Pretty Scars ║DNF

Chapitre 17

Tw: Mention of self harm

"No George wait"

I turn around immediately at the sound of a voice coming out of the door. My heart skips a beat, surprised. I stay there, completely still, fixing the door. Only a white wooden door is separating me from seeing what I fear and love the most.

I walk slowly towards the door, knocking slowly on it again. I try to stay as calm and reassuring as possible.

"Hey...um Dream, I'm still here" I say

My voice sounds more like a whisper than actual talking, but I'm sure he can hear it. No noise is heard from the other side. I walk back a little bit from the door, waiting for him.

The door opens fast as I see Dream standing there. I look at him for a few seconds, but he looks back down, and walks towards his bed. He takes a seat before motioning me to come inside.

I step into the room, only to be greeted by the messiest place ever. Clothes are all over the floor and the bed. Papers and objects are all over the place. The only thing that I can clearly see is the gaming set up in the corner of the room. Dream probably sees me checking out his room.

"Um, sorry for the mess, I kinda" he says, a hand on the back of his neck.

"Don't worry, I don't mind" I respond, taking a seat on the gaming chair. He quickly sits on the bed on the other side of the room.

I look at him for a few seconds, trying to discern any emotions that could come out of this man. The silence is pretty uncomfortable, but I let him talk first.

"Why do you care so much?" he asks out of nowhere.

Is he actually serious?. Out of everything he could say right now, he chooses to question his own worth.

"What do you mean?" I respond, hesitantly.

"I mean that except for Nick, you are really the only person that care for me and my problems"

"Ok, and why should I not care?" I ask softly.

I can clearly see he is getting a little anxious by this conversation. His eyes look around the room over and over, avoiding eye contact.

"I've treated you like absolute shit. I was always hiding and trying to make myself be like a person that I am not. I always wanted you to find me perfect" his voice getting a little angrier.

I take a few seconds to understand the information. Obviously, he was hiding things from me and I know that Dream is not his real name. I always thought that maybe he just always wanted to keep his life more private and not share it with a totally random stranger he met on the beach. My mind never considered the fact that he could be feeling guilty of what he tells me or how he acts around me.

I don't have words to describe how I feel. I always viewed Dream as the perfect looking and perfect life man. All the times I looked at him and asked myself why I couldn't be like him. I feel guilty of that. Am I angry, hurt, or does it just make me want to help him even more?

"Don't worry Dream, I still think you're perf..." I get cut off quickly

"No No, you don't understand" he starts, his voice getting louder, almost screaming at this point. "You have literally no idea who I am. Dream is not me. I absolutely hate who I am. I'm gross and disgusting. I never wanted you to suffer, and so I always tried to make myself look the best and be to you perfect"

I am in absolute shock. I absolutely hate it when people scream and I just cover my ears to try and calm down a little bit. Dream notices, and is even angrier and louder than before.

"Look, now my real self is hurting you" he yells out.

My hands are still on my ears as a quick tear runs down my face.

"Please stop screaming" I say in a soft voice.

Dream turns around, now looking at me. It is almost like he realizes what he is doing to me. I feel a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I feel a soft hand lift my chin up. We make eye contact for a while.

"I'm sorry George, I didn't mean to scream'' he says, pulling me into a hug.

This hug is everything I always needed for the last few days. He tries to pull back, but I hug him harder, not wanting to separate. A last tear falls down my cheek, but it doesn't matter anymore because I feel safe. It feels so warm, and it is like the room is suddenly like a hot day on the beach. My heart beats so fast inside my chest, as I snuggle my face in his hoodie.

After a few minutes, he lifts me up and places me on the bed right next to him. My heart is still beating really fast, and I have trouble saying anything. I just lay back on the bed, getting a confused look from Dream.

"Tell me Dream, who is the real you then" I say looking at him and smiling.

He lays down right next to me, our shoulders almost touching.

"You will regret it, my real self is very boring" he responds.

"Oh come on Dream, I'm sure you are not"

"I'm telling you, you will be disappointed"

"Hugh, just tell me please" I say smiling.

Before he speaks up, I feel a shy pinky brush against my hand. The gentle touch sends shivers down my entire body. After a few seconds, he takes his hand in mine. This feels exactly like the nights we would spend at the beach. I close my eyes a little, to try and picture the both of us laying in the sand. When I open them, Dream is looking at me, already used to this little habit.

" Well, I don't know where to start...

We talk like that for a good hour. He tells me stories about his childhood and how he always hated school and would skip it. We laugh together at so many things. He tells me the first time he ever met Nick and how they immediately got along very well. He told me stuff about how he learned to surf and how he almost drowned once.

I love to hear him be so happy and tell me about everything he loves, but I know his childhood is not all like that. Some parts of his life are very less exciting and probably really rough to talk about. I know that he avoids them on purpose, even though he knows he can't escape the subject.

Our hands are still interlaced together. I let go of his hand which makes Dream let out a heavy breath. I place my hand on his arm, massaging it gently.

"And that, how did you get those"

I can feel his body tense.

Thanks for reading! Have an amazing day, ily.

Rosa <3