☀︎︎Featured on Wattpad's @NA and @FreeTheLGBT☀︎︎
* this is the original first draft. The rewrite is now also out on my profile! *
ᴏᴀᴋʟᴇʏ ᴄᴀʀʀɪʟʟᴏ was discovered at fourteen years old, being praised as a musical prodigy by the media ever since. His f...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
ɴᴏʟᴀɴ ᴍᴜʟʟᴇɴ
{3 years ago}
"You always do that," Kylan said, rolling his eyes dramatically as he turned around and walked towards his bed.
"Do what?" He faced me again, his brows furrowed as though my question was ridiculous.
"Pretend like the world owes you something. 'I'm Nolan Theodore Mullen, some generic ass white boy with mediocre skills, but also with castings left and right because my daddy is famous.' Just quit whining already." I cringed at the mention of my dad. I'd just told him my dad and I weren't on speaking terms at the time. Not like I expected him to care.
"I was just saying maybe I should talk to my mom about it. Or maybe my agent. I don't want to live this."
"Like what? In the closet? You rather lose your career over something so irrelevant? It's not like much would change anyways."
"What are you even trying to say with that?" It would change things, wouldn't it? I wouldn't have to keep my relationships secret. That was already a big positive for me. Not like I'd dated much, but it all had to end because keeping secrets was tricky.
"You think you'll find someone who will be open with you? Most people aren't stupid enough to be out, Nolan. You're gonna end up secretly dating some closeted dude either way. Unless you're looking for a twink, maybe."
He was probably right. I barely knew any openly gay guys in this industry. The ones that did come out, usually took quite a bit of time to do so. I'd have to wait for ages in order to find someone. It wouldn't be worth the trouble. Yet the thought of keeping it a secret still made my stomach twist.
"Do you think they'd stop casting me?"
All I wanted was to find someone, fall in love, and keep doing what I loved. It now felt like I had to choose. Either one or the other.
"You're afraid you'd end up like me? Uncastable? That's just my life, Nolan. There's not much choice when you're not white and attractive."
"Don't say that. You know you're attractive." He did that a lot. He had a few scars on his face, which somehow resulted in this mindset. To me, the scars made him look ten times better. They made him stand out, and they made him more real than anyone else in the industry. It was proof that we weren't perfect and unbreakable. We weren't robots made out of titanium. We weren't perfectly sculpted.
"That's not my point. You're acting like your entire fucking world stops spinning the moment you'll get treated like me, but what if I were to come out? I'd be on the fucking streets. I don't even have the luxury to think about shit like that."
