His Snowflake

Chapter 43 -Understanding

We were just talking about how our mornings went which was quite pleasant because Nora had become more special to me.

She was like a saviour and a special friend.

Trevor was like the rock that I could always lay on.

Seeing the two of them having a conversation and laughing from the bottom of their hearts, it made me feel full.

It was that indescribable feeling of watching the people you cherish be happy. It made you happy too.

When we got to the library, my hands started to sweat a little.

I knew I was ready but saying it all out was a very unfamiliar thing to me...

I usually kept it all in.

We got seated on the couches and Nora greeted, "So Alana, what progress have you made? Trevor has told me about your great improvements but I want to hear from you. How do you feel?"

It's starting off light.

Okay, I can do this.

"For the past two days, I finally was able to understand that everything I have been through is part of me. I am not defined by how they made me crumble but how I was able to stand up again. Thanks to that thinking, I've been happier and much more able to deal with any setbacks that I had," I said all that with a weird feeling swimming in my gut.

Alana a year ago wouldn't even think about defining herself. All she would have thought of is how to stop living.

I felt so proud.

This pride felt good.

Nora nodded her head happily and commented, "Yes dear! I can see the improvements already by juts looking at the way you talk! Wonderful progress!"

Then the room fell silent because we didn't really know what to say.

I could tell that Nora was thinking of a question to probe a talk but the way she seemed to be ransacking her brain told me she wasn't getting far.

Trevor just stayed silent the whole time because usually he would just assure me with his presence, not necessarily cutting into the session.

I sat there awkwardly, fiddling with my fingers with loads of hesitation in my head.

I waved them all away and shyly announced, "Nora...? I think I'm ready..."

Nora looked at me with shock before composing herself and nodding for me as a signal for me to talk.

"Well...it started after I came home from the hospital...My father would be drunk all the time and he would be smashing all those beer bottles. His grief was tremendous...Then he...started taking it all out on me..." I choked back a sob, becoming aware of the tears that were falling.

"It's been a long time so I'm not sure how long my father had been...abusing me..." The word "abusing" seemed very foreign...

Trevor held my hand and stroked the back of it was his thumb, giving me the optimum amount of comfort.

Nora had a very encouraging look in her eyes and so I continued.

"He usually came home from work...He would find me eating dinner and he would say things like I don't deserve to eat...He would also tell me how underserving I was to be alive...Then he would loosen his belt and start whipping me..."

I took a deep breath.

"He would whip me, kick me and sometimes even strangle me until he was content. Then he would go back up to sleep. It was like a cycle...I hated living or I guess purely just existing."

I looked down at my lap before continuing again.

"He started buying whips and canes over the years and everything in the house became weapons too...I just got beaten, too afraid to stand up for myself...I just lived until now as my father's stress-relief doll..."

I basically said everything that I wanted. All of it summarised my life.

I felt so tired all of a sudden. There were no tears in my eyes. I was done with my father.

He promised to love me but it was all empty lies to manipulate me.

I was done.

I finally understand.

He was the thing in my life that I had to let go.

I hope he is punished for making me suffer all this while.

It's his turn.

-

Yay! Another chapter up!! Hope y'all enjoyed this one :D

Currently it's Saturday and I go back to school on Monday...Please save me :(
I won't be able to write as often so I would just like to update and say that I will update on Friday and Saturday night (more like a.m. so it may be Saturday and Sunday dawn?)
Thanks for the constant support and I hope that all of you would understand!
I will try to update in the week if I have free time to spare :D

See y'all soon!! :)