The Obscure Downsides of Fame

66 // better depressed

I rummaged through my stuff, finding several cylindrical cans of all sorts, but I couldn't find the flashlight. I ran a hand through my heat, and then my eye suddenly started burning like crazy. "Fuck fuck fuck, Oakley, I think something flew in my eye."

"Shit, what do I do? Wait, I'll look for the flashlight."

"There should be some eye drops too."

I kept my eye shut as I waited for him to find my eye drops. He eventually pulled me to the tent and turned the brightness of my laptop up.

"Wait, they're expired."

"I don't care if it's expired a little, Oakley. It burns like a motherfucker."

"It's been expired for two years. I'm not ruining your eyesight over this. You still have your contacts in, right? Can't you take them out?"

"I won't be able to see."

"Then keep the other one in. We'll just follow the extension cord back to your house."

I nodded, liking his idea, and took my contact out, blinking until my vision was as clear as it could get.

"I should probably bring my laptop for the light." I grabbed it and held it under my arm, keeping my contactless eye closed so I could at least somewhat see.

Oakley held onto the extension chord and followed it while I made sure my laptop illuminated the ground so we didn't step on anything.

"Nolan?"

"Hm?"

"Can you hold my arm? Just so I know you're still there."

"Okay," I said, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder. He was shaking a little, but so was I. This was a perfect horror movie scenario, so I wasn't ashamed to admit I was fucking scared.

"Can you see anything?" he asked me, his voice just above a whisper.

"No." And then the balance of my laptop started shifting, making it fall to the ground and turning the light off. Oakley twitched at the sound, and I didn't let go of him.

"Shit," I said quietly.

"It's fine. We should almost— shit."

I shiver ran down my spine when he swore.

"What shit? No shit. What's wrong?"

"Dead end," he said, holding up the end of the cable.

"How did this even happen?"

"I think maybe someone came here and accidentally disconnected it. The other cable should start here somewhere."

"I'm scared," I admitted.

"Me too," he said, grabbing my hand. "It'll be fine."

"This isn't a joke, is it? Because I will kill you."

"Can I be honest with you?" he asked, his tone suddenly really serious. I was hoping, no, praying for him to just come out and say this is a joke.

"What?"

"I don't want us to be a secret. Like, I understand why we have to, but I just don't... I don't want it to be like this."

"What?"

"How long will we have to keep it a secret? How long will we have to come up with secret dates and hiding our affection and filtering our thoughts when we're out in public? I'm not good at any of this and I'm afraid I'll fuck it up and do or say something stupid which will force us to come out anyway and then it wouldn't have been on our own terms and it would be so devastating because we wouldn't be prepared. I kinda wanna get it over with. I know it's a bad idea but it's..."