DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 8

For the first time since the start of the school year, I was able to fall asleep and stay asleep for most of the night. Though I wasn't entirely sure what changed, I assumed that the reassurance of obtaining another ID in the near future helped to calm my nerves. Not to mention Charles didn't come home that Sunday, and my eyes surprisingly closed with ease.

I still wasn't in the best condition when I went to school that week; my body was weak, I found it extremely difficult to focus on anything for too long, and I still found myself wanting to shut my eyes. My mind apparently deemed school to be a safe place to go to sleep because I desperately wanted to drift out of consciousness and get some rest, but I had to force myself to stay awake. I dreaded going to work for that exact reason; the grocery store didn't remind me of Charles and therefore I found myself struggling to stay awake while working as well.

For the most part, I stocked new shipments because Dave claimed I wasn't old enough to work as a cashier. I didn't mind and restocking was relatively easy, so I did so everyday until there was nothing left to restock, and then I used the time remaining in my shift to walk around and help anyone shopping. Dave's store wasn't only for food and the rest of the employees seemed to be at the front as cashiers, so I was kept pretty busy.

When I finished restocking on Tuesday and began my walk around the store, all I could think about was Taemin. I wasn't as much focused on the fact that he had yet to make it to the school to give me my ID, but rather, I couldn't distract my thoughts from his well-being. He was the closest I'd ever had to a friend, and I would almost go as far as saying that he was the brother I never had. We only spent two months together in Chaerin's home, but I saw him frequently while I was living in my last group home and we had developed a relationship over the years. I hadn't seen him in such a long time before I went to visit him on Sunday, and my heart was torn on whether or not to be happy or sad.

On the bright side, he had filled into his body and he looked healthy, but I knew he was still going through hell. His group home wasn't the worst that he could've possibly been placed in, but the boys there used violence as a fear tactic on more than one occasion. I knew Taemin was trying to cycle his way out of illegal activity, but I was a little scared that he would do something that he'd regret. I didn't exactly know the extent of his relationship with the boy Mino, but I could immediately tell that Taemin needed to protect him, for the boy seemed too scrawny to protect himself.

Thinking about what Taemin had discussed with me that night only seemed to put a damper on my mood, and as I made my way around the store, I tried to push him out of my mind. I knew that at that moment in time, there was nothing I could do, and he was certainly capable of taking care of himself. I had no reason to worry, so instead, I emptied my mind and continued walking until I saw quite a familiar face in the clothing section. I couldn't even remember the last time I smiled when someone was trying to make me smile, let alone smile unintentionally, so when the corners of my mouth twitched upwards, I was genuinely surprised. I found it just a little funny that she shopped on a schedule- almost every Tuesday at around eight.

I noticed her lifting herself up on her heels, reaching for the top hook that she surprisingly couldn't get to. She was tall but it seemed just out of her reach, and because I knew I wouldn't be of much help with my hands alone, I grabbed the garment hook hiding in the dressing room. I finally made it to where Ms. Manoban was standing and reached above her, pushing the hanger she seemed to be getting at into the hook.

She turned to me with a frown and I had to smirk at the fact that she seemed off-put by my helping her. "I had it, Jennie."

I shifted on my feet, lowering the hook and handing her the small piece of fabric. "I'm sure you did Ms. Manoban.. maybe if you were just a few inches taller."

She folded her arms over her chest. "If I got any taller, you would have to look up at a ninety degree angle. Might hurt your neck, don't you think?"

"I thought only math teachers were boring enough to make geometry references outside of school. It's you too?"

Rolling her eyes, she put the shirt in her cart and smirked, not so subtly shifting our conversation to our night together in the hotel. "I'm pretty sure you of all people know that I'm not exactly a boring person."

"Why do you tell me not to bring up that night, yet you do almost every day?"

She just shook her head, "I have no idea what you're talking about." She paused then, seeming to hold a lot of reluctance before speaking again. "Do you mind.. getting that for me?"

"You really dislike asking for help, don't you?"

She sighed and shrugged, so I complied and retrieved the dress she had nodded her head to. I handed it to her and gestured to the toddler clothes in her cart, "I don't mean to be rude, but something tells me you might not fit into these."

"Are you calling me fat?"

I cocked my head, "Really? You are anything but that, Ms. Manoban."

She smirked, "You flatter me."

"Have you lied to me Ms. Manoban? I thought that was my thing. You're a mother?"

"Do I look or seem at all like a mother? I've told you once and I'll tell you again, the thought of having kids nauseates me."

I knew I should have been getting back to work, but for some reason I found myself actually wanting to stay. I can't say that I enjoyed the company of many people, and even if I did, I usually didn't talk to them. "Do you by any chance like to play dress up with American girl dolls?"

"I have a niece, Jennie, but good guess. You should really be getting back to work."

I nodded, "I should be. Then again, no one around appears to need help so I have the time."

I took her silence as an opportunity to let my eyes wander. Though she may not have allowed herself the chance to look at me like she had been on that, for lack of a better word, interesting summer's night, I certainly didn't mind letting my eyes rest on her. It seemed that as time progressed, her appearance on that night became blurrier in my mind. It was hazy from the get-go, most likely because of the amount of alcohol I had consumed, but now I could hardly remember any of the finer details. All I could do was settle my eyes on her long, toned calves that although seemed muscular, still allowed her that sense of femininity that some women lacked, and day-dream about what she looked like under her usual blouse and miniskirt.

I was leaning against a shirt rack close to her when she glanced at me, catching me staring. I was never one to blush, at least not very easily, so I simply waited for her to either tell me to walk away or spark a brief conversation with me. I preferred the latter.

She shook her head at me, forcing away the knowing smirk on her face. "Something catching your eye, Jennie?"

"I suppose I would be lying if I said you didn't."

The blonde bit her cheek, and though she probably could've appeared happier, she also didn't seem completely appalled by my comment. She let out a short breath, something in between a laugh and a sigh. "You know, I admittedly can't say that I mind very much, but you don't really seem to grasp that there's a line between me as your teacher and you as my student."

"Well when we've already crossed that line, I really don't see the point in paying any attention to its existence, do you?"

I was shamelessly flirting with her, not that she minded, but I seemed to surprise myself because I couldn't remember flirting with anyone in the past couple of years. This woman had gotten me to both smile and flirt, two things that I hadn't done in ages, without even trying, and it was beginning to tick me off. What was it about her, of all people? I wasn't a happy person, so for me to smile was big, and usually it took a tremendous amount of effort. I hadn't even genuinely smiled at Jisoo yet, and I actually did enjoy being around her. As for the flirting, I truly believed that the only reason my mind was telling me it was okay was because she was my teacher and she would never let herself get close to me, therefore I would never have to worry about a certain someone hurting her.

She shook her head, "I do Jennie, that line is very visible in my mind, so please do not flirt with me. One of these days, you're going to get me into serious trouble."

I nodded. "Fair enough, I'll keep my comments to myself, as long as you do the same."

"I don't remember flirting with you?"

My facial expression mimicked hers, "Really? 'Something catch your eye?'" I mocked. "You were practically asking for it."

She stayed silent for a while, before speaking up. "If you say so."

I pulled my cellphone out of the pocket in my tan jeans and checked the time. Seeing that it was eight fifty-five, I decided I would bid my farewell. "Well as fun as this has been, I must be going now. Not even you can get me to stay a minute past my shift."

She let a faint smile play on her lips, but she seemed slightly put off at the same time. I was genuinely surprised by her nonchalant behavior because I wasn't picking up on any of the strictness that she usually gave people at school. "What did we just talk about?"

I went over my last comment in my mind and shrugged. "Sorry, that one just slipped. Have a good night, Ms. Manoban."

She stayed silent for a while, but as I was turning to go, she brushed the streaks of blonde hair out of her face and pulled her lips into a thin line. There was the tiniest hint of a smile on her face. "You too Jennie."

With that, I turned and made my way through the grocery store. I picked up my sweatshirt from Dave's room in the back and then walked to the front, starting my long walk home. Shoving my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt, I couldn't help but think about a certain blonde who just so happened to teach biology. My conversations with her never seemed to require much thought on my end, and although I can't say our conversations had been very light per say, they always flowed quite easily.

The minute I made it in front of my house, the thought of her seemed to completely flood from my mind. I knew something was off almost immediately and I wasn't sure why. An eerie silence stretched over my street, at least on the outside of each home, and I tried to ease my worry when I saw the door already unlocked. I gripped the handle and pushed it open slowly, hearing quiet sobs from my right almost immediately. I knew they weren't coming from Charles, leaving me to assume it could only be Cate.

I rounded the corner to see Cate shrinking back toward the wall while Charles followed, and I could already tell he was drunk. It was pretty safe to assume that he was always running on alcohol, but the fact that he reached forward and grabbed Cate, his wife, told me that he was intoxicated to a point that I didn't think he had yet reached in his lifetime. Cate's eyes held a considerable amount of fear, that much was evident, and she was voicing something between a sob, a shaky plea to stop, and an apology.

I immediately ran forward, and because Cate had pulled him off of me not long ago, I felt that I owed it to her to intervene. "Hey you filthy piece of shit," I growled, kicking his leg in a way that made his knees buckle. "Get the fuck off of her!"

Charles immediately whipped around and grabbed me by my shirt, pushing me up the wall. "Don't fucking touch me, Jennie. This has nothing to fucking do with you."

"It fucking does when you're putting your hands on someone that I care about," I spat back, suddenly gaining the strength to kick forward and push him off of me. He wasn't angry at me tonight so he didn't bother resisting, but with every word, I ran the risk of making him angry. "Are you really going to hurt the one person who is crazy enough to put up with your shit?"

He started toward me but Cate reached a trembling hand forward and wrapped it around his wrist, stopping him. He pulled out of her grasp but turned to her instead, "Stop fucking crying Cate, you deserve this. Who the fuck do you think you are throwing out all of my god damn alcohol? I spent good fucking money on that!"

I shifted my stance and my jaw dropped in shock. Cate took my advice? Was she trying to force him to get sober because of what I said? I glanced at her to see her eyes already on me, and I could see the terror and desperation on her face. Charles had never laid a hand on her before, he had me for that, and this was something she wasn't used to. I wasn't sure what he had done to her before I arrived, but seeing her already broken expression, I knew it wouldn't take much to do both physical and mental damage on her. She loved Charles, and she wasn't going to stop him from touching her, so I had to take matters into my own hands. I had been through it before and I could do it again. After all, I had a bit more tolerance for such a thing than she did. Cate's only real struggle in life was staying away from alcohol, and she'd never been hit by anyone as far as I knew. That didn't need to change.

"Hey, get your fucking hands off of her! I... I did it, okay? I threw out your alcohol."

He slowly turned around, releasing Cate so that she fell onto the floor and growling at me. "Excuse me?"

I looked into Charles wine refrigerator to see it empty, the beers that had been there before, gone. "It was me... your beer, your tequila, your whiskey, your vodka. I got rid of it all, not Cate."

He shook his head, his body beginning to tremble in anger. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Jen stop-"

"Shut the hell up Cate," I whispered, and when Charles stomped towards me and pushed me against the wall, she scrambled to her feet and reached for the phone. I honestly doubted she would call the police, mainly because I knew she loved him too much to send him to jail and also because she respected my wish to keep this from my social worker. But the look in her eyes made me worry slightly, and as Charles forced himself on top of me, I shook my head at her. My eyes told her no and she was too scared to refuse. "Go to your bedroom. Now," I whispered. She was too innocent in all of this, and I was too, but I could at least handle Charles behavior. Cate couldn't, and she didn't need to add to his victim list. "Go."

Her tears continued to fall but she put the phone down and wiped them away, never breaking eye contact with me as she debated whether or not to go. Finally when she saw that my expression wasn't wavering, she entered her room and shut the door reluctantly. I turned back to Charles, the scowl on his face evident.

"You have one chance to tell me why the fuck you would even think about touching my alcohol, and I swear to god Jen, if you don't make this good..."

I couldn't think of anything that would make him happy, so I tried pushing him off but he didn't budge. He slammed my wrists back against the wall and growled, and I shut my eyes. "I was looking out for my mother," I said, playing on the fact that he seemed to enjoy when I referred to her as my mother over her first name. "The alcohol is tempting to her and you know how hard she's working to stay away from it."

I assumed that there wasn't anything I could've said to ease his rage, because my words just made him angrier. "Well it was fucking mine, I spent a fucking fortune on all of it, and you had no god damn right to touch it."

He pushed against me and I tried to wriggle out of his grasp or move my feet to kick him, but he had me pinned against the wall. I knew what was coming next, and I really didn't see a way out of it. I brought it upon myself by defending Cate, but I wouldn't have went back and changed my actions even if I could have.

He pulled his fist back but I moved my head just in time, spitting at him. "Fucking idiot, do you want to go to jail? Not the fucking face.."

His drunken mind seemed to completely forget that what he was doing was something called child abuse, illegal, and could quite possibly send him to jail if I had the right proof. But when I spoke, he seemed to snap back to reality and refocus his attention elsewhere. I was thankful that he only seemed angry tonight, not at all looking for anything more than violence.

I braced myself for the pain, which inevitably came, but I repeatedly told myself that I could handle it.

It was better me than Cate.

***

The nights that Charles laid his hands on me usually always ended precisely the same way. He would drop me to the ground, wiping blood on his shirt without any remorse. Usually I wasn't able to tell if the blood was mine or his, because my head was usually spinning, my vision blurry. My impaired vision and feeling of nausea usually disappeared in the morning though, but this time it didn't.

I was beyond thankful that Charles wasn't home the next day. I skipped school, which I knew would start to become a problem if I let Charles continue to beat me this bad on school nights. Last year hadn't been so bad, compared to this, because he had only consumed ridiculous amounts of alcohol on Fridays and Saturdays. It seemed as though his addiction had intensified since then, and I wasn't sure how long I could keep going like this. I knew that I was mentally strong enough to endure his beatings on a daily basis, but accounting for the fact that I was getting little to no sleep and the physical condition that he left me in every night was awful, I was starting to get worried.

It was hard to get out of bed on Thursday morning, but I knew that I only had a maximum of ten or so days of absence before it would become a problem, as in, I would have to go to summer school or be held back. Charles had strayed from damaging my face this time so I didn't have to worry about anyone at school questioning me, but I was almost certain that I had a concussion. I vaguely remembered him banging my head against the wall two nights before, and my constant nausea and dizziness only confirmed it.

Walking to school was a challenge, mainly because I could only focus on the pain in my stomach and the ringing in my ears. My English class passed without anyone batting an eye at me, but Jisoo seemed to know that something was wrong in art.

"Hey Jen, where were you yesterday?"

"Uh... sick, I had a fever. Nothing serious though," I answered.

"Are you okay? Maybe you should have stayed home today too.. you don't look so great."

"Gee thanks.." I muttered, rubbing my forehead. "That's really reassuring.."

"I'm sorry I.. I just mean you should've stayed home and gotten some rest, I didn't mean-"

I shook my head, desperate for her to stop talking because it was beginning to make my head hurt. "It's okay Jisoo, you're right, I probably should have. Thank you."

When I didn't speak again, Jisoo got the point and refrained from sparking up a conversation with me. We silently walked to third period together and I saw Ms. Manoban standing at the door, her hands behind her back and her legs crossed. We walked into the classroom without her giving us a second glance, and I tried my best to figure her out. She was stern in the classroom and didn't put up with anything even close to bullshit, but out of school, she seemed to have a more light-hearted attitude, playful even. I couldn't for the life of me understand it. I knew that teachers were generally different in and out of school, but not to that extent, not two totally different people.

I stayed quiet for the rest of the day, and Jisoo reassured her friends that I was just having an off day. When the last bell rang, I was just about ready to bolt out of the school's front doors when I remembered that I had detention. At that moment, I honestly would have preferred to do anything else than change the bulletin board with Ms. Manoban. My nausea hadn't gone away and I stumbled when I walked. I did not need her noticing and trying to figure out what was wrong.

I reluctantly pulled the door open to her classroom to see her shuffling through papers. She looked up at me and pulled her lips into a thin line. "Jennie."

"Hi."

"Come on, Principal Yang wants the boards at the back of the school done too so we have to move quickly."

I internally sighed, following her out of the door. "Tell me you're at least getting payed extra for staying overtime to do the work he doesn't want to do himself."

"Unfortunately not."

"Don't you think you should be?"

She stayed silent for a few moments, leading me to the back of the school where the less important information was posted. Then she spoke, "It would be ideal, but it's not my choice."

I shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling dizzy but managing to keep myself upright. We finally made it to the back of the school and I realized that these boards were all higher off the ground, and there was a ladder next to them.

"They're so sweet, they have us all set up here and everything."

She smirked slightly, though it was so minuscule that I wasn't even sure I could consider it that much. "They are, aren't they? So I suppose you'll climb the ladder and I'll hand you the material..."

I tilted my head, "Um, how about you climb the ladder and I'll hand you the material?"

"So you can stare at my ass for an hour? No thank you, and keep in mind I am technically the boss of you. Scurry on up."

I scoffed, "What makes you think I would want to stare at your ass? I've seen it once, believe me, once was plenty."

She didn't seem at all negatively affected by my response, and instead, she smirked. "You want to know how I know you're lying?"

I challenged her, "How?"

"You were staring at my ass yesterday, and I say that with absolutely no doubt in my mind."

I crossed my arms, obviously not happy that she had rendered me mute. I didn't have a response to her comment so I stayed silent, but she gave me an expecting look. "Let's go Jennie, we don't have all day."

"I promise to keep my eyes elsewhere," I said, stepping away from the ladder. I knew that being elevated off of the ground while I was still receiving frequent dizzy spells did not make for a good combination. "But I'd much rather stay on the ground."

"As would I, and I'm in heels."

"So take them off," I dead-panned.

She seemed to be growing frustrated, as the smirk had dropped from her face. "Okay, I'll try a different approach. You are in detention and you'll climb the damn ladder unless you want to pay a visit to Principal Yang again."

I groaned, making sure that I stabilized myself and my dizziness before putting one foot on the ladder. "Whatever."

She didn't smile, but I could tell that she wanted to. She had the upper hand, because the truth was, she was the boss of me. I spoke up, "This is ridiculous, why are we putting announcements on a board seven feet off the ground?"

"We're not, he wants the pictures from last year's spring sports posted here."

"Oh." I decided to stop complaining after that, because although I would have preferred to sit in a desk in silence for an hour, this honestly wasn't so bad either. I made it to the top step on the ladder and reached up, pinning the first picture that she handed me to the board. I felt a sudden wave of nausea and I swayed a bit on the ladder, putting my hand to my forehead.

Ms. Manoban took notice immediately. "Are you alright?"

I shook off the dizziness, silently begging my body to get its shit together. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just lost my footing for a second there."

She furrowed her eyebrows in doubt but stayed silent, handing me the next picture. I thought about last week and how she had seemed annoyed, as opposed to today, where although she wasn't exactly happy, she seemed to be less bothered by talking to me.
"Can I ask you a question?"

Her body leaned against the table and she looked up at me, handing me one of the largest pictures. "I'd rather you not, but I suppose if you have to."

"Why do you act like such a bitch in school but then you go and act like you did Tuesday night?"

"Excuse me?"

I bit my cheek, trying to re-word my question. "I don't mean it in a hateful way, I'm just saying... you're so.. strict all of the time, and you don't come off as a very nice person, but then outside of school you're entirely different.."

She shook her head, "I really don't know what you mean."

I lowered my eyes at her. "Come on, you know exactly what I'm talking about Ms. Manoban."

She handed me a photo, sighing. "You know what? I'll be completely honest with you. I don't care about what the students here think of me and being strict makes my job a hell of a lot easier because people actually listen."

"Yeah because you can be pretty damn intimidating... people will listen either way, wouldn't you rather students like you?"

She shook her head at me, "I think you and I both know that most of the seniors in this school do not listen unless they aren't given a choice. I do not enjoy letting people walk all over me and I told you that, no, I really don't care how they view me."

"Why not?"

The blonde sighed, looking away from me. "You ask a lot of questions."

"I'm a curious person."

She handed me a photo, raising an eyebrow. "Haven't you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?"

I shrugged, "Cats have nine lives."

"Yeah well, I'm pretty sure you've asked me more than nine questions by now."

"Touché," I responded, letting my voice die. I didn't want us to fall into silence but talking was beginning to make my head hurt and I also didn't really want to continue pushing her. After the first ten minutes, we were done with the first board, and I quickly moved the ladder to the second. My nausea came back as I was climbing to the top and I nearly fell back, but I felt Ms. Manoban's hand on my lower back, supporting me.

"Uh... thanks.." I forced out of my mouth, admittedly a little uncomfortable. It wasn't because I didn't want her hand there to prevent me from falling, but rather, her hand pressed against my body made me grow nervous. I couldn't understand how I'd actually made it through a night of her lips on my bare skin, when simply her hand against my clothed lower back was driving me insane.

She simply nodded, pushing me back towards the ladder and taking it upon herself to assume that I'd missed the step again. "You really are clumsy."

I smiled tightly, "Well I wasn't lying about that, Ms. Manoban, though I know I am pretty hard to trust.."

Deciding that my comment was sarcastic, she answered, "Well my first impression of you turned out to be a lie, so excuse me if the things you say are sometimes a little hard to believe."

I shrugged, leaning against the ladder. "I really don't blame you."

She looked up at me with a look I couldn't quite place, and I had a hard time maintaining eye contact with her, so I adverted my eyes. I noticed the principal walking towards us, and I had to smirk. "Someone came to pay you a visit."

Ms. Manoban turned to see Principal Yang walking down the hallway towards us, his smile directed towards her. "Ladies," he said, his focus never straying from the blonde beside me, "How is the decorating coming along?"

"Fantastic," I muttered under my breath just so that he couldn't hear me. Ms. Manoban did however, and I think it caused her to smirk.

"We're doing good Yang. Are you checking up on us for any reason in particular or.. just to say hi?"

He shifted his stance, looking anxious. "Actually, if we could speak in private..?"

She nodded and followed the principal a little ways away, and though I couldn't hear very much of their conversation, I still heard, "come with..." and "it'll be fun."

I absolutely had to laugh, though I made sure that I did so quietly.

Ms. Manoban nodded, plastering a fake smile on her face as he walked away. The minute he'd turned down another corridor, she sighed and made her way over to me. I smirked, enjoying this all too much. There were way too many things that I could tease her about.

"Do you normally acknowledge him with just his last name?"

She looked at me confused for a minute, before shaking her head. "Yang is his first name."

My smile grew, and I burst out laughing. "His parents named him Yang Yang ?"

For a minute, she just raised her eyebrow and watched me laugh. I couldn't not find it funny no matter how hard I tried, but after a few moments, she smiled and let out a short laugh as well. Mind you, this woman hadn't smiled at anyone in the few weeks that I'd known her. She hadn't exactly smiled that night at the bar, not in school, and not at the grocery store. But as I leaned against the ladder and tried to muffle my laughter, she couldn't resist smiling back at me. I had to admit, I definitely preferred this look over her usual expression.

"Yes, it appears that they did."

"Did you just realize that now?"

She shook her head, smirking. "No, I guess I knew that, but I can't say that I found humor in it until you pointed it out."

I laughed once more, finally calming myself. "His parents have a brilliant sense of humor."

"You think?"

I just nodded, turning my body and reaching for the next photo. I felt dizzy but it wasn't enough to make me waver on the ladder, and thankfully, she didn't notice. "So he just asked you out, does he know you're a lesbian?"

The smirk all but dropped from her face, and she shook her head at me. "First of all, he didn't ask me out. Second of all, I'm not a lesbian, so don't assume."

"What are you?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Not that it pertains to you in even the slightest bit, Jennie, but I choose not to label myself."

I opened my mouth slightly, nodding. "Ah."

"Ah?" she mimicked, raising her eyebrows. "Why do you say it like that?"

I shook my head at her. "No reason. Anyway, it sure sounded like he asked you out."

"Not that it's any of your business, again, but he asked me to come with him and a few other teachers to an event. He does not have a crush on me."

I smirked, "Denial, denial, denial. It doesn't really get you anywhere, Ms. Manoban."

She groaned, handing me a picture. When I glanced at her again, she was looking down and her hair was falling around her face, but there was the smallest of smiles on her face again. She looked up at me to catch me staring, and I bit the inside of my cheek but refused to look away.

"Thank you."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "For what?"

She stayed silent for a few moments, but then she refocused her attention to me. "I don't really smile very often, as I'm sure you can tell. In fact, I don't even remember the last time anyone has gotten me to truly laugh, so.. thank you."

I stared at her for a while, before finally nodding. It seemed that she wanted to fall into silence then, but I thought back to the first day of school and I realized that there was something I had yet to do. "I'm really sorry."

It was her turn to look up at me, confused. "For what?"

"I'm sorry for lying to you. I just realized that I never actually apologized for telling you that I was twenty-one... usually when I sleep with older women.. they never see me again and therefore never realize that they slept with a minor."

She stayed silent for a while, thinking, which she seemed to do quite often. "I can't say that I've completely forgiven you, but thank you for apologizing."

I nodded in response and turned back to the board. She spoke up again, "Usually? And how often do you lie to older women to get them to sleep with you?"

I shook my head, "Not often..."

Her mood seemed to shift as she turned away from me. "Right," she answered doubtfully.

And with that, we seemed to fall into a silence that neither one of us wanted to break this time. She quietly handed me pictures and I posted them on the board, managing to keep my nausea under wraps for the remainder of the hour.

And then, just when I thought that I would be able to go to work without her noticing that something was wrong, the school bell rang. It wasn't any different than it had been all day, but it caused my ears to start ringing and I was hit with a wave of nausea too powerful to ignore. I briefly lost consciousness, which caused me to confirm that I actually did have a concussion, and I felt myself falling from the ladder. The ringing in my ears stopped but my head was still spinning. I expected to hit the ground but I felt the soft impact of my body falling into another person's arms. With the way she had caught me, my shirt rode up and I felt her hand on my bare stomach, causing me to inhale sharply. At first I could only pay attention to the way that she left my skin burning by simply touching it, but then I realized her hand was on my stomach. My bruised stomach.

I instantly pulled myself out of her arms and tried to steady myself, hoping that she hadn't been looking at my exposed skin. When I turned to catch her eye though, I knew I was in for it. She had something between a horrified and confused expression on her face and her eyes were still focused on my stomach, though my shirt had fallen back down to where it should've been in the first place.

"Jennie..."

I didn't want to give her the chance to talk to me, mainly because I knew I wouldn't be able to lie myself out of this one. I grabbed my bag and fought through my dizziness, shaking my head. "Oh look, the hour's over. I have to go Ms. Manoban, I'll see you tomorrow."

I turned to go but I felt her hand gripping my wrist, and she pulled me back towards her. When she spoke again, her voice was hard and forceful. "Like hell I'm letting you walk away after that. Jennie.. your stomach.."

I tried to pull away from her, and though she was strong, my fear of her telling someone about the bruises she saw overpowered her. I didn't know how to respond, so instead I turned, and I ran.

It was admittedly difficult to run in my current condition, not to mention it only led her onto the assumption that she was correct in believing that something was really wrong. I knew she was chasing after me but I didn't stop. I pushed through my nausea and the pain in my stomach and ran. I burst out of the front doors and sprinted through the parking lot, feeling the rain pouring down overtop of me but not caring in the slightest. I turned onto the sidewalk and after a few minutes, I was panting heavily and I assumed I lost her.

I paused to catch my breath, my body shaking. How did I keep finding myself in a situation where I had to lie to her specifically? First with the black eye, and then I lied about my arm and wrist, and now my stomach. When I had just about regained a steady breathing rate, I started walking again. It was relatively cold for September and there was rain pouring down over top of me, but I couldn't even begin to care.

I thought I was off the hook, at least for today, but then I heard tires pulling up next to me and a window rolled down, revealing Ms. Manoban inside of the car.

"Jennie!"

I ignored her, trudging along the sidewalk with my hands in my pockets. I reached into my bag and draped my hoodie over my head, refusing to look at her.

"God damnit Jennie, get in the fucking car!"

She drove alongside of me, refusing to give up. I heard her continuing to shout my name and I wasn't sure if I would be able to dig myself out of this one, but I stayed silent and continued walking at a faster pace. I saw the corner ahead and I figured that if I started running now, I could maybe lose her behind the trees. I did exactly that, and though I expected her to follow with her car, she didn't. Instead, I heard the door opening and she stepped out, letting the rain come down over top of her as she ran towards me.

Her longer legs allowed her to catch up to me effortlessly, and she reached out to pull me into her. My hands landed on her arms and as opposed to quite a few times before, she didn't separate herself from me. Instead, she pulled me closer to her and tightened her grip on my body. And though I knew she was worried, I couldn't place her expression for the life of me.

She shook her head, "Now I know that I'm not insane. I'm not letting this go, so you're either going to get into the car willingly or I'm going to make you get in the car, and I'm pretty sure you'd prefer the first option."

I wasn't going to lie, she intimidated me a little bit. She intimidated me more than a little bit, and I knew that this time, she wasn't going to give up. I was shaking because of the pain, the nausea, and the cold, and I decided that I really didn't have another choice but to listen to her. I pulled away and forced myself to walk around her car to the passenger side. Pulling the car door open, I sunk into her leather seats and started shivering, running my fingers through my soaked hair.

She followed me into her car, reaching below the console to turn the heat up. She then reached behind me and pulled a blanket out of the back seat pocket, putting it on my lap.

"Jennie," she said, her eyes focused on mine. "I'm only going to ask you once. Show me your stomach."

I started to shake my head, pulling my soaked hoodie off of my body and putting it in my bag. My shirt underneath was relatively dry, unlike the blonde next to me, who's white blouse was drenched and I could see right through it. I forced myself to look away, and when I spoke, my voice was trembling. I wasn't scared of her and I wasn't scared of Charles, but one thing I was terrified of was being sent back into the system with no real sense of security. I didn't want to do that again, even for the short amount of time before I'd be forced to live on my own. In fact, it was more than just not wanting to do that again. I couldn't do that again.

"No."

She exhaled, and when I looked at her, her eyes held anger. I bit the inside of my cheek, looking away while she struggled with keeping her cool.

"You don't seem to understand this very well, but I'm not fucking asking you. You're either going to lift up your shirt and show me your stomach or I'm going to take this to Principal Yang. I'm not sure what I saw but I know I saw something, and the way you're acting right now proves that."

Because of the last time she had said that, I knew she wasn't kidding. She would take this to the principal if I didn't listen to her, and having him force me to show my stomach would undoubtedly be ten times worse. I took a deep breath, before pushing the blanket off of me and lifting my damp shirt. Her eyes scanned up and down my stomach, taking immediate notice to the assortment of bruises scattered about. Her mouth fell open and she lost the hard exterior, her expression suddenly melting into worry and horror. I assumed that she hadn't ever seen anything like this before, after all, why would she have?

She reached out to me, her fingers shaking as she lightly pressed them to one of the older bruises that was starting to turn yellow. Her voice shook when she spoke, "Jennie... I.."

I knew she didn't even know how to react, and I couldn't connect eyes with her so I watched as she moved closer to me, her thumb brushing over the bruised skin on my stomach. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"It's not what you think it is."

She scoffed, "Damnit Jen it was rhetorical... I don't even know what else it could be.."

I stayed silent as she tried to find words, and her hand finally retracted so that I could breathe again. She sunk into her seat, pulling at the damp top that clung to her torso. Shaking her head, she ran a hand over her face, "Jen, tell me honestly, how many times have you lied to me in the past two weeks?"

I pulled my knees to my chest whispering, "Too many, Ms. Manoban."

She released a shaky breath and put her hand in her hair. "Who's doing this to you?"

I shook my head, "Who do you think?"

"That's the first lie," she nodded in understanding, "that man didn't leave town, did he?"

"No."

"Is he really your friend's brother?"

I played with the rubber on my shoes, knowing that the more I lied to her, the more mad she would be when she inevitably uncovered the truth like she seemed to do so easily today. "No."

She shook her head, running a hand over her face as we settled into silence. I couldn't hear anything except for the rain beating down on the hood of the car, and I couldn't think about anything except being sent back into the system. That is, until I remembered I had responsibilities.

"I have to go to work."

Releasing a heavy breath, she pulled the car out of park and started driving. "I'll take you to work, but there's no god damn way I'm letting whoever did this to you get away with it. We're going to the police."

I had never turned my head so fast. "No we're fucking not Ms. Manoban. Charles an asshole and I fully intend on sending him to prison when I get the chance, but if you even think that you have the right to tell anyone about this, you're insane."

"Excuse me? Jen, I don't know a whole lot about child abuse but I'm certain that I'm allowed to fucking report it."

I cringed at her use of child in front of abuse, and although I knew it was technically the correct terminology, I hated being referred to as a kid. "Do you really think that you'd be doing any good in getting the police or CPS involved?"

She turned down the street towards the grocery store and briefly took her eyes off the road to shake her head at me. "What are you talking about? How can you just sit back and let him beat you?"

"You have no fucking clue what goes on in my life, and it's not that simple. I don't just 'let him beat me' for no reason."

"So enlighten me, what reason could you possibly have for keeping this to yourself and lying to people who want to help you?"

I didn't want to tell her about my past. I had zero interest in doing so, so I folded my arms across my chest and sunk into the seat, turning out the window.

"Jennie, look at me."

I continued to focus my attention on the pavement outside of the car until she pulled into park in front of the grocery store, putting her hand on my shoulder and turning me to look at her. "I'm not trying to be forceful, or a bitch, which is clearly the impression that I'm giving you. It's my actual job to look out for my students and their well-being Jen, and I really don't think I can legally allow you to get out of this car without forcing you to talk to me first or at least allow me to call CPS."

"Let's be honest with ourselves Ms. Manoban, you don't need my fucking approval to call CPS. Why are you even asking?"

"Because I want to know why you're so dead set on keeping his to yourself. I don't know what goes on in your life, and I don't know why you think protecting an abusive friend or boyfriend or... whatever the hell he is to you, is an acceptable option, but in my mind, it's not. How can you possibly expect me to sit here and do nothing, when you're clearly not safe?"

I pressed my thumbs to my temples, groaning because my headache was beginning to resurface. We were doing way too much talking and I had a difficult time focusing on anything that she was saying when the ringing in my ears was getting increasingly louder.

"Because there's nothing you can fucking do to make my situation better. I've been through hell and back, Ms. Manoban, and believe me when I tell you that if there was something that I could do to change my situation, I would do it in a heartbeat. But do you want to know the truth? The truth is, I'm stuck. I can either choose to live with a few bruises and a bit of pain every once and a while or I can choose to be sent back into the god damn system, where I will not only be in a more threatening environment, but I'll also be surrounded by drugs, violence, and people who don't give a shit about me period. I at least have one or two people in my life right now that care, and if you really want to take that away from me, then I guess go right ahead."

Her mouth opened as if to say something, but then she looked down and shook her head. I knew I had maybe five minutes before I would be late for work and I still had to get changed, so I was very tempted to pull the car door open and leave. But I had a high suspicion she would only follow me.

She inhaled heavily, before turning to me. "Sent back into the system? You're a foster kid?"

My blood boiled in anger and I clenched my fists, trying to control myself. I'm sure she didn't see anything wrong with what she had asked me, but I was so fucking tired of hearing that. I didn't want any more fucking labels. I'd had enough of people trying to label me in the multitude of schools that I had been to in my lifetime. It was why I stopped telling people about my situation, and it was why I pushed away anyone that tried to become friends with me. I'd either get pitied or the much more common response, I would get judged, labeled, and tossed aside. It honestly didn't help a whole lot that I was a lesbian.

I clenched my jaw, pulling on the door handle of her silver Mercedes-Benz and practically spitting, "Yeah, I'm a fucking foster kid."

I stepped out in the rain, which had died down considerably, and started jogging into the grocery store. I immediately slipped inside of the bathroom and began to change out of my wet clothes, only to hear the door to the restroom opening and heels pounding on the floor. I sighed deeply, pulling my alternate pair of jeans on and combing through my hair, before reluctantly stepping out of the stall.

Her eyes immediately settled on my new appearance, and she tilted her head, sighing. "Jen, I didn't mean to offend you with what I said, and I'm sorry. But you need to understand, I don't know how to deal with this situation. My mind is screaming at me to report this but I want to at least talk to you first because you seem to want to keep it secret, but if you're not going to talk to me about it... then.."

I shook my head at her, "Here's an idea. How about you decide not to deal with the situation at all? It's not your life, Ms. Manoban. I can handle myself."

She tightened her jaw, "Can you? Because your stomach and the black eye you had last week, which by the way I know now was not because you fucking fell, say otherwise."

"There's not a whole lot I can do to prevent the bruises on my stomach. But yeah, I do know what's best for my safety. Look, I understand that you technically 'can't' let me leave like this, but I'm in the best possible situation right now that my luck will allow."

"I have to disagree-"

I narrowed my eyes, "You disagree? I'm sorry, have you been in the foster system? Have you been starved? Neglected? Have you ever been in a group home? Have you ever been treated like a fucking delinquent just because you needed to steal to survive? Have you ever been surrounded by drugs and liars? Have you ever been fucking moved around so many times that you don't even know what a sense of security is anymore? Ms. Manoban, you have no fucking idea. It's funny, the system isn't all that bad unless you're on the bottom of it and you have really shit luck, which coincidentally, it would appear that that's me."

She didn't say a word. She backed up, and for once it seemed as though our roles were reversed. I was the one intimidating her. I was the one rendering her speechless.

"I have responsibilities, and I have to go to work. You have no idea what hell you would make my life if you decided to share this information, do you understand that? Keep it to your god damn self. I've lived long enough with Charles, I'm pretty sure I can manage for another seven months."

I turned on my heel and started out of the restroom, but she reached out and grabbed my wrist before I could go.

"Fine," she said, her eyes never leaving mine. "But if you even think for a second that I'm letting you go home after what I've seen, you're insane."

"I don't have a whole lot of other options, Ms. Manoban."

She let herself lean against the wall, sighing. After a considerable amount of time in silence, I decided that it was an okay time for me to leave. Once again though, she reached out to me and pulled me back.

"You're staying with me until I figure out what to do about this."

She wasn't asking, but I was too stubborn to just agree right off the bat. "Like hell I am, if I know Charles at all, then he'll come looking for me the minute he realizes I'm gone and his alcohol-infused brain is not going to care that hurting you is a lot different than hurting me. I'm not putting you, or anyone else for that matter, in that position."

She shook her head. "I wasn't asking you. You're going to finish your shift, and then you're coming home with me and Jen, I'm not taking no for an answer. I don't care how long you've been dealing with this so-called Charles, I'm not allowing you to go back home knowing that he'll have the opportunity to do... this again."

And as she stood there in front of me with her eyes narrowed and her voice hardened, I found myself unable to say no.

****
In the three weeks since I'd known the seemingly hard-headed, closed-off blonde that just so happened to be my biology teacher, I don't think I could've ever predicted that she would sit in a grocery store for five excruciatingly long hours just to make sure a certain seventeen-year-old wouldn't run out on her. When my shift finally ended, I made my way to the front of the store to see her leaning back in the small cafe, her hands wrapped around a coffee. She looked ridiculously tired, not to mention bored out of her mind, but when she saw me coming, she immediately stood up.

"Your shift is over?"

"Nine on the dot," I said, treading lightly. I wasn't sure how to approach her, because she was apparently forcing me to go home with her. That, I honestly could have never guessed in a million years.

She kept her eyes trained on me as I walked towards her car, knowing I really had no other choice. I had no interest in staying with her, and though I appreciated her concern, I couldn't ease the worry in my mind that I was somehow introducing her to Charles by simply associating myself with her. I had a high suspicion that the two would meet if she continued to pay such close attention to my life, and the thought terrified me. I couldn't imagine the two going up against one another. Actually, I could, and what I imagined scared the living shit out of me. Ms. Manoban didn't seem like the type of person to back down, which would not work out in her favor considering Charles had to be ten times stronger than her.

The car ride was quiet, and when she finally pulled into a parking spot, I lifted my head to see that we were in front of a rather large building. She pulled her car door open silently and I followed suit, trailing behind her.

"I'm only staying here for one night Ms-"

She cut me off, shaking her head. "I don't mean to sound like a complete bitch, but you'll stay here for as long as I tell you to. I need to make sure you're safe and you're clearly not while in your own house. The alternative is I bring this to the attention of CPS and you don't seem to prefer that option."

I tightened my jaw, following her up the flight of steps. "No, I certainly do not."

She stopped on the first floor in front of a lone door, pulling her keys out of her bag and turning the lock. She pushed it open, gesturing me inside. I reluctantly entered, taking notice to the kitchen on the left, and as I walked farther into her apartment, I noticed a rather large sofa and a television to my right.

I stayed silent and padded forward, turning to see her reaching into her fridge for a water. She turned to me after a while, beckoning me over to where she was standing.

"Jennie."

"Oh good we're back to full name basis."

She sighed. "I hope you realize that I'm not thrilled about this either but I have no other options. Letting you return home is not a choice, and this is the only other thing I can think of."

My eyes scanned her face but I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. When I didn't say anything, she set the empty coffee cup in her hand down as well as the water, and moved closer to me.

"I already know you're going to try to refuse, but before you even do so, let me remind you that you'll know when I'm asking you a question and I'm not about to ask you a question."

I took a step back, completely confused as to where this was going. She sighed, "Take off your shirt."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't make this more difficult than it has to be. I need to see the extent of what he's done to you or I won't be able to go to sleep tonight."

That would make two of us.

"I already showed you."

"Yes well I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't too bothered to actually look at your bruises, all I could see was black and blue and I zoned out."

I shook my head, taking a step back, but she continued to move toward me. "I think that's crossing a line..."

She narrowed her eyes, using my words against me. "You said yourself that we've already crossed that line, so why even pay attention to its existence, right? Take off your shirt Jennie."

I looked down, for some reason unable to move. She saw that I wasn't going to put up much more of a fight, and so she closed the gap between us, placing her hand on the side of my stomach and pushing my shirt up. I felt her hand on my bare skin and I closed my eyes, reminding myself to breathe.

Why couldn't my life be normal?

She gripped the edge of my shirt with her other hand and looked at me for reassurance, before seeing that I had silently agreed. Gently, she removed the shirt from my body and her eyes traveled over my exposed chest and toward my stomach, where they settled on the multitude of bruises.

She shook her head, placing her fingers on two of them and gently stroking upwards with her thumb. "These bruises are different colors."

I lowered my eyes, and though I knew why that was, why did she have to? "So?"

"He's hurt you more than once."

I almost laughed at the blatant truth in her statement. He had definitely hurt me more than once. "You would make a good forensic scientist.." I whispered, "They pay attention to detail, right?"

She let out a breath of air through her nose, and her expression was unplaceable. "Right."

She pulled away slightly and I watched as her eyes shifted from my lower torso to my breasts, and I waited for her to pull her gaze away but she didn't. She didn't seem to care that I was extremely uncomfortable right now, and not because I was exposed but because her hand never separated from my skin.

"How long has he been doing this to you?"

"Not long," I said quickly, to which she narrowed her eyes at me.

"You have a tendency to answer much too quickly when you're lying Jennie. I'm going to ask you again and this time you're going to tell me the truth, how long has he been doing this to you?"

"I don't know," I said honestly, "Maybe a little more than a year."

She pulled her hand away from me and her mouth fell open, "A year? You've been letting him do this to you for a year?"

I shook my head, picking up my shirt from the ground. "I told you that I'm not letting him do anything. I don't have a better fucking option."

She stayed silent for a while, before biting her lip and nodding. "You do now. We're going to figure something out."

I laughed humorlessly, shaking my head. Though I probably shouldn't have, I couldn't help myself. "If something could have been done to make my situation better, I would have done it by now. But I guess it's good to think optimistically, maybe you have enough hope for the both of us."

She breathed heavily, starting towards the door on the far right. "We both need to get some rest, but believe me when I tell you that I am so not done talking to you about this."

"I don't doubt it," I muttered, following her gesture to her bedroom. She opened the door to a fairly large room, her queen bed in the middle and her things scattered about. The room smelt like her, though I couldn't quite pin point it. She pulled at her dresser drawer and retrieved a pair of shorts, which admittedly surprised me because I didn't think she even owned shorts, or t-shirts for that matter.

She tossed them to me, and despite the events of the past few hours, I honestly couldn't help but to smirk. "You own t-shirts?"

She simply raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"

I smirked, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that I was still bare chested, aside from my bra, and I shrugged her shirt over my shoulders. Her torso was apparently longer than mine and her t-shirt was too big on my body, but I admittedly didn't mind. "I kind of figured you either slept in your miniskirt or a pant suit, your whole persona doesn't really scream pajamas."

My comment caused her to smirk, tilting her head. "I really don't even know what that means."

I shrugged, beginning to pull my legs out of my jeans to put her shorts on. She shook her head at me, giving me an expecting look as her eyes trailed over my exposed thighs. "You know there's a bathroom behind you, don't be shy to change in there."

"It's nothing you haven't seen before, are my legs too much for you to handle? I know I'm attractive but Ms. Manoban..."

She stared at me blankly, before sighing. "Alright Jen, here's what's going to happen. We're both going to go to sleep tonight and I'm calling out sick tomorrow. You're skipping school and we're going to talk. You may not like the sound of that and trust me, I don't either, because I'm honestly terrified of what you might have to say. That being said, it needs to happen because I need to know what exactly is going on in your life and I won't until you tell me."

"No offense Ms. Manoban, but I haven't shared personal details about myself with anyone in years, what makes you think I would want to do so with you?"

She moved toward the doorway, slipping her heels off in the process. "Nothing, but I don't care. If you're staying in my apartment, then I need to know what's happening at home."

I narrowed my eyes, "You're forcing me to stay here."

She merely shrugged and lifted her eyes to meet mine. "Sleep well Jennie, I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To my living room?"

I shook my head, "I'm not kicking you out of your own bed."

She tilted her head to the side, lowering her eyes at me. "You need that bed a hell of a lot more than I do. I can tell you're in pain."

"I'm not in pain, but it wouldn't matter anyway. You may be able to force me to stay here but I'm seriously not kicking you out of your own bed."

"You're not, that's correct. I am choosing to sleep on the couch."

"Ms. Manoban-"

She shook her head, holding a hand up. "Stop. One thing you should know about me is that I hardly ever take no for an answer, so you're wasting your breath."

I sighed, sitting down on the bed as I felt my eyes begging to close. My headache had started to disappear, which I was thankful for, and something told me that I might be able to sleep tonight. I wasn't in Charles house and I think that eliminated a lot of reason for my insomnia. "Fine."

She turned to go, but before she exited completely, she looked back at me. "And.. I suppose when we're alone, you don't have to be so formal. Just call me Lisa."

"Oh so you want me to abbreviate, but yet you refuse to use my nickname. What does Lisa come from, Lisandra?"

She stared at me with a blank expression, before her lips twisted into a small smirk. "Lalisa, but I don't mind my full name nearly as much as you seem to. By all means, don't use my nickname, I just figured I would make it easier for you. You know lazy Americans and three syllables don't get along, I'm sure."

I moved back on the bed, and somehow she was able to make me smile yet again. "Yes, I do. Goodnight.. Lalisa, I'm really looking forward our talk tomorrow." Sarcasm at its finest.

She pulled her lips into a thin line, nodding her head. "Oh I am too Jen. Believe me."

With that, she disappeared into the other room and I sank into her bed, honestly still in shock that I was even here. I was lying in my biology teacher's queen bed, her scent enveloping me as she prepared to go to sleep in the other room.

How did I get to be so god damn lucky?