Walk With Me

17. Getting Back Out There

"It's okay," I smile. "I can barely make it out sometimes and I only have one kid to worry about. You have four."

"Precisely why we should be at a bar, not a coffee shop," she smiles.

I slide her the drink she text me as an offering. "How about some caffeine instead?"

She wraps her fingers around the cup, bringing it to her mouth. "I'll settle for this. But next time, we're going somewhere where we can take the edge off. I think we both deserve a little break. Motherhood can be a real bitch sometimes."

I just shake my head with a smile. I've missed her honesty. She never was one to shy away from what was on her mind. I think we all need one of those friends in our life. Someone to call us out and to remind us to live a little.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything," I respond to her comment.

"Oh I don't know about that. What I wouldn't give some days to be sipping on a margarita on the beach or pulling on my size two pre pregnancy jeans," she jokes before shaking her head. "Jeans you clearly still fit into. I'm going to need your secret."

"Again, I only have one kid, and I really like running. You look amazing though. Really," I respond. She claims to have lost her figure, but I think the curves she's gained paints a beautiful picture of motherhood. One that she wears well.

She drops her eyes with a kind yet knowing smile. "I knew I missed you. And you're right, it is amazing being a mom."

"It is," I reiterate. It's honestly the only thing holding me together these days.

"So, how's it going? Where are you living?"

Her question has my safety flares flying through my head. My body begins to stiffen, trying to piece together a story. I'm here for work, Vince had some traveling to do and I thought it would be better to stay with family, we're thinking of moving out here but Vince had to close out some things with work. The list of possibilities goes on. Lying about my family is what I've always done. The thing is, I don't want to do it anymore. I want my cards on the table. I'm tired of hiding.

"Actually, I am with my parents right now. It's just Mia and me," I say, waiting for the look of sympathy. The very one I just want to avoid.

"So, then you're divorced?" she blatantly asks. There's no judgement in her voice, just clarification.

"Um, no. Separated."

"Well, shit. I didn't know," she states. There doesn't seem to be an ounce of pity in her tone. "Do you need a job? Owen is always looking for help at the restaurant, especially with the holidays approaching."

I am about to tell her no when I realize this could be a perfect opportunity for that second job I need. "I actually work at the preschool, but I really could use some part time work on the side. Enough to get Mia and me out of my parents' house."

"Done," she says quickly.

I laugh before adding, "Do you need to talk to Owen? I mean, I wouldn't be available that often. Maybe a couple week nights and a day on the weekend? I don't want to be away from Mia too much since it's just the two of us."

She shakes her head. "No. I do the books and am in charge of hiring, plus, you're my friend. I want to help."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Now," she leans in, a mysterious smile forming on her face now. "The more important question is, are you allowed to date during this separation?"

I slowly nod. That was the agreement. Not that it's what I actually have planned. I am just barely staying afloat on my own. I don't think I need to complicate my life any further with a guy.