DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 33

"Jennie...? Are you there?"

I stared at Lisa, raising the phone to my ear. "U-uh yeah," I stammered, "just give me one second."

Lisa looked up at me from her seat and asked, "Do you want to take it into the hall?"

I nodded absentmindedly and she spoke again, "Just don't let the door close on the cord."

I walked out into the hallway, letting my body fall back against the wall. I had no idea what to think. A minute ago I had been desperately trying to keep my mind occupied by talking to Jisoo, and now my mind was anything but unoccupied. "I'm here," I spoke into the phone.

"I thought I scared you away," the woman that had labeled herself as Lia's mom answered, sighing a breath of relief. "Have I got the right person?"

"I should hope so," I mumbled, "Because if your Lia isn't the sister that I've been searching for the past few months, I'm going to be pretty let down."

"Oh my god," she breathed, "It's so good to finally talk to you... although certainly not under such unfortunate circumstances..."

"What circumstances?"

"You know, your whole.. situation, with your step-mom and her husband. It's how I found you."

I sighed heavily. Why did everything have to revolve around Charles? "Unfortunate circumstances indeed," I muttered. "I'm sorry, I'm confused. You found me? Have you been looking for me? You're Lia's mom? Does that mean she's adopted too now? Is she—"

The woman chuckled. "Well aren't you cute? I'd love to explain, but I was hoping I could do that in person."

"In p-person?"

"I know me calling out of the blue is kind of a lot to process, and I'm sorry that I haven't had the opportunity to get in touch with you before now, but I thought maybe you'd like to meet your sister."

I swallowed. "Does she.. want to meet me?"

There was a painfully long silence that followed my question. When she finally answered, I found myself feeling quite similarly to when Cate had tried to explain why she kept the truth about my sister from me. "Well, she... she um, she doesn't know that she has a sister."

My voice cracked. "W-what?"

"I know how hard news like this could be— okay well maybe I don't. But I am truly sorry for the way things have worked out. It's just, my husband and I spent ages looking for Lia's sister back when she was only two but she, you, had essentially been, as the adoption agency put it, lost in the system. We just felt that it was better Lia didn't know until we could find you."

Cate leading me to believe that my sister had passed away was terrible, but I was a strong believer of the fact that keeping my entire existence a secret from Lia was much, much worse. The woman spoke again, "Jennie? Are you still there?"

"I'm here," I mumbled. "I'm pissed but I'm here."

"Oh god I know, I'm sorry. Lia deserves to know... and now that I've found you, of course we're going to tell her. She asked Tony and I a while ago why we never considered having another child and the guilt started to set in after that because I know she wishes she had a sibling—"

I braced myself against the wall, cutting her off. "Uh, go back. She asked you why you never considered having another child? Quick question, does she know she's adopted?"
"Yes of course!" she answered quickly. "But... I suppose it is recent news."

"Recent? How recent?"

"She's known for about two months now. I know you must think we're terrible people, it's just, I can imagine the burden you must carry knowing that your parents aren't alive anymore and we didn't want Lia to carry that same burden. We were always going to tell her... and then we kept pushing it and pushing it—"

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" I paused, sighing. "Forgive me if I'm not giving you the best first impression, but I'm a tad fed up with all the lying happening. I've been carrying the burden that my sister died in that fire for the last twelve and a half years, and only recently found out that she's alive. So I'm sure you can understand why I'm upset right now."

"Of course," she responded, "I feel absolutely dreadful. That's why I was so urgent to get in touch with you after I realized who you were.
About a month or so ago I was watching the news and I came across something about your case that caught my eye, and I started to correlate your personal information with the information I was given by the adoption agency about Lia's birth parents and sister, and well, I put two and two together. Just this morning I was able to find out the name of your school."

I found myself growing curious. "What information do you have about my parents?"

"Uh, well," she answered, "Not much. We were told Lia had a step-mom with parental rights but she gave them up almost immediately. Social services obviously had to find homes for both of you and they had to temporarily separate you, but by the time we started the adoption process, it... well it wasn't temporary anymore."

I nodded to myself, swallowing the lump in my throat. I already knew that Cate couldn't adopt me but I hadn't known that she had parental rights to begin with. That meant that my mom and dad had a will when they died and they agreed to put Cate's name in it. Instead of trying to care for Lia and I like they had wanted, Cate had social services take us away.

In a way, I was glad she did such a thing. If she'd have kept parental rights, Lia would have had to face Charles with me instead of having a loving family like she did now.

At the same time, if she'd have kept parental rights, one of the worst things that had ever happened to me would never have happened.

But that would mean I'd never have met Chahee to begin with, and the mere thought of never getting that chance made my heart ache.

The woman continued. "And when we adopted Lia, we were given her original birth certificate, which was salvaged from the house fire—" She stopped herself. "Do you remember that? Ever since we told Kenzie she's adopted, she's been dying to know what happened that night and we don't have very much to give her in those regards."

"I do. I remember the night pretty vividly, but me telling Lia about it would sort of require her knowing that she has a sister."

"I know, I know. I promised myself that the day I got in touch with you, I would tell Lia the truth. That's tonight. Are you interested in being there?"

"Am I interested? I've spent the last couple of months driving myself crazy searching for her, of course I am. But... tonight? I have to work, I can't... I mean where do you even live?"

"We live in Dix Hills, and it's alright, you can pay a visit anytime. Tomorrow, Sunday, whenever you'd like."

"I have no idea where that is."

"Oh, um, New York," she tried, "Long Island more specifically."

"Long Island?" I questioned, feeling my heart fall. "That's got to be like three or four hours from here."

"I know, I'm sorry. We moved into a nicer house right before we adopted Lia. We didn't want to raise a baby in the heart of the  city. The schools around here are amazing and the environment is perfect for her."

I wanted to be happy. Lia had a home, a good, permanent one at that. She had parents that I was sure loved her and was probably a normal teenager, with good friends and stupid worries like whether or not she would get asked to the eighth grade dance.

That was a good thing.

Wasn't it?

"Listen I have to go," I responded. "That's great news though. I'm happy for her. Give me your number and I'll be in touch?"

She agreed and I put her information in my phone, hanging up shortly before the bell rang. My mind was racing. Lia had a family. She didn't know I existed. In her mind, I had absolutely nothing to do with her. In her mind, there was no I.

I didn't know how to take that news.

The bell rang and students flooded out into the hallway. I pushed my way back into Lisa's room, hanging up the phone and lowering myself into one of the seats. After everyone had scurried out the door, Lisa sat on the desk in front of me and looked at me worriedly. "Jen? Is everything okay?"

I answered her, my voice monotone. "Lia was adopted when she was a baby. She didn't find out until two months ago and she doesn't know she has a sister. She lives in Dix Hills on Long Island. It's got great schooling and a perfect environment."

Lisa's face fell as she lowered herself into the seat next to me, leaning in my direction. She searched my eyes and I sighed heavily. "I don't know what to feel."

"A little bit of everything?" she offered. "Did Lia's mom say you could visit her?"

"Yes. Whenever I want. I have to call her back and ask her for the address."

"Well that's good news then, isn't it?"

I looked over at her slowly. "She doesn't know who I am, Lisa."

She nodded, "I know." Then she said, "So then help her get to know you."

I caught her eye. There was something about what she said that spoke to me. Sure Lia didn't know about me yet, but her mom had said that she always wanted a sibling. I didn't have to be upset, I could be happy. Lia hadn't been through the system. She hadn't been through what I had. That was probably the best news I'd gotten in a while and I needed to realize that.

I asked, "Hey what're you doing tomorrow?"

She shook her head. "Uh, nothing, why?"

"Cause I need a ride," I answered.

"I'm going to meet my sister."

****

"So I'm driving, right?"

I grabbed Lisa's keys out of the bowl by the door and smiled at her, dangling them in front of me. She had been more than willing to drive me to my sister's house. Coincidentally, her father's beach house was supposedly only a half hour or so from Dix Hills and she seemed excited by the fact that she could bring me there afterwards. I'd gone back to Lisa's place and looked Dix Hills up yesterday. It only took me a few seconds to realize that Lia's adoptive parents had to be extremely wealthy to live there.

I had a nagging feeling that Lia and I would turn out to be pretty different people.

Lisa took the keys out of my hand and answered me. "You know, I think the one car accident I was in was enough for now, but thanks for offering."

"You don't need to get so dark..." I mumbled, picking up my bag. "I was kidding."

She formed a line with her lips. "It's not dark and I wasn't kidding. You don't know how to drive, Jen. You don't even have your license."

"I can drive," I retorted, following her out of her apartment building. "I drove Charles's mustang once."

She quirked an eyebrow. "He let you do that?"

"No?"

Lisa rolled her eyes, guiding me to her car. "You badass."

"Thanks but you're the true champ, sleeping with your student takes guts."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Funny."

"I know, I'm a catch."

At that, she couldn't resist grinning. "That you are," she responded as she unlocked the car, allowing me to slide into the driver's seat. She put her hand on her hip. "Jen, come on."

"What? Didn't we just decide that I'm driving?"

"Stop prolonging this and move the hell over," she said, trying to feign annoyance but the smirk on her face told me it was fake. She squeezed into the driver's seat with me in an attempt to push me over the console. "Jen."

"I'll move if you give me a kiss."

"We're in public."

"Hardly," I sighed. "There's no one around anyway. One kiss. I'm not moving until I get it."

She pecked my cheek quickly and began pushing me over the console, one of her hands on my lower back and the other near my ass. I fell into the passenger seat, looking over my shoulder at her. She smirked knowingly. "What? It's not like my hands haven't been there before."

"I don't remember inviting you to put them there again."

"Do I really need an invitation?"

"I'd tell you no but my mind clearly wants the answer to be yes, it really enjoys constantly rsvp-ing no."

"Don't do that Jen," she said, lowering her eyes. "C'mon."

"It was a joke," I answered without much enthusiasm. "Thanks for the kiss."

"Yeah sure." She smiled softly as I ran my thumb over the spot on my cheek where her lips had been. She typed the address Lia's mom had given me yesterday night into her phone and started down the road. I spoke after a while, "How come everyone you know owns a beach house?"

"Hardly everyone," she answered, "It's just my dad and June's parents. But I'll tell you, between the two of them, well, three, I never lack somewhere to go during the summer."

"How long have June and Ashley been together?"

"God I don't know..." she trailed off. "Ark's eight, they were married for three years before she was born and they were together for six years before they got married."

My eyes widened. "Seventeen years, damn."

She nodded. "High school sweethearts." She chuckled a bit, "I was eight when she met June."

"She's thirty-four," I said after a moment, mainly to myself.

She smirked, "Gosh you are just so good at math—"

I pushed her shoulder and narrowed my eyes, forcing her to both laugh and scold me. "Jen! Don't do that while I'm driving!"

"Then don't tease me!"

"I wasn't teasing you, I was simply stating facts."

"Uh huh," I muttered. After a few moments, I smirked and spoke up. "We could be high school sweethearts."

She eyed me out of the corner of her eye as her lips curved upward. "You think?"

"Why not? We met in high school."

"I don't think it works quite like that but if we can make it to where June and Ashley are, I think we can call ourselves anything we want to."

I tilted my head. "We'll have to just see then."

She bit the inside of her lip. "I suppose we will."

Lisa continued driving, eventually entering territory I had never been. I didn't mind the long car ride, but only because it meant that I could spend multiple hours watching her out of the corner of my eye. Every time I looked at her I kept replaying that night in my head. I kept replaying her voice as she said, "That was before I fell in love with you." I continued to allow my heart to race out of my chest. I had wanted to say it back to her so badly but something had stopped me. I considered the thought that maybe I wasn't ready, maybe I wasn't there yet, but I didn't think that was true.

How couldn't I be there yet?

Everything about her was absolutely perfect. It was hard for me to understand how, for even a second, I used to think that she was a bitch. She was nothing of the sort. She was easy to talk to and she made me laugh, not to mention she was beautiful and beyond thoughtful. When I really thought about it, she was my favorite person in the world. There was no one that could ever top her, and even as we drove to Dix Hills to meet my sister, I had a feeling that would never change.

I just needed to find the right moment to tell her that, now that I had gone and screwed up my first opportunity.

I looked over at her, seeing that she seemed anxious all of the sudden. "Hey what's wrong?"

She tightened her grip around the steering wheel, exhaling. "Nothing it's just uh... it happened, around here." She sighed, pointing to an apartment outside my window. "My parents lived there. We crashed... a couple streets back."

My features softened and I shifted closer to her. "It's hard to be here? We could've taken a different route—"

"No, i-it's okay, really. I'm fine. It's just weird, I haven't been here in a while."

I nodded. "Does your dad still live there?"

She shook her head. "No... Liam and his girlfriend live there now. My dad let them have it when he bought a house in the mountains about an hour from where we live."

"He's got a lot of houses."

Lisa smiled slightly. "He does indeed. He can, I mean, he was the chief of our town's police department before he retired and my mom was an anesthesiologist for thirty some years before she passed." She chuckled. "They... had a really, really large retirement fund."

"I can imagine. Were you planning on taking me to your private island anytime soon?"

She smiled. "Alright it wasn't that large. Maybe it'd be a little larger if it weren't for the three kids they decided to have. Well, maybe I shouldn't say decided. I was an accident."

I raised my eyebrows. "You're not the third kid though."

She tilted her head. "So? Trust me, they only wanted one. Then I popped out nine years after they thought they were done and they realized they missed having a baby, and thus, Liam is born three years later."

I chuckled a bit and she spoke again, "My dad used to call me their little oops baby."

I couldn't contain my smile. "Accident or not, remind me sometime to thank your dad for creating this wonderful human being next to me."

She let her hair fall around her, but by now I knew that she was trying to hide her blush. She couldn't seem to find anything to say but it was at that moment that we approached the Brooklyn Bridge. "That's incredible..."

She looked at me with confusion. "What is?"

"The bridge," I answered as I rolled down my window. "I guess it's sorta stupid that it fascinates me but I don't think I've ever seen anything like that in person, only on the internet. You'd be surprised how many shitty foster homes they managed to find for me in a ten mile radius. That time you took me to the beach closer to us was the farthest I've ever been from home."

She eyed me for a moment before she tilted her head and smiled slightly. "I think it's... amazing how you can appreciate something like.. like a bridge."

"Don't you think it's cool though?"

She chuckled softly. "Sure it's pretty nice to look at."

Her car slowly moved onto the bridge and I turned to look out the window. "It's pretty nice to be on too. Damn look at that view..."

I turned back to her briefly and she smirked. "Oh I'm looking at it."

I smiled at her and rolled my eyes. "Tell me it wouldn't be like, the perfect place to come at night and clear your head. You could just... look out across the river as cars pass behind you.. and just.. not have to think about anything..." I trailed off. "Maybe that's just me."

She smiled softly. "No I.. see what you're saying."

I looked at her for a few moments before we settled in a comfortable silence. We drove for another hour before Lisa was pulling up in front of the largest estate I'd ever seen. The house was huge and clearly expertly designed, with a large majority of the front of the house framed by windows. Lisa spoke up, "Wow..."

"Wow," I repeated. "This is it. This is where Lia lives."

"I don't know how I've never seen this before, I spend the majority of my summers pretty close to here." She looked at me, turning the engine off and shifting so that she could lightly squeeze my thigh. "You nervous?"

I shook my head. "Not really..."

She nodded. "Do you want me to stay or....? I mean I can't go in... she knows about your case so she's got to know who I am."

I sighed. "I think I'll be okay. Just.. wait around for a couple minutes.. and then if I decide to stay for a while, you can go to your dad's place until I'm done."

"Okay."

I inhaled and then let out a huge breath of air, unbuckling my seatbelt. I looked around before pressing my lips to hers briefly, needing the wordless reassurance that I was constantly able to get from her. I got out of the car and walked a good distance towards the door, taking my time before ringing the doorbell.

I spent what felt like hours wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, until the door opened and a voice filled my ears. "—can't worry about what Zach's doing right now, you know I have too much to think about."

A girl stood in front of me with a phone pressed to her ear. She was a few inches shorter than me but I immediately realized that I was standing in front of my sister. I'd spent the last three years staring at the photo Cate had given me of my family, and I could tell she had my mother's face. Their shared features were almost scarily alike; the girl's baby blue eyes, light brown hair and high cheekbones made it seem as if I was staring back at a woman who was no longer alive. She lowered the phone from her ear and tilted her head at me. "Can I help you with something?"

I tried to speak but nothing came out. After a while of standing there star-struck, I slowly backed down the steps. "Sorry, uh, no. Wrong house."

Lia eyed me strangely before shrugging and going back to her conversation. I found myself back in Lisa's car, breathing heavily and looking down. "As it turns out, I'm a little nervous."

I could feel Lisa's eyes on my back. "Why?"

"What if... we start talking and realize we have absolutely nothing in common? What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't like her? What if the only thing that makes us sisters is the fact that we have the same DNA? Lisa, what if—"

She cut me off, lifting up my chin with her index finger. "What if you have everything in common? What if you get along really well? What if she sees how beautiful of a person you are like I do? What if she's the family you've been yearning for your entire life?"

I let my mouth drop open a little as I stared at her. After a few moments, I got out of the car without saying anything. I knocked on the front door again and when Lia opened it for the second time, I spoke up.

"Hi, Lia? I'm Jen, your sister."

She stared at me, lifting her phone to her ear. "Uh... Faith... I.. I gotta go."

She ended the call and stared at me. "Hi..."

"Hi."

"You're my sister," she stated, wide-eyed.

"I take it your m-mom told you about me."

"Yeah..." she trailed off. "I honestly.. didn't believe it at first. But then she said you were coming to visit me and..." She swallowed. "Here you are."

"Did she tell you anything about me?"

"Um..." She rubbed her neck. "Just that you could tell me about our birth parents. She doesn't really know anything else."

Birth parents.

We had different parents.

A woman approached Lia from behind, placing her hands on her shoulders. "Jennie? Is that you?"

"It's Jen, actually." I extended a hand. "It's nice to meet you in person."

She shook my hand and smiled warmly. "Well come in! Come in!"

I looked back at Lisa to see her gazing in my direction, a faint smile on her face. I nodded, trying to wave to her as Lia's mom ushered me inside. "You have a gorgeous house, Mrs....." I stopped, realizing I didn't know her last name, nor her first for that matter.

"Collins," she finished, "but please, call me Laila. Have a seat."

I reluctantly sat down on their sofa. Lia and her mom sat across from me on the other sofa, looking briefly at each other before back at me. "I'm so glad you could come," Laila said cheerily.

"Yeah.." I rubbed my neck. "I am too."

"Are you.. hungry? Thirsty? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay, actually. Thank you"

"Mom," Lia spoke up, reminding me that I was actually in the same room as my sister. "Do you mind if Jen and I go outside?"

Laila seemed surprised. "O-oh, of course honey, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Lia stood, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck and gesturing towards a door in front of her. I managed a smile as I followed her outside, immediately taking notice to a garden more beautiful than I'd even seen pictures of and a pool to the right of us. Again, I spoke, "Wow..."

Lia slipped her hands into her pockets. "I think it's beautiful too." She sat down on one of swings hanging from the largest tree in her backyard, gesturing to the other.

"I'm sorry, um, I'm not usually this awkward, I just... well yesterday my mom told me that.. I have a sister, and I mean, now you're here. It's just a lot to process."

"Look I get it," I assured her, sitting down. "I.. didn't think you were alive for thirteen years. Imagine how I felt when I realized that wasn't true."

"I don't know if I can." She paused, eyeing me. "I want to know you.. I do, but.. I'm curious about our birth parents. Can you tell me about them?"

I nodded. "I don't know too much but.. I'm sure more than you."

"I don't remember anything."

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you... remember what they were like?"

"Well," I answered, pushing the swing back and forth slightly with my toes. "They were loving parents, I know that much. Our mom—" I stopped myself, biting my cheek. "Uh, birth mom, I guess, was such a sweet woman. My dad, our dad, I mean birth dad—"

Lia chuckled. "It's okay, you don't have to do that. Whatever you want to call them is okay with me."

I nodded. "He made some.. arguably bad choices, but I know he cared so much about us."

Lia sighed. "I feel so terrible.. that... they loved me and I can't remember them at all."

"Don't," I said, "that's not your fault."

"I know... what do you mean by bad choices?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Um, well he was sort of an alcoholic. I don't want to give you a bad opinion of him because he was a great dad, believe me. But... he was probably the cause of the divorce."

"They were divorced? I do know that I was only one when they passed. How does that work...?"

I sighed. "Well now you're really not going to think highly of him."

She gave me an odd look and I elaborated. "He kind of cheated on his second wife with our birth mom and well..."

"Produced me."

"Yeah... but he loved you, he really did. They both did." I smiled slightly. "I did."

Her eyes shifted to mine and she tried to smile too. "So then tell me about you. How's your... life been?"

I realized quickly that she didn't know about Charles and I decided not to mention him. "It's... yeah it's not been... terrible. I mean it's... been hard, I guess. The system isn't very forgiving and I wasn't uh, adopted, until I was almost sixteen. But I'm good now. I have—"
I stopped myself, eyeing her. "You know I gotta ask... you aren't by any chance homophobic are you?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Homophobic?" She laughed. "It's the twenty-first century for god sake. Of course not."

I smiled. "Well that's a relief."

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Um," I squeaked, "not quite what I was going to say... but uh... sure, yeah." I knew we weren't official but if we were normal people we'd have been in a relationship months ago before she confessed that she was in love with me.

She was in love with me.

For some reason, thinking that to myself while sitting next to Lia was the first time I really acknowledged it. I had been thinking about it before in the car but it was just now sinking in.

She was in love with me.

Lia waved a hand in front of my face. "Anybody in there?"

I looked up. "Yeah, wow.. just, processed something for the first time.... sorry."

"It's okay," she chuckled, "what's your girlfriend like?"

I shook my head. "God she's just amazing. I.. I can't imagine life without her." My eyes widened. "Woa, haven't admitted that before."

Lia smiled at me as I blushed to myself. "You light up when you talk about her, you know that?"

"She makes me happy," I stated simply. "And trust me that's pretty hard to do after everything that's gone on in my lifetime."

Her smile faded a bit. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you've been through but I.. I have a friend that was in a few foster homes before her mom got custody back and she said it wasn't a very nice experience."

"Yeah that's one way to put it. Don't be sorry though, there's nothing you could've done about it."

After a few moments of silence, she said, "We could've been adopted together."

My eyes snapped to hers. "Yeah... but... since we weren't, we can still make the most of now, and.. and maybe the future?"

"You'd.. want to see me again?"

I smiled. "Of course I would."

She smiled back. Before I knew it, the afternoon had passed. It was easy to talk to Lia, easier than I expected it to be. We got along really well and she completely wished away my doubts about us being too different of people. I realized quickly that she was pretty mature for her age. We may have been raised differently but she was sweet and the wealth she'd been brought up with clearly hadn't affected her in a bad way. If anything, it had affected her in a good way.

"I don't know what I want to do when I get older but whatever it is, I really want to make sure I'm helping other people. Either with service or through donations. My parents make donations to a lot of different foundations and I just.. I think it's so amazing."

"That really is amazing. It makes me happy to see.. that.."

She tried to help me out. "That I'm not a snotty rich kid?"

I raised my eyebrows. "That is not what I was going to say."

"But you were thinking it."

I tilted my head. "It makes me happy to see that we have more in common than I thought we would."

She smiled. "Me too."

When we had finally gone back inside the house, Lia headed for the bathroom. Laila poked her head in from the kitchen, seeing me sitting on the sofa. "Hey there, where's Kenzie?"

"Bathroom. She should be back soon."

Laila nodded, taking a seat across from me. "Are you.. planning on staying the night?"

"Oh no, I didn't want to impose, I'm going to stay with someone about a half hour from here. I texted her a while ago actually, she should be here soon."

"Oh, okay," she responded. "Listen... I want you to know how sorry I am for kind of... giving up my search for you. If Tony and I hadn't done that, we might've gotten the chance to adopt you before Charles did. We just... we ran out of hope. I'm sorry."

"You have no reason to be sorry. Everything worked out the way that it should've, I think," I said, thinking about Lisa. "Thanks though."

"This is an offer, that... I don't want to scare you with, I just want to put it out there. If.. the court reverses your current adoption and.. you want, it's not too late to be part of our family. You can always see Lia but if you want... I mean, we could help you out with your college fund and—"

I stood up, shaking my head. "I-I couldn't ask you to do that, you don't even know me. But I really appreciate the offer."

"Think about it?"

I sighed, looking down at a text from Lisa letting me know she was here. Lia came back into the room then, eyeing me. "You leaving?"

I nodded. "Yeah... I have to go. But... I'd like to see you again."

She smiled. "Okay, I would too."

I looked at Laila once more before bidding my goodbye to them, making my way into Lisa's car. She immediately spoke up, "Well something's certainly got you in a good mood."

I smiled. "I like her."

Lisa smiled back. "Do you want to tell me what happened in there?"

"When we get to the beach house, sure."

She nodded, pressing the gas pedal. "The nice thing about being here in May is that there's hardly anyone on the beach. It's still kind of cold out."

"Is your dad there?"

"No, he usually doesn't start using it until the end of June."

I nodded in response. Eventually she pulled into a pebbled driveway in front of a house and turned the car off. She made us dinner and we ate by the window as the sun set behind the ocean. It was beautiful to watch and I would've rather been on the beach for it but we'd decided not to leave the house until it was dark and the beach was empty. When we'd finished eating and the sun had set, we made our way outside and down the stairs onto the cold sand.

"Just think," she said, her voice low as we settled into the sand next to each other. "You graduate at the end of this month. And then... we can be that normal couple you seem to want us to be. If you still want that, that is."

"Of course I do," I answered. "I'm counting down the days. But people know who we are Lisa, don't you think somebody will think something doesn't add up right if we go out in public together the day after I graduate?"

"Okay well maybe not the day after," she sighed. "You know what? Let's talk about something else. You're practically glowing and I don't want to mess that up."

I leaned closer to her body as the wind blew past us, sending chills down my body. She wrapped an arm around me and I whispered, "This is the happiest I've ever been."

She looked at me, seeming surprised. She smiled a little. "Really?"

"Really. I don't have so much loss weighing me down and I'm not alone anymore. You have no idea how difficult it is to overcome depression without anyone, so thank you for always being there. It couldn't possibly mean more to me."

"You're very welcome.. but... you told me you weren't depressed. Were you lying to me?"

I shook my head. "No no, I'm not now. I haven't been while I've known you. But there was a time period before we met that I was. I was really depressed and I didn't have anyone, that I could trust or depend on, and it was the worst feeling in the world."

"How long before we met?"

"When I was fifteen... and sixteen... and for a couple months when I was seventeen."

She nodded and searched my eyes. "But you don't feel like that anymore."

I felt myself smiling. "I don't.. and I owe so much of that to you. Finding Lia certainly helped though, and I think what really did the most for me is the fact that I actually believe June is going to win this case and Charles's going to go to prison."

"I believe that too."

I spoke everything I was thinking then. "I have had this feeling of emptiness for a while and... I don't.. I don't feel it anymore. Lia seems like a really good person and she's so easy to talk to, not to mention she's cool with who I am as a person. She seemed genuinely interested when I was telling her about you—"

She raised her eyebrows and stopped me. "You told her about me?"

I blushed. "Well... yeah.."

She smiled. "What did you tell her?"

"O-oh nothing, really, just.. you know.."

"Jen," she chuckled, "c'mon. What'd you tell her?"

I blushed again. "That... that I can't imagine life without you."

She seemed to freeze until she slowly met my eyes, the slightest of smiles creeping onto her face. I shifted in the sand. "Well don't make a big deal about it..."

She laughed. "I'm not, I'm not. Is it allowed to make me happy?"

"Yeah sure," I answered, smiling as she moved, allowing me to wrap my arms around her neck as she hovered over me. And suddenly, in that moment, something shifted. It was as if finally meeting my sister at a time when she could actually talk to me was what I needed to fix me, per se. I was still damaged; my losses hadn't just gone away and I felt them every day, but I was okay. In fact, I was more than just okay and I felt ready to show Lisa that.

"Are you sure your dad isn't planning on showing up?" I whispered.

Her brows furrowed. "Pretty damn sure... why?"

I let my eyes travel across her beautiful face, letting myself briefly get lost in those gorgeous pools of green before pulling her down and crushing our lips together. I sensed surprise and hesitation, but as quickly as it had come, it disappeared. Maybe it was because she felt my desperation for her and didn't want to wait any longer than she had to, or maybe it was because she simply didn't care about what the consequences could be, but any worries that she'd initially had about being in public seemed to fade away.

I pulled back, finding that my smile had resurfaced. I whispered breathlessly, "Do you want to go inside?"

She stared down at me, simply nodding. I shuffled out from under her, slipping my hand into hers and pulling her towards the house. My heart was racing, courtesy of the blonde's touch. Lisa pulled the door shut behind her, surprised to find that when she'd turned back around, my lips had connected with hers. Her back hit the door as she decided what to do with her hands; my desperation was causing me to use force and quicken the pace, but I knew she was worried about triggering me. I grabbed her hands and placed them on my hips, knowing that there wasn't anything either of us could do to ruin this moment.

Quickly, we began shedding layers. By the time we'd crossed the kitchen, I had slipped my sandals off and she'd removed her combat boots, the leather jacket she had warmed up with outside finding its way off her shoulders as well. I pulled my top over my head and found myself reaching for the button of her jeans as we stumbled back, but her hand stopped me. She briefly opened her eyes, cupping my cheek. "I'm not some woman in a bar Jen, you don't need to rush."

I nodded, taking her words into consideration but not finding myself any less eager. We stumbled back into the bedroom, Lisa hitting the bed first as I climbed on top of her, wedging myself between her legs. I couldn't stop myself from reaching for her top but she didn't have any objections as I pulled it over her head. My eyes took in her torso slowly, tracing the outlines of a stomach that she had to be pretty proud of. I pressed my lips to hers once before letting them travel across her neck and down her chest. She muffled the noise that begged to escape from her lips, and it was only when I unhooked her bra and threw it to the side that she couldn't help but voice it.

I had never been nervous before when it came to women, even during my first time, but for some reason, that was changing tonight. My hand trembled with excitement and apprehension as I reached for her jeans, sliding off the bed to pull them off. My heart was beating so loudly that I was convinced Lisa could hear it from her position on the bed. My stomach continued to flip, over and over again as I pulled my own jeans off, gradually exposing my legs as she watched intently from the bed. I couldn't break my gaze from her body. It was absolutely gorgeous and for some reason I didn't really take the time to notice the first time we'd spent the night together.

When I found myself back on top of her, all of my anxiety flooded out the window. My thoughts, much like my anxiety, completely left my head and all I could focus on were the sounds leaving Lisa's mouth, that of which could've been enough alone to pleasure me. There was something about being the sole reason for her complete loss of control that satisfied me. As soon as she had come down from her high, I found myself underneath of her. She controlled her labored breathing, whispering, "Are you okay?"

"I am so much more than okay."

She smiled, and I must've been staring into her emeralds for less than a second before she began to return the favor.

And I swore on my life, the feeling that I got when she did so was one that I had never felt before. Ever. Not only had she surpassed the four other women I'd been with, but she'd surpassed herself. Our first time had been good, great even, but it had been so much different than this. My feelings for her intensified anything physical between us, to the point where I was practically seeing white.

Eventually she fell beside me, watching me release my death grip on the sheets and try to steady my breathing. After a while of silence, she asked, "Remember when I said that Peter was the best I ever had?"


"There's got to be some unspoken rule never to bring up past lovers while you're in bed with someone else."

She chuckled, "You're gunna like hearing this though."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Okay... well yeah, how could I forget that?"

Lisa smiled, bliss evident on her face. "I can't say that anymore."

A grin spread across my face. "Really?"

She kissed me softly, pulling me against her body and smiling. "Really."

That night, I slept better than I had in years.

****

I expected to wake up in Lisa's arms, but I found the other half of the bed empty. My heart nearly fell out of my chest, and I'm sure it would've if I hadn't heard sounds coming from the kitchen. I slid out of bed, pulling on a t-shirt and a slim pair of underwear. I pulled a toothbrush out of my bag and headed to the bathroom before making my way towards the kitchen. There was music playing softly and Lisa was at the stove in shorts and a tank top, her usual, pushing something around in a pan.

She noticed me and her face lit up. "Morning."

"Hey..." I mumbled, groggily running a hand over my face. "Whatya cooking?"

"Eggs.. want some?"

I shook my head. "No but I could really use some coffee."

She nodded, starting a pot as I lifted myself onto the counter next to the stove. I watched her as she swiftly moved around the kitchen, smiling to myself. Somehow she'd gotten cuter overnight. "You're so beautiful," I said suddenly, catching her off guard just as she was turning the stove off.

She blushed. "Someone's happy this morning."

"That I am," I responded as she moved slightly, leaning her body against my legs and placing her hands on my thighs. She spoke, "Do you think anybody would notice if we didn't make it into school on Monday?"

"Well you're the teacher and I'm kind of in the public eye so they just might."

"Damn."

"But listen," I said, smirking. "You're going to have to try and keep it in your pants while you're around me in school."

She rolled her eyes. "I think I'll manage."

"After last night?"

She lifted her eyebrows and plated her eggs. "Hey try not to let what I said get to your head, okay?"

I placed my hand over my heart, gasping. "I would never."

She chuckled and I slid off the counter, letting myself lean against her body as her hands settled on my lower back. The song playing changed and I perked up. "I love this song."

"It's a good one to dance to."

"Oh no I shouldn't do that, the only possible outcome is that you fall deeper in love with me."

She eyed me. "And would that be such a bad thing?"

I watched her for a moment before I smiled. "Well okay but remember, you asked for this." I lifted my arms over my head, swaying my hips back and forth to the music as I moved around the kitchen. Lisa watched me with a growing smile until I reached her again and she pulled me into her. "Damnit I think you were right."

I smiled slightly as she placed her hands on my hips. She swayed with me, slipping her hand into mine and twirling me. She pulled me back into her and my hands landed on her upper arms, both of us staring into each other's eyes. I caught my breath. "Lisa?"

"Hm?"

I chewed on my lower lip. "I'm... sorry that it's taken me so long to tell you this... but I want you to know that I... I—"

The kitchen door swung open, cutting me off. I turned quickly to see Lisa's dad stumbling into the room with a woman, both of them laughing. He kissed her once before he realized they weren't alone and he quickly jumped away, his eyes widening. "D-Lisa! .... and... friend. Jen?"

I looked down at myself, realizing I wasn't wearing any pants and I immediately hid my lower half behind Lisa, peaking over her shoulder. Lisa's voice wavered. "D-Dad? What're you doing here?"

"What're you doing here?"

Lisa exhaled and turned to the woman. "Who.. who the hell are you?"

The woman looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Umm... Roger?"

Lisa's dad sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Bridget... this is my daughter, Lisa."

He took a deep breath. "Lisa, this is my girlfriend, Bridget."