𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝟮™

9.

Melani Acacia Marquis

from a young age i had never ever heard or saw my parents cry, in black households it's like a crime.

your always told not to cry in front of your or any children but here i was being comforted by my 3 year old.

he was crying too i felt so bad but i just couldn't help it.

every time i think about the baby my stomach hurts and i just think about how there was a whole human that isn't here.

i couldn't get the thoughts of the crash out my head, the airbag came up so unexpectedly and the coma was scary

and in all that keantae was literally drugged.
he can't remember anything and i feel bad for him.

i need a break.

i took it upon myself to leave, just for a few months Na'von will be fine with the rotation of my parents and Keantae.

i hope he stays out of trouble..

"it's otay mama." he hugs me

"oh Na'von your gonna make me cry more." i wipe my face.

"not cry bigger!"

"mummy's going away for a bit baba."

"me come too?"

"no your gonna stay with daddy." i would bring him but i know how much he depends on his schedule it would've been cruel to take him.

"why?"

"mummy just needs some time, i'll call you and you can tell me about your day everyday till i come home!"i tickle his waist and he giggled

"otay. dada gonna be sad."

"he'll be okay bub."i reassured

he continued to talk with me until i noticed he was nodding off, i lifted him up taking him to the bed and putting the blanket over him.

Keantae was asleep in the bedroom, i ordered my uber and got my suitcases ready.

just a few months.. i can work this all out.

Tarell Keantae Williams
08:20

i'll be back i promise.

is it a regular occurrence we make promises to each other?
it's always "I promise" what if she doesn't come back ?
she just left, how could she leave me like that?
Na'von even.

on cue Na'von came stumbling into the room holding a picture.

"this for mama." he waved it around

"she's gone navz."

"i know, i show her on the phone at one..two..three o'clock she said."he held up three fingers

"she told you?" why would she tell a three year old ?

"very sad. she was crying dada but i show her this picture she be happy!"

"yeah you can show her later. let's go eat." he raised his hand telling me to lift him without speaking.

➪ ➪

"so she said something to everyone but me?" i sighed laying back on the couch as the group sat with me.

"pretty much." lorenzo shrugged

she told LORENZO???
they don't even speak!?

"but why? why'd she go?"

"you know why. she just needed real help you may be able to comfort her but you can't help her grief the way she needs too." Kamiliah said while hugging Na'von who was falling asleep on her chest.

he was patting her breasts through her clothes and sucking his thumb

he knows exactly what he's doing.

"yes i can."

"plus you'd just talk her out of it and you know it."

"bro. i can't even."i shook my head

"when she calls just ask her."

"she didn't tell me either."makel shrugged

"nigga.. you don't even answer the phone ."

we all straight faced him.

"true. still could've told me though."

"oh shush." kam rolled her eyes .

"it's depressing in here let's take the kids out to the park. tomorrow though it's gonna be sunny,
after i do tias hair though."

"her hairs fine." Lorenzo mumbled

"i wanna do something different.. she's tired of that same one anyways."

"i dont know.. yous' can ill pass. jus come get him tomorrow."

"you know hes not gonna wanna go unless you go, we can do a barbecue for them bring drinks and all."

"why are we doing all this after Melani is gone? seems like we're celebrating?"

"we're not, you know we wouldn't have don't this if she was here because you like to be all up under her. everyone needs some chill time."

right.

*End of chapter