I Am Who? - Book 2

Chapter 34 - Blood

Whorls of darkness spun and danced about, clouding my vision. I couldn't feel. Nothing mattered, but I wasn't scared anymore. Deep inside, I was afraid, but the feeling was small and distant as if it weren't really my own at all.

"You should go now." It was my voice, but it felt foreign and wrong.

"Oh, please, Gnat, you wouldn't last long without seeing my face." The voice was tense and wrought with pain.

I felt the tiniest twinge of horror as the darkness receded a bit. There was a blade in my blood-stained hands, and I got the feeling that the blood was not my own, for the sword was pressed against an already bloodied Kotaro's throat. Even as I tried to fight against myself, I applied more pressure, and a drop of blood stained the steel.

No, no, no. This was wrong. This was horribly, horribly wrong. He didn't move away or stop me. He just stared up at me.

"Bree?" His voice was half-broken.

I pulled the sword back and rammed it into his chest. Blood frothed at his lips, and he coughed, but through the pain, there was the hint of a smile in his eyes. Infuriated, I jerked the blade free and prepared to slit his throat.

No! Stop!

"Bree!"

My eyes snapped open, and I gasped for air, sobs choking me and threatening to suffocate me. A hand touched my arm, and I jerked away, hysteria almost overwhelming me. My clothes were sweat-soaked, and my hair was plastered to my skin, but I didn't care.

"Hey, it's okay." Kotaro's voice.

The dream flashed to life again as he spoke, and I began to shake violently, pressing against the bed's headboard to keep as far away from him as possible. I had hurt him. I had been about to kill him. Horror washed over me, and I began rubbing my hands against my damp clothes as if I could remove the stains that were no longer visible.

"Talk to me, Bree." Kotaro said softly, his voice still tinged with sleep.

I drew a deep, shuddering breath and looked at his shadowed figure, silhouetted against the navy sky outside the window. All the things he'd done for me surfaced in my mind, and determination burst through my hysteria. I couldn't let that happen.

Fairly throwing myself out of the bed, I stumbled and collapsed in a pile on the floor, but I crawled to my feet again, scrubbing at the tears soaking my cheeks. If my hands were maimed beyond use, I would never be able to hold that blade, and Kotaro could live. Maybe I could use a rock, or—I could slam them through the window glass.

"Bree, what are you doing?" I could hear Kotaro moving behind me, but my mind was fully focused on the task at hand.

"It's going to be okay." I murmured. "I won't be able to use my hands, and it'll be okay."

"What?" Kotaro said.

I paid him no attention as I neared the window. It wasn't far now, and soon, it wouldn't matter what sort of dreams I had. I would show them only I was master of my fate, and the dreams and visions I had didn't matter in light of that fact.

Clenching my hands into fists, I prepared myself for the pain I was about to experience. It would be nothing compared to what I would feel if I killed Kotaro, though. No pain could compare to that. Drawing my fist back, I prepared to smash it through the glass.

Kotaro's arms banded around me, pulling me away from the window, but I didn't go easily. As the window moved out of my reach, the image of his blood on my hands consumed me, and I kicked and fought against his hold like a wild animal, my sobs resuming in full force. I couldn't let this be the end of it!