Longing •Bucky Barnes•

•Twenty Five•

He was fighting the sleep. Normally he'd be cracking jokes and being a pain in the ass. However, when I looked to him, he just wanted to sleep. The girl Nebula who had been with him was currently talking to Mariah. I had no idea who she was or how she got interwoven into Tony's situation, but I didn't care. He was home.

But Peter wasn't. Peter was gone just like everyone else. Not even 18 yet and he was taken by a force he didn't even probably understand. My heart hurt for him, he hadn't even become an Avenger yet, but he lost his life in a fight to save everyone else's.

I almost felt like I was day dreaming. I had spent nearly every waking hour searching for him and he shows up at my door step in the middle of the now out of nowhere. It felt unreal, like it was just a dream. But no matter no matter how hard I pinched myself, I wasn't waking up.

"He could use some company." I heard and Bruce was walking out of his room.

I hadn't even noticed the blinds were now shut next to where I stood. I rose to my feet and nodded. I pushed the door open and saw Tony laying there in bed and he was half asleep. When he heard me he looked up and tried to open his eyes more.

"Sleep, you're tired. I'll be here when you wake up." I said crossing my arms.

"No, You're alive. Me too some how. I've missed you kid." He said softly clearly struggling to speak.

"I've missed you too old man." I said sitting at the side of his bed. "What happen anyways?"

"They got ahold of Strange and the Time Stone, I went after them and I told the kid to not follow me but-"

"I told him to. Someone had to watch over you. If I would have known what was going to happen I would have never asked him to." I said lowering my head.

"The Snap didn't care who or where you were. It would have happened anyways." Tony said and I just exhaled. "Nothing would have changed."

"Still." I said shaking my head.

"He did good, I needed him more than I'd ever admit to him." He said and I nodded silently. "We found Strange and to make a long story short he did that weird meditation thing to analyze how many universe we'd win in. He said there was only one, but we still lost. I don't understand it."

"Maybe something worse could have happened." I said after a moment of thought.

"Maybe, couldn't ask him now even if I had wanted to. He's gone too." Tony said shaking his head and I just lowered mine.

"A lot of people are. Happened right in front of me. Wanda almost destroyed the Mind Stone too, I mean she did, but Thanos just reversed time and took it. I was the last line of defense between him and them." I said shaking my head.

"We all lost that day Valerie, no one left the battlefield a hero." He said shaking his head. "You're too young to wear that weight on your shoulders.

"That reminds me." I said laughing solemnly. "I was having a flash back before I was woken up. I remembered what you were talking about that one day at the Avengers tower. You said when I remembered that you need to explain. The dream was from when Fury wanted me to initiate into the Avengers and you didn't want me to."

"You have to know I didn't mean it Val. I can explain why I said-"

"No I understand. I was growing up too fast. It wasn't normal." I said shaking my head. "Growing up going through what I did caused me to have to grow up in ways I never thought I'd have to and even after I got free from them, I just didn't know when to stop. Even if that meant going against your wishes."

"I never meant those words, they were in the heat of war. I was a jerk back then." He said shaking his head.

"Back then?" I asked and he just chuckled and I smiled seeing a small grin on his face.

"I'm a control freak kid, I felt like I was loosing control of you. Sometimes I still do, but it's something I just can't control. You have to make your own choices and even mistakes, to learn." He said looking to me.

"I make plenty of mistakes believe me. Not much learning though if I'm having fun." I said and he just shook his head grinning.

"Yeah, you do have a questionable taste in men, I blame Pepper for that though." He said and just scoffed and rose to my feet. I sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"So what now?" I asked changing the subject.

"I mean what is there to do? Half of us are gone, the world I can only assume is in shambles." He said putting up his hand. "When I was up there in space all I could think about was going home. Being with you and Pepper."

"Home is awfully close to the Avengers Tower." I said with a careful eye knowing that it was temptingly close.

"Not there, I don't know. Just somewhere far away from this mess, after what just happened I want nothing to do with what's next. I just want my family." He shaking his head.

"You sound like Bucky." I said shaking my head. "He wants to leave the Avengers, or at least distance ourselves, I don't know."

"I think he might be onto something." Tony said looking at me worriedly. "And you?"

"I don't know. I won't lie settling down sounds great, but if they needed me I don't know what I'd do." I said. "I don't think that'll ever change in me."

"You'll understand when you're older." He said winking at me.

"Get some rest old man, I'll be by in the morning." I said softly.

"Sounds good, send me a pretty nurse for a sponge bath will you?" He asked and I just shook my head as I walked towards the door. "I love you Val, Strange talked about all of those infinite number of universes and realities. I just want you to know I'd chose to be your dad in at least 3000 of them."

"Infinite realities and you would pick only me in 3000 of them?" I asked crossing my arms laughing at him.

"I said at least, I have about 4000 where I'm Hugh Hefner, a couple hundred where I'm a race car driver, and at least a dozen where I'm president. I couldn't simply dedicate all of them to being your dad." He said shrugging.

"Love you 3000 dad." I said laughing as I left him to get some rest.

"I love you too."