𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 || 𝐓𝐊 ✔

[P2] Chapter 63 : Tears (II)

June 26, 2019. 

♛

Taehyung never felt more lonely than now. He silently drove to his house, with tears continuously cascading his cheeks. But he didn't dare open his mouth and make a noise. By the time he entered his house, he was surrounded by darkness, as he switched on the lights slowly. One part of him just wanted to disappear in that darkness, as much as he couldn't do it.

Taehyung didn't think of anything else except how it was completely his fault. It was his fault for not trusting Jeongguk, it was his fault that he made Jeongguk lose interest in him.

He went straight to the restroom, to look in the mirror and find the dried tears down his cheeks. At that time, definitely not for the first time, he felt ugly all over again. Taehyung felt like he was finally getting his shit together and slowly getting rid of the useless negative thoughts, but now that Jeongguk ended things with him, it wasn't helping him.

Not that he blamed Jeongguk, though.

If he was Jeongguk, he would leave himself too.

Taehyung flashed a bitter smile to himself through the mirror, as he bent down and rinsed his face with cold water. He didn't even flinch at that, since the only thing he was reacting to was... his erratic heartbeat. His insides felt too heavy, and all he wanted was to stop this pain, stop this heartbreak, stop this disgusting feeling and disappear once and for all.

"Don't let yourself down. Always remember that you are worthy, and the ones who see it, will stay with you till the end."

Taehyung remembered Jiyeon's words once again, but it had no effect on him. The hope he felt when he heard those words for the first time, disappeared now.

Jeongguk left me, and it's all my fault.

Those words were the only ones that were running in his mind now. But for once, he didn't want to break down once again. Taehyung was tired, he was tired of crying every time he was suffering. He wished he could be strong enough to combat things as they came.

Taehyung didn't think anything after washing his face, as he dried it before looking in the mirror once again. For the first time in forever, Taehyung liked his natural face. The one without any makeup.

He smiled slightly, though it seemed a bit bitter on the outside.

Taehyung didn't spend much time in front of the mirror after that, as he went to the kitchen to help himself with some food, since he didn't eat. And that was when it stuck in him, that Jeongguk must've waited for him so long... and he probably didn't have dinner either.

Guilt surfaced once again.

Taehyung looked at the leftover spaghetti once again, before shaking his head slightly and placing it inside the fridge.

I don't deserve to eat.

"I'm sorry, Jeonggukie," he whispered out loud, and he didn't expect for his tears to come rolling down once again, "I-I'm so sorry, my baby... I'm sorry, it's all m-my fault, for-forgive me, please," he muttered to himself in a low voice, which was cracking now and then, as he held onto the refrigerator door and cried for the third time that night. 

Taehyung's cries only got louder after that. He didn't hesitate to grab his phone, before dialing Jimin real quick. His breath quickened slightly, and that was when it dawned in him that he was having an anxiety attack. And at first, Taehyung thought it was stupid. It was stupid how Taehyung was triggered at anything and everything, and he hated himself for it.