Drugstore Perfume [Poetry]

discount apathy

discount apathy

june5twenty21

it starts to become all you know somehow. the despair of it all. they never warned you about the point you reach past suicidal, where the world seems half real and you feel the crumbling reverberate around your skull. you seem more okay. you numb out a little more.

it's a case in point as to why the world is terminal. systems designed for malfunction, ignorance bred in nests and spreading into blood, such an acceptance of annihilation because it looks profitable. I can't even begin to express it. so far past disappointment. so much more exhausted than rage (it's still there, though. it just digs holes).

we are taught to love and hate what is appropriate based on special designations and codes. if your heart longs outside the lines, the floor turns into quicksand, and the borders grow insurmountably tall. the joy of the world has been bottled and sold for the interests of the corporate elite and (supposedly) the "grateful" consumer, thank god we have this structure or there would only be chaos - what if chaos is better?

there is no winning and no way. the suffering seems to always seep through, the indoctrination of it all. we are all so small. this is all so meaningless.

I thought I believed in magic. I thought things were special. for a long time, I tried to find some sort of reasoning behind the constant downward spiral. I've finally found it. how could magic still exist in a world so polluted with doom? discount altars - I'm grieving. what am I grieving for?

there's no use crying anymore, but the tears still silently streak. for a meaningless word, people do seem to put a lot into their martyrs. it's selfish to think I'd be so important, and it's hopeless no matter what, so I'll just drift