The Apocalypse Has Dawned

Chapter 2 10K

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
My eyes blink open, trying to adjust to the darkness. I sit up, finding myself in Kat's room. It has been so long since I've slept in a bed. Right now, I'm just thankful for the bed even if it is Kat's. It may sound mean, but I don't even care if I left Kat to sleep on the floor.
Speaking of Kat, where is she?
Her bag and gun is on the floor, but her katana is missing.
"Kat?" I call. I stand up and walk out the door, searching the rooms. Maybe she went outside for some air.
I exit her small home and walk up the streets, slingshot in hand. I risk calling her name again. I turn the corner to find her sitting on the porch of a small house, right next to a dead Z. She staring at it, her hand resting on the arm. She's talking to it as well. As I get closer, I realize it is a child. Blood is everywhere. Fresh blood. All of coming from Kat's wrist.
"I'm sorry, May," she says, stroking its face. "I should have protected you. I should have taken you with me. I shouldn't have left you here. You know, I would've expected you to make it. You were strong, you were smart, you could be here with me, right now. But you're not. It's all because of me." She paused. "Actually, I would say it's your brothers fault. It was Adam's fault. He's the one who dragged me along with him. He's the one who left you with your parents, who were dying, might I add. He's the one who said you would get in the way. And then your parents died. And they took you with them. I'm sorry I listened to them. I'm sorry for everything." She bangs her head. "Why am I apologizing? It's not my fault. Nothing in this world is my fault. The only thing I'm sorry for is choosing your brother. He's a real jackass, you know. Don't know how you lived with him." She carves a cut into her arm. "May," she whispers again. She carves another cut into her arm. "I let myself down. I let Zach down. I let you down." Another cut. "But I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for any of it."
"Kat," I say quietly. "What are you doing?"
She looks upwards, pulling her jacket sleeve down quickly. She tucks her knife away and refuses to look at me.
"Hey," she says quietly, looking down at the Z.
"You were just cutting yourself," I whisper, walking towards her. "Why?"
"Are we asking stupid questions now?" she asks, standing up. "Come on. We should start moving again. Maybe we can find a car." She starts moving back towards be house.
"Give me your dagger," I say, grabbing her arm.
"What?" she says, jerking away from me.
"Give me your dagger," I repeat, trapping her against the wall. "Now."
"I hate to break it to you, tough guy," she snarls, trying to get out of my grip, "but you can't tell me what to do."
"Give it to me," I demand.
"No," she says.
"Fine," I respond. I hold her against the wall with one arm, pinning her arms by her side and pull her knives out of her belt. I tuck them into my own belt.
"How am I supposed to defend myself?" she demands as I walk inside the house. I ignore her, pulling my pack over my shoulder and grabbing my gun.
I grab her pack and throw it to her and shove her gun towards her.
"You're right," I say, avoiding looking at her. "We should find a car and hit the road. Maybe we could go to Utah. Your survivalist neighbours store any gas?"
"Yeah," she snarls. "If we can find a car we can load up the gas."
"Let's find one. I want to be off the road by dark. You know where any cars might be?"
"Well, there are no cars here," she says, "so I would say the next neighbourhood down."
"Let's go," I say, taking off. I hear her footsteps behind me, but I don't look back at her. I can't even look at her. Who does something like that?
Don't get me wrong, I get it. I get that what we're doing isn't living. I get that it's surviving. I get we have to do terrible things. All for survival. But she can check out on me. It's only been two weeks, but I care for her and I want her to make it through this apocalypse alive. Even if I don't.