Chapter |36| War

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I stood nervously by the door, gnawing on my fingernails

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I stood nervously by the door, gnawing on my fingernails. I knew it was time to tell him, it had to be. Three weeks since the party and still he didn't know.

Hardin strolled in, his shirt unbuttoned and his hair damp. I forced my libido to calm down, as my eyes drunk in his chiseled chest. Abs rippled perfectly, and there was a smatter of dark hair coating his pecks, the same hair I sometimes clung to as he pounded into me.

"I have to tell you something." I blurted out suddenly. Hardin froze and then looked up, I took his hand and led him over to the bed.

"What is it baby?" The concern edged in his voice made the guilt inside of me pool even faster.

"Delphine's pregnant." The emotions in his eyes quickly changed from relief, to happiness, to concern.

"Why were you so hesitant to tell me? I mean baby, you look scared out of your mind."

I stood quickly. "I don't know, I mean I guess I was afraid of..." When I realised I couldn't lie to him again, I decided to just spew out the truth. "What if that was our one chance?"

Turning to him, he narrowed his eyes in confusion. "One chance to what?"

"To have a baby." I whispered with a defeated sigh. "What if there is no more chances? What if I can't get pregnant again?"

Hardin stood slowly and then reached out to grab my hand. "Why the hell would you think that?"

"It's been months, months since we've been having sex again and weeks for actively trying. Delphine went on a honeymoon and got pregnant just like that, what if I can't anymore?"

"The doctor would have informed us if you couldn't, baby." I sighed and walked over to the dresser. My fingers found the photo frame holding the picture of our son, resting peacefully. "There's a chance, he was our last and only baby. There's a chance I could never get pregnant again."

I felt his arms wound themselves around my waist, pulling me in to his warm touch. My eyes feel shut, as one hand pressed firmly against my stomach and his lips scattered kisses across my cheek.

"There's a chance it could be me, there's a chance I could be the infertile one. There's a chance it just hasn't happened yet, there's a chance we will get pregnant, and I know that whatever happens none of it is your fault." His words were always the perfect comfort, his voice forever a melodic sound I would cherish.

"Why hasn't it happened yet? Every month when my period comes, I feel...useless." I quickly turned in his arms, and wiped away one of the stupid tears that fallen down my cheek. "I'm your wife, I was raised to be just that and my duty as your wife is to provide children. It's all I know. This is all I know. Feedings, changings, cradling, swaddling I know it all but I don't have a baby. I need to give you a baby."

His hands quickly cupped my cheeks and I looked up. Immediately, I became entranced but his metallic grey eyes. The same eyes that had witness countless horrors, but a million beautiful things.

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