Eritopia

A Decision Made

'I'm special,' Not-Bear announced and the murmuring increased. Bear glared at him to keep him quiet. He knew how officious these old badgers could be. There was no telling what might happen if the Elders got to hear of things spoken out of order.

'What's so special about him?' a dog at the front of the crowd asked, pointing a paw.

'Nothing special about that,' hissed the skinny wildcat, glaring at him. Not-Bear felt a sudden urge to attack it, even though he knew it was against the Rules.

'No-one asked you,' he growled. The wildcat backed into the onlookers. A couple of nearby animals took a step back, and the badger seemed more amenable.

'No need to get angry, young fellow,' he said.

Not-Bear faced the motley crowd, swinging his head from side to side.

'He's going to get us,' screeched the wildcat, trying to edge further backwards into the others.

Not-Bear felt good. Although he was being calm and reasonable, these creatures seemed to think he was a threat.

'I might attack you,' he growled again, taking a step towards the cat. The crowd shrank back.

'Help,' squealed the cat, now isolated in front of the others.

'He can't do that,' said one of them. 'Can he?'

A boar approached and hissed at Bear. 'Control him,' it said.

Bear didn't think he could. He bent down to whisper to his friend. 'We need to get away, follow me.'

Not-Bear nodded and they started to walk off together through the ring of spectators. For a moment of resistance it held before parting and allowing them through. As Not-Bear went past the old badger their eyes met. The badger lowered his head and allowed him to pass.

They moved off down the slope and Not-Bear let out a yelp of excitement. 'Did you see that? I made them shut up and I scared them as well.'

'Don't get too big-headed,' Bear told him, looking back over his shoulder. 'That badger is an important person on the Inside. He could ask awkward questions,' he said. 'You must be respectful to older animals and certainly not aggressive. What were you thinking?'

'I don't care,' said Not-Bear without remorse, 'I enjoyed it.'

Bear looked at him and sighed.

'Don't worry, Bear, I'll help you,' Not-Bear said.

'Help me? You're the one who's in trouble.'

They scrambled down the slope away from the eyes and ears of the others. Before they knew it they were back at the Circle. At first Bear was reluctant to enter, as he was certain it was against the Rules. He said they should be heading back to the Inside. But Not-Bear reasoned another indiscretion wouldn't add much to their sins, so they went in. Yet as soon as he approached the first massive stone Bear had a sinking feeling in his stomach, as if things were never going to be the same again. Not-Bear showed him the patterns he had found, the remains of the fire, and the circular path. 'But I suppose you've seen it all before,' he said.

'Never,' his friend replied, then forgot his concerns as he studied the carvings. He knew about Writing, the preservation of Rules and stories on stones, but had never thought he would see it himself.'

I still wonder who built it,' Not-Bear said.

'Humph,' said Bear. 

It was a grey morning now, and a thin mist hung over everything. The day was becoming the colour of the stones, as grey as the ash from the fire now burnt to its end. Rain began to fall from dark skies. Although Not-Bear sensed the wonder of the Circle as well as Bear, to his mind it also seemed sinister. A monument to knowledge denied to him. If these rituals controlled by the Elders meant anything, then it was to the others, the ones with names. Whatever the secret was, it wasn't going to be revealed to him.

The rain got heavier, and as the drops hit the remains of the fire it started to sizzle. Dark blotches appeared on the stones, the streaks soon joining into a uniform grey. The two of them stood there with the rain coming down and looked, first up and across at each other, then at the stones.

'I can't go back,' Not-Bear whispered through the drumming of the rain.

'What's that?' Bear couldn't hear him.

'I can't go back,' Not-Bear shouted.

'Back where?' The zing of the raindrops and the rushing sound of the wind swept across and beyond the Circle.

'To the Inside.'

Bear didn't understand. 'But you have to, I mean, there's nowhere else to go,' he said. 'We're all going back.'

'I'm hungry,' Not-Bear told him, and then he said. 'Where was the food? Where was all the food you promised me?'

'I don't know,' said Bear, the rain dripping down his forehead and into his eyes, so he had to keep blinking to clear them. 'I didn't promise it to you, I thought it would be here; it usually is. Let's go and find shelter, we'll talk about it then.'

'I don't want to talk about it; there's nothing else to say. I'm leaving.'

'But you can't.'

'Why not? I still haven't got a name and I don't belong with you or your friends. Everyone either laughs at me or runs away. Besides, the badger will make life difficult for us when we get back. You said so.'

'I can handle the badger,' said Bear, not sure if he could.

'It will be easier with me gone,' Not-Bear told him.

'Where will you go?' Bear felt so helpless. Not-Bear was prowling this way and that, in the relentless rain.

'The Outside,' he said.

The full horror of that statement shook Bear. Now he knew his friend was either mad, ill or both. He sat down on a fallen stone to try to make sense of it all. The Outside! It was forbidden to go there. Not-Bear would be cast out, shunned and Bear, his tutor, would be blamed for it all. He could see the Elders now, sitting in committee, while he stood in front of them trying to explain everything. Yet it would come out as gibberish, or idiocy, for that is what it seemed. How could he explain it in any other terms, how could he deny it? The truth would seem the madness it plainly was.

'Bear.' Not-Bear came up to his friend, face to face. 'I want to thank you.'

Bear was speechless, 'I, um, er...' he mumbled.

'You've helped me through a lot, and you've tried to answer my questions.'

Those silly questions, thought Bear. 'Er, um,' he stuttered.

'But I've got to go and find out things for myself.'

Bear looked at him.

'Find out who I am.'

Bear's eyes watered, not entirely because of the rain.

'My real name.'

Bear was crying.

'Why I am so different from the rest of you.'

'You're not different, not really,' Bear said through his tears.

'Humph,' said Not-Bear gently, in a well practised imitation. He walked forward, his nose touched Bear's paw and then he was gone. Bear looked for him, trying to rub the tears and the rain from his eyes. 'Not-Bear,' he shouted, 'Not-Bear, wait!' and he stumbled off after what he thought was his friend. A dark shadow loomed, one of the huge stones, and he was through the perimeter of the Circle. He stumbled up the incline and found himself once more in the crowd of animals. 

There were only a few left now; weary, bedraggled, and cold, moving away from the Circle across the clearing. Looking for one of the avenues leading back to the Inside. Bear wandered around, looking at faces, hoping to see a familiar one, but in vain. 

Not-Bear had vanished.