10 Things I Hate About Harry |l.s.|

Chapter-3

GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE

Louis now sits before Ms. Perky.

MS. PERKY: Louis Tomlinson. My, my. You've been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again.

LOUIS: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.

MS. PERKY:  Well, yes, compared to your other choices of expression this year, today's events are quite mild. By the way, Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.

LOUIS: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. I was merely a spectator.

MS. PERKY: The point is Louis -- people perceive you as somewhat...

Louis smiles at her, daring her to say it.

LOUIS: Tempestuous?

MS. PERKY: No.... I believe "heinous bitch" is the term used most often.
He grimaces,  as if she's referring to a medical condition.

MS. PERKY:  (continuing) You might want to work on that.

Louis rises from his chair with a plastic smile matching the counselor's.

LOUIS: (sarcastically) As always, thank you for your excellent guidance.

SOPHOMORE ENGLISH CLASS

Zayn ignores the droning teacher as he writes a note in big flowing handwriting.

TEACHER: I realize the language of Mr. Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, but I'm sure you're all doing your best.

Zayn folds the note and passes it behind him with running his hand through his hair to JAMES. James opens the note and reads:
"STAN DORSEY SAID HI TO ME IN THE HALL! OH! MY GOD!"
James frowns to himself.

TEACHER: (continuing) Mr. Malik, do you care to comment on what you've read so far?

Zayn looks up and smiles the smile of Mommy's little boy.

ZAYN:  Not really.

The teacher shakes his head, but lets it go.

LOUISE. A waif-like senior girl who sits off to the side trying to slit her wrist with the plastic spiral on her notebook, looks up and raises her hand.

TEACHER: Louise -- since you're assisting us, you might as well comment, I'm assuming you read the assignment.

LOUISE:  Uh, yeah, I read it all.

TEACHER: The whole play!?

LOUISE:  The whole folio. All the plays.

TEACHER: (disbelieving) You've read every play by William Shakespeare?

LOUISE:  Haven't you?

She raises a challenging eyebrow. The stunned teacher doesn't answer and goes to call on the next student.

SCHOOL COURTYARD

Louise and Louis  sit down in the quiet corner. They are eating a carton of yogurt with gusto.

LOUISE:  Your brother is so amazingly without. He'll never read him. He has no idea.

Louis attacks.

LOUIS: The fact that you're cutting gyn so you can T.A. Sophomore English just to hear his name, is a little without itself if you ask me.

Louis' attention is caught by Harry as he walks by with his friends, lighting up a cigarette. Louise notices his staring.

LOUISE: Who's that?

LOUIS: Harry Styles. Random skid.

LOUISE: That's Haz Styles? The one who was gone for a year? I heard he was doing p*rn movies.

LOUIS: I'm sure he is completely incapable of doing anything that interesting.

LOUISE: He always look so.

LOUIS: Block E?

Louis turns back to face Louise and forces his yogurt into Louise' hand.

LOUIS:  (continuing) Louise, eat. Starving yourself is a very slow way to die.

LOUISE: Just a little.
She eats. Louis sees her wrist.

LOUIS: What's this?

LOUISE: An attempted slit.
Louis stares at her, expressionless.

LOUIS: I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenage obsessions. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy.

LOUISE: But imagine the things he'd say during sex.
Thinks a minute.

LOUIS: Okay, say you do it. You kill yourself, you end up in wherever you end up and he's there. Do you really think he's gonna wanna dace a ninety pound compulsive who failed volleyball.

Louise' attention is struck by Zayn.

ACROSS THE COURTYARD

As Zayn and James parade by Stan and his COHORTS. One of the cohorts elbows Stan.

COHORT: Virgin alert.
Stan looks up and smiles at Zayn.

STAN: Lookin' good, boys.
Zayn smiles his coyest of smiles.

BACK TO LOUIS AND LOUISE Still watching

LOUISE: Tragic.
Doesn't respond.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Niall and Liam observe Stan's leers at Zayn from their bench in another corner. Cowboy's eating cue of a can of beans linger on the grass behind them.

LIAM: why do boys like that always like guys like that?

NIALL: Because they're bred to. Their mothers/fathers liked guys like that, and their grandmothers/grandfathers before them. their gene pool is rarely diluted.

LIAM: He always have that shit-eating grin?

NIALL: Stan Dorsey? Perma-shit-grin. I wish I could say he's a moron, but he's number twelve in class. And a model. Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out.

The BELL, rings, and the cowboys stand and spit into their empty bean cans. Niall and Liam rise as Liam tries to catch a glimpse of Zayn as he walks back inside.

NIALL: (continuing) You know French?

LIAM: Sure do... mom's from Canada.

NIALL: Guess who just signed up for a tutor?

LIAM: You mean I'd get a chance to talk to him?

NIALL: You could consecrate with him, my friend.

Liam watches as Zayn flounces back into the building.

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x_x

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING/ WAS GOOD.