Love & Ruins (#2)

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-One: Maggie

Regret either has a gradual build-up or is instantaneous in its strike, and it would've come quicker had Evan's stamina done the same... but unfortunately (not really) it did not.

To say I was spent the following morning would be an understatement, with the ache between my legs making me wince as I tried to stand up from the warm bed I laid in.

But the strong arms which circled my waist halted me in my tracks, and I turned my head only to be greeted with Evan's face nuzzling the crook of my neck as he slept.

I softened at the sight, faltering in his arms as I recalled the events of last night and all the different sensations that were felt, heard, and tasted all at once.

My cheeks reddened at the thought as I stared at his serene face, different from the one that had perspiration dripping down his forehead as he ravished me with his eyes filled with overwhelming lust and possession.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I turned around and examined him up close. His long eyelashes dropped almost to his cheeks as he took soft inhales of breath, his pink lips formed into an adorable pout and I couldn't help it as I smiled, endeared at how innocent he appeared.

The urge to kiss him stupid took over me and as I was about to lean forward and do just that, I stopped when I realized the implications of my actions - our actions from last night, to be specific. We were driven by years of longing that we let our emotions cloud our judgment, and until now, it's still hard to escape that headspace.

We were so caught up in our desires that we hadn't been thinking clearly. Although I don't want to take away the beauty of what we shared, I can't ignore the fact that our first time doing something so intimate was influenced by our urgency to seize the moment before it's eventually taken away from us... It wasn't done out of genuine togetherness, but rather out of fear that us being together will simply not last.

I closed my eyes, wanting to berate myself for ruining a peaceful moment, but I've experienced far too much of all the good things in my life being taken away from me that indulging in them makes walking away far more painful than it needs to be.

I gently removed Evan's hands from my body as I rolled to the other side of the bed and sat up, covering myself with the duvet as I looked around the room to see where my clothes were-

"... Baby?'

I held tightly onto the blanket wrapped around my torso as I felt Evan stir behind me, his voice groggy but riddled with confusion at the sight of me retreating already.

I refused to meet his eye as he reached out and placed a tentative hand on my arm "Maggie, baby, where are you going?" he asked softly.

I clenched my jaw "Evan, stop this."

His fingers froze from touching me any further, and I took that as my shot to wretch myself away from him as I rose to my feet, still semi-covered as I rummaged around the room in search of that stupid fucking dress-

"Maggie-" I didn't turn around as I continued frantically searching "Maggie!"

"What?!" I snapped, still not stopping until finally, I felt the familiar fabric of my dress brush against my palm as I snatched it off the floor, and beneath it laid my undergarments.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked in a puzzled tone as I hastened to put on my dress.

When I didn't give him an answer, he scoffed and I didn't need to look at him to know his shackles were rising at my tendency to withdraw.