Open Heart

Chapter 21: He answered

MY MIND WAS a blur when I arrived at the baby shower. I barely paid attention to the details, but knowing Luna, I knew she had outdone herself with the decoration. I remember almost everyone asking for Samuel and me expertly diverting the question.

Today was Oliver, Dove, and the soon-to-be newest addition to the Joesph's clan big day. There was no way did I intend to be selfish with their time.

My thoughts on everything that led to today's event at Publix's parking lot had slowly started to dissipate the more I fastidiously busied myself with keeping everything exactly where they were supposed to be. It was then and only then did I seem to regain my focus on my surrounding.

Honestly, it felt as though there were a whole lot more people that attended the baby shower for how lively the place was. But in reality, only my parents, my siblings, Dove, and her brother, Raoul, were here. Her other family members could not fly in from California due to Covid.

The ones who wore the #teamgirl t-shirts were dad, Raoul, and Charity. Those for the team boy were mom, Marcus, and me. Oliver, however, wore a t-shirt that said, 'Boy or girl, I can't wait to meet you!"

Blending in beautifully with the theme, Dove wore a white meshed, backless, v-neck dress with sage green two-part plaited flatform sandals. A flower crown adorned her head, and around her belly was a golden, green, and white 'mom-to-be' sash.

I turned to wipe an escaping tear of joy. The pure happiness I felt for her, and my brother was inexplainable. God was over here answering prayers. It may not be at the time we asked for it or how we asked for it, but he answered--always.

Now, I wished that God showed me a sign that he was answering mine. Although I loved Samuel, I needed to know if he was 'the one.' Was the storm we were fighting to overcome worth it?

I wonder if missing him was a sign.

Inattentively slinging the baby doll over my shoulder, I laughed at the thought.

It was a weird thing when you were in love, how you missed your partner. It wasn't even a clingy type of miss. It was like a part of you was missing and functioning without it made everything out of place.

"Ehh, and the baby is dead!" Charity scolded, gently taking the doll from me. "This is practice for when the baby comes, Fa. You shouldn't be careless."

Everyone erupted with laughter, and I wholeheartedly joined them with an exaggerated "Oops." I forgot we were in the middle of a game to see which team could change the baby's diaper the fastest.

"Oops?" Dove questioned, matching Charity's tone. "Fatima Rose Joseph, is that what you will be saying with my child?"

"No, mam," I gulped, walking out backward. "Pregnant women are scary." It wasn't until I was out of the house did I turn around.

"I told you."

I yelped silently at the sound, my hand on my chest. My fear faded at the sight of Samuel. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

He hummed, lending his hand out to me. Without hesitation, I took it. Doing so resulted in his smile as we walked silently around the block. It was weird in a good way that even on our bad terms, our silence wasn't as awkward as I expected it to be.

"I've been thinking that we needed a break," Samuel said with such coolness when we made our way back to the front of my parent's house that I thought my ears had deceived me.

God, is this the sign?

Devastated, I unlinked my arm from his. "Why? Is that what you want? Samuel, you know breaks are never breaks. They're breakups. The end. Period."

"Please allow me to finish."

Sighing, I leaned against his car.

Ok, God. I asked for a sign, so if this is it, I'll be hurt, but I'll listen to you.

"As I said, I was thinking about us taking a break. I also thought about if I could start a relationship with someone else. I can."

Can he? I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else without seeing Samuel's face. I huffed at his calm tone while saying those words.

"Starting over isn't as hard as we think, Fafa. It's not going back that's hard. I can start over, but that'll be a waste of time because it'll always be you, Nke'm. You're my person."

Ohh.

I always like it when he calls me Nke'm. It was Igbo for my own, and right now, it fits so well.

Nervously, I shifted my weight to my other leg. Let him finish, Fatima.

"And amid all my thoughts, your words came back to me about how because of our impatience, we settle for less. You've been patient with me, yet I wondered if, with me, you were settling."

Firmly, I declared, "No, Sam. I'm not." And I wasn't.

It had annoyed me that he seemed so equanimous when I was losing my mind, but Samuel paused. His control shattered before me as he fought to utter his following words. "Do you love him?"

"What? No!"

"Do you like him?"

"No, Sam. It's only you. I'm sorry that I've made you doubt that."

He kicked a pebble before he was seated at the edge of the sidewalk. "It pained me that my best friend broke my trust. And yeah, I get it now that I'm not emotionally mature. I can only really differentiate between when I'm mad and happy, but what I'm 1,000 percent about is that I love you, Fatima, far beyond the physical sense. Like I crave those moments when we're together. But I had to talk about this if we truly were to get back to where we were--no--rather better than where we were."

Samuel got up to walk over to me. "You're wrong on so many levels. Love is enough because I love you enough to be a better version of myself, not only for you but also for myself. Because of love, we want to protect and care for those we love. Because of love, we trust and do what's right for and to the person we love. I love you, N'kem, and I want to do right for and by you."

He then held his hand out. "Hi, I'm Samuel Adedeji Maduka. A Naija-born and bred, realtor and son to a farmer turned businessman. Would you be so kind as to give me a chance?"

At that moment, I felt a peace like never before, almost as if a voice had spoken to me with certainty. I looked over my shoulder and back at Samuel.

This voice with no words wasn't from either of us, and there was no one else around. Samuel's hand was still extended to me with a look of hope that I would accept his proposal of starting on a new leaf.

Clearer this time, I understood that this peace was my answered prayer from God. I smiled, realizing that it was from the deepest part of my subconscious, speaking to me like a message.

"A chance?" I blew my nails, feigning disinterest. "I'd rather decline. I have a boyfriend."

"Must be a lucky man." The crinkle in Samuel's eyes comforted me. Everything was going to be alright after all.

"Honestly, how did I get so lucky?" I pulled on the hand he still had extended to me, and he hugged me tightly. "Come inside. You'll catch a cold. It'll rain any second now."

He rolled me back into his arms.  "Is that a yes?"

I kissed him hard. "What do you think? Now c'mon, mon chéri."

Entering the house with Samuel beside me, I looked up with a secretive smile.

He answered.

🤍 🤍

Translation:

Mon Chéri (French)- My dear