding me. That's not fucking Skooma - that's boner repellent."

Alex: "I just wanted to come home and cry. But no. I have to be dating an EMOTION HOOKER. And now I have to FACE MY PROBLEMS."

Nia: "If only y'all liked my random voices. I mean, just because you don't doesn't mean I'm gonna stop making them. I just wished y'all liked them."

Kara (me): "I want cuddles. Naked cuddles. With Aphrodite (from Hades). Is that too much to ask?"
Sam (my friend) :I will tell your girlfriend that you want to fuck a cartoon."
Kara (me): "Nooooooo, she'd suffocate me with a pillow."

Kelly (me): "Y'all need a thera-" *somethibg jumps out* "HOLY MOTHER OF MERCY! Anyway, y'all need a therapist."
Lena (my friend) : "That's why we befriended you."
Kelly (me): "What - OHHH I'm the therapist friend."
Alex (my friend): "You literally STUDIED psychology."

Kara (a viewer): "So you made a mistake by introducing your (girlfriend's) child to the Harry Potter books? Why is that a mistake?"
Alex (me): "Because they're favourite character is Snape. It's fine though because I'm convincing Kelly (/my girlfriend) that it's defective so we can get rid of it."
Kara (a viewer): "THATS ILLEGAL!"
Nia (another viewer): "IKR, HOW DARE THEY LIKE BOOK SNAPE!"

Kara: "Pretty sure the only reason I'm streaming is because I don't wanna cry in front of my girlfriend. She's scary when she tries to be supportive."

Lena (me) : "I refuse to cry in front of my girlfriend. Because I won't give her the fucking satisfaction of seeing me cry. I have a reputation to upho-"
Kara (my girlfriend (at the time)): "I'm literally watching your stream."
Lena (me): *Sweating* "OH hi babyyy"

Nia: "The next thing that jumps out at me, I'm going to help commit no longer existing."

Lena: "Wait, what the fuck do you mean that kid are fucking watching this? I specifically requested no fucking kids."
Alex (a viewer): "The kids are not fucking, Lena."
Lena: "DON'T FUCKING SWEAR! THERE ARE LITTLE BITCHES PRESENT!"

Lori: "Hang on, let me blow out this candle before it burns the fucking house down."
Lori, five seconds later, running in with a bucket of water: "TOO FUCKING LATE! SAVE THE $1000 LAPTOP!"
Lori, two seconds later: "Thanks for watching y'all. I won't be back, my mother's gonna kill me."

Lilian: "The next person who makes fun of me is getting nuked."
Lena (a viewer): "You don't have access to nukes."
Lilian: "Wanna bet?"

Kara: "Why is everyone calling me a boomer? I am literally a child."
Alex (my friend): "You're literally helping to raise a child."
Kara: "I still collect Pokémon cards. I shouldn't be raising a child."

Alex: "I swear to fucking god, I will fly through this screen and nut shot the next man who speaks."
Mon-El (A viewer): "Jokes on you, I don't have nuts."
Winn (another viewer): Come shoot my nuts queen🥜🥜🥜🥜🥜
Alex: "I fucking hate you."

Nia (my friend): Remember to smile, Cass (a viewer) because you are fucking awesome."
Lori (me): "And if you can't smile, maybe try fucking me."
Nia (my friend): "LoRI nO."

Lilian (my friend): "This isn't a job."
Lori, taking a sip of a Mother: "Neither is divorcing people to take half of their money. But here you are."

Lori: "I just want someone to share my Minecraft world with."
Cass (my girlfriend): "I'm literally in your world."
Lori: "Yeahhhh but I meant like Wanda (Katie McGrath)."

Brainy (my friend): "I was talking to Lena the other day and she told me that if she had a psychotic break, I would be the second last person she'd kill."
Sam (A viewer): "Who's the last?"
Lori (me): "Probably me."
Lena (my ex): "Who the fuck do you think? I would never kill Demi Lovato. That sexy mother fucker can come fuck Lori's (my ex's kid's) mother."
Lori (me): "Never mind, kill me first."
Lena (my ex): "Will do! You do the absolute most damage to my mental health!"

Lori: "I swear to fucking god. If this game doesn't stop making me a crew mate, I'm going to rage quit and snap my laptop in ha-" *Gets crewmate* "Welp, goodbye expensive laptop!"
Everyone: "Lori nO!"

Maggie: "I'd arrest Lena any day."
Lena (me): "Jokes on you, I like being in handcuffs."
Sam (a viewer): "You're a masochist?"
Lena (me): "No. But if I'm not restrained, I will choke Kara (my ex) and she has this weird reflex when she gets choked."
Kara (my ex): "For the last time, I'm sorry I called you a cat in the hat looking mother fucker. I have trauma too, okay?!"
Maggie: "What kind of trauma do you have to have-"

Lena (me): "Don't get me wrong. I miss having sex. But I thank god I'm not wanting to die anymore."
Kelly: "Awww I'm so proud of you."
Lena (me): *Gets called a noob by a twelve year old* "Never-fucking-mind. Kill me please."

Lori: "I told Cass I wanted to cosplay as Wanda and Vision for Halloween this year."
Nia (my friend): "How'd that go?"
Lori: "Well, she asked why I wanted to be Vision and I said so I can die. Apparently that earned me a month of therapy."
Nia (my friend): *Wheezing* You're so fucking stupid.

Jack: "I fucked Lena (me)*
James: "So did I."
Lena (me): "Dear god, I'd like to apologise for my if I fuck him, maybe I'll finally finish phase. In my defence, internalised homophobia was a bitch of a thing to deal with."

Nia (a viewer): I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
Lori (me): "Bitch, this is the Skyrim map."

Sam: "Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one of my friendship circle that has a brain."
Lena (my best friend): "Oi, you little hoe."
Lena (my best friend): "You're right, but you don't have to call us out."
Kelly (my other friend): "Um, fuck you too ig."

Jess: "I'm in love."
Hope (my ex): "Awww I love you t-"
Jess: "Dahlia (from Monster Camp) is so fucking sexy it hurtssss"
Hope (my ex): "Alrighty then."