The Apocalypse Has Dawned

Chapter 4 10K

That whoever believes in him may have eternal life.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:15-16

I can't help but feel jealous. Is it wrong I feel jealous? Should I feel jealous? I think I have a rift to be jealous, but if she knew that, would she think I liked her? Or would she think I was some confused idiot you can't get a message straight? Or would she think I'm an imaginative creep who has fantasies about her, even though I never do that? Why am I so concerned about what she thinks?
Why am I acting like this?
All it took was one word: Zach. And then she was off, running to her long lost lover. I continued to walk with Lena to the football field, to be welcomed with the sight of them hugging each other like no tomorrow. He was running his hand through her long brown hair, something I had done before he came. When she needed comfort, she came to me for those short weeks, now, she would most likely stay here to be with him. And I would be on my own again.
I'm not sure why I enjoy her presence so much. Maybe it's her humour, that's always a great thing in these times. Maybe it's how she doesn't seem to let anything darken her. Well, at least not in front of me. Maybe it's just her. Or maybe it's the fact that she's there. Ever since he died, Ive had no one with me. But then I found her, and I'm not alone anymore. I just don't know anymore. Everything is so complicated.
Or maybe I just make everything complicated. I can't simply except the fact that she wouldn't even think of liking me as more than a friend or a companion. She likes that Zach guy. I'm pretty sure she just forgot I was there when she ran to him. She ran like I didn't even matter, leaving it so awkward for for Lena and I. We walked in such an awkward silence before we got to the field. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to bring up the topic of the great Zombie Apocalypse, and there was nothing else to say.
But when Rose showed up, I think I may have talked too much.
Rose had the gun I wanted. The gun I have always dreamt of owning. And it was right there in front of me. We both talked so much about weaponry and let me say, she knows her stuff. She's amazing!
But she's not Kat.
"Hey, are you listening?"
I look up, realising Rose had been speaking. "Um... yeah," I respond. "Of course."
"So you're up for it tomorrow, right?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "Because I don't want to have to spend and hour waking you up. It already takes a half an hour to drive to the range.
"Yeah, I'll get up. I'll probably already be awake."
"Good," she says, smiling slightly. She looks at the sun setting behind the mountains, the bright rays shining up into the sky as the moon rises in place. "How'd you come across Kat?"
"I found her battling forty Zs by herself in an overrun grocery store," I respond, gazing at the sunset.
"Sounds like something she would get herself into," sags Rose with a slight chuckle. "She's the most reckless person in the world. Never thinks about her actions."
"According to her, she was with two other people who left her."
"Ah," she says. "And you came here?"
"She said she wanted to get some stuff," I say. "And here we are."
"Are you going to stay?" she asks.
Startled, I look at her. "Kat's going to."
"I know that. You'd have to knock her out and tie her up in a sack before she'd leave Zach again. But are you going to stay?"
"I don't know. I'm not used to being actually safe. I don't think I can get used to it. Plus, this place is going to go down someday. I'd rather not be here when that happens."
"Everyone says that all camps are going to go down. If we're careful about everything, this place will stand until we can get a cure and the world will return to normal."
"Even if the world does return, think of how many houses will have been destroyed and burned. Think of all the confusion. Think of all the purple who've died. Think of the Zs that could've been cured but were killed before they had the chance. Think of the people who had their life cut short to become a Z and then get shot in the head to go to nowhere when they die."
"Please don't go nowhere when they die," she says quietly. "They go to heaven, if they believe."
"I'm not really a believer. I mean, who is these days. The dead are walking and eating people, Rose. How would someone still be able to believe?"
"I do."
"I don't know if I can. It's too late for me anyways."
"You know, God gave His Son so we won't perish. He gave His Son so we could go to heaven, so Jesus died for our sins. He took our place. You should believe. After what He did for us, you should believe." She looks at me, sympathy in her eyes.
"I was just never brought up to believe in that stuff."
"Anyway, do you know if Kat still believes? I wouldn't want her to die knwo ing she stopped believing."
"I honestly don't know."
"I hope she still reads the bible."
"Yeah. Me, too."
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Yay double update!