Love & Ruins (#2)

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen: Maggie

Newly developed issues have emerged since the start of our project, both the personal and impersonal kind.

I had assumed that just because Evan greeted me with an air of ambivalence when we talked for the first time during class was that it was going to be a consistent pattern with him addressing me with the same attitude for the duration of our work.

But oh, was I wrong.

I didn't want to go around pointing fingers accusing his stone-cold disposition to be a facade, for all I know his lack of care was his genuine sentiment towards me, despite how much of a hard pill it was to swallow, I had to come to terms with the more realistic option.

That after leaving him, it's only understandable that he'd hold a grudge against me, considering you can always bury the hatchet, but that doesn't mean you can't remember where you had buried it and why. Considering memories don't just die and shrivel up as the autumn leaves do, they can be just as fresh as the first day they were embedded into your subconscious, and if I, said traitor in the situation still has visions of that day as if I'm still reliving it in everyday life, I can only imagine what it must be like for him, but again, I didn't want to be presumptuous.

Even though I've gotten to know Evan like the back of my hand when we were younger, so much can change in recent times and so can his coping mechanisms.

He always liked to dive into his problems head first, not one to shy away from obstacles in order to resolve them, not one to back down from confrontation or prolong issues to give himself time to breathe, it's either he got it over with now rather than later.

That's the Evan that I know, with nothing or no one to hinder his capabilities to move forward to get the problem out of the way, and if there were to be someone, I can only applaud them for penetrating through his resilience like that.

It wouldn't surprise me if it took him at least a few months to move on from me after everything I put him through, as it would only be sensible to discard our experiences as soon as possible, as lamenting over false promises and insubstantial hopes of forever just seemed pointless, especially for two teenagers who didn't know what they wanted and thought running away from uncertainty would be the best course of action.

... So you can only imagine my shock that as the days have progressed and we were forced to cooperate as a team, Evan was just as persistent as I am, if not more, to show how much of a nuisance our class requirement was for him, or more specifically, how bothersome it was that I was involved.

It took me aback, the complete 360 turn of his behavior, and how he went from acting so callously towards me, but with the littlest bit of civility, either way, to suddenly this unrecognizable bundle of passive-aggressiveness that even our peers were caught off guard.

Even his sheer distaste towards me back in the days was no match for this abrupt animosity now, and our rivalry then was intense enough as it is, but who would've thought a bitter ex-lover's wrath burns brighter than a nemesis's?

Maybe it's because there's history involved, a connection that once felt so promising and new, being reduced to the wreckage we now know that's filled with lack of closure and obscurity. Because it was easier to hold grudges when there was only hatred that you can cling onto.

Now, with every word that spills past Evan's mouth, there's a trace of venom that aims to sting where it hurts the most, not out of spite, not out of the intention to hurt to see your opponent wounded, but rather, the kind where bitterness is shown to prove how much the damage that was inflicted destroyed him, and how he just wants me to see it.