Dear Helena, I love you

3

⚠️TW suicide attempt and selfharm⚠️

After a few days my arm gets better and my parents are still caring for my sister. I don't get much attention from them which hurts me a little. I sit in my room every day and wait for my mother or father to come into my room and talk to me. Anyways, Collin's birthday is in a few days, so today I decided to ask my parents for 40 pounds to buy him a present.  He'll be 23. In the evening I went down to the living room.

„Mom? Dad? I need 40 Pounds please, I want to buy a birthday gift for Collin." I ask them a little bit shy. My mom turns her head to me „how long do you want us to pay everything for you?!" she said „We can't do this forever, you are 19!!" she said in a loud voice. „your mother is Right,get your fucking ass up and find a job. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I GIVE YOU MY MONEY!!" he shouted at me. I started to cry „I'm trying my best okay?! It's not that easy if you have depression and a Borderline disorder to find a job.." I told him „are you kidding me?! As you can see is your ‚best' NOT ENOUGH!! Don't blame your Depression for anything. Your just lazy and you just don't want to go work!" he said.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks. Why are they so mean to me? My mom comes to me „here just take the money and leave." she said while shaking her head. ‚Yea I leave' I thought.
Before I went out I was cutting myself again, then I went out and walking in the evening, it was already dark. I'm still crying.

I walked about half an hour before I found a restaurant and there was a bridge next to it, I couldn't see any ground under the bridge so it seemed a little deeper. I climbed on the railing of the bridge, my breathing got faster, I cried more histeriously and before I wanted to jump I thought again about my life. I took a deep breath closed my eyes and then...
I heard foot steps and a woman who screams „HEY YOUNG LADY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU GONNA DO"

I was pulled down and fell into two arms, which closed tightly around me and then I screamed „LET ME GO!! LET ME GO NOW!!
I WANTED TO JUMP AND YOU HAVE PREVENTED IT ..WHY? I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE BUT I KNOW THAT I HATE YOU"
I broke down still crying. The person and I sat on the floor the person had one hand still around me and with the other hand stroking my head and cheek „everything will be fine, i'm her" she whispers.

Her voice sounds very familiar. My eyes widened I turned my head to look in her face „H..Helena Bon-Bonham C-Car-Carter?" I stuttered. I feel like I'm dreaming. „Yes, that's me." she said. I give her a weak smile. „What's your name love?" she asked me „my name is y/n.." I said very very shyly „beautiful name, I'm in the restaurant over there with my mother, you come there with me first, then we'll see what we're going to do with you okay?" she asked me. I nodded. Am I still dreaming? Did Helena Bonham Carter really saved me from my suicide attempt?? I'm still under shook. I would really have jumped..

She looked at me and wiped my tears away, my eyes hurt from crying. She took my hand and took me to the restaurant. Helenas mother looked at Helena „Helena where have you been- who is that?"she asked nicely „That's y/n I Saved her from her Suicide attempt, that's why I ran away mom." Helena said. My face got red, why did she told her mom.
„oh, I'm sorry dear, come and sit with us" she said and smiled at me. I sat down next to helena. I just can't believe it, i'm sitting at a table with helena bonham carter. My heart is racing. I'm looking at her, she is so beautiful omg, no wonder why I love her. „Everything okay?" she asked me. I didn't know what to answer so I just looked down „it was a stupid question sorry love." she apologised and put her hand on my thigh. I took a sharp breath as she did this. She looked at me strangely „oh did you, did you cu-" she wanted to ask but I said „yes, but it's okay." I smiled and she smiled too with her hands still on my thigh. I love the feeling of her hand on my skin. It feels so good.

She ordered me a glass of water and a portion of pasta. „Thank you so much miss Bonham Carter but you don't have to" I said „don't worry darling, and call me Helena." she said and winked at me. I blushed a little bit. Helenas mom is looking at me „so y/n how old are you dear?" she asked „I-I'm 19" I answered. Helenas head turned to me quickly, she looked at me startled „you are 19 and tried to ended your life?! What Happened?" she asked „I have Depression and a borderline disorder and in the last few weeks my mom and dad just cared about my sister but I needed them so much because my depression was getting worser again and then we had a big fight today because I don't have a job. But it's not that easy for me to get a job.." i said and my eyes are tearing up again.

„Shhhh please don't cry" Helena said. She hugged me. „With us your safe darling okay." her mother said „thank you so much." I said. Then my food came...

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Yes!! We met Helena Bonham Carter🥲

This is a long chapter lol.