Chapter |38| Without Him

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One month later

One month later

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To my love,

God, I didn't think it was possible to love you more and yet as the painful days end, my love for you grows stronger. My hope brightens, and I yearn for the day that I can finally have you in my arms again.

I'm scared, I'm scared of what will happen tomorrow or in a week. I fear I will never get to smell the scent of your coconut shampoo again, or let my eyes gaze over the wonders of your naked body. I want to pleasure you, ravish you, and I hope my absence only causes the anticipation to grow for that night to come.

I do believe I will make it out of here, which means you have to have hope too. I won't allow you to wallow in despair as I'm out here, I need you to take the reigns for me now. I need you to blossom into the leader I always knew you could be.

Xander wrote to me yesterday, highlighting how immensely proud he is of you. I heard Rory was almost at her due date, and with the end of the war nowhere in sight, Wyatt had made me ask you to promise again to hold her hand during the birth.

Keep safe baby, smile and laugh without me. I'll be home soon. All my love, Hardin x

The coffee in my hand sloshed over the edge as I hastily set it down. I pressed a hand to my  lips and then unfolded the letter once more, to read the words again.

These weekly letters were everything to me, especially since Hardin hadn't been in a place with a good signal range. They were our only mode of communication and even though I longed for the day that I could hear his deep soothing voice over the phone, I would treasure the letters he sent with all my heart.

I had carefully stored each one in a little box I kept hidden under my bed. Some nights I would simply spend hours, reading over them all, laughing and crying to myself in the dark.

My bed always felt so empty now. Without Hardin, I was lost. The last time I had spent so many nights alone had been during the competition, but even then I was graced with Hardin presence throughout the day.

"You ready?" I quickly stuffed the letter into the bed, and slid it under the bed using my heel .

Flo eyed me curiously, as she strolled further into the room. Baby Charlie was sleeping soundly in her arms, and I noticed Daniel, lingering out in the halls.

"Is this okay? I had to fire Penny." The fuchsia coloured gown, with a dangerously high slit in the middle wasn't something I would usually wear and yet, I felt an odd urge, compelling my to wear it.

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