Assurance

Fourteen | Back to what's normal

FOURTEEN

Seattle, Washington

B A I L E Y

- A week passes, 5:43 -

"Yea! We'll be there in a second!" I shout to my neighbors.

As I've been here, I've made friends with my neighbors, Charlie and Brittney. They are married, maybe in their fifties with a very fancy lifestyle. But they are the nicest, humblest people on the face of the earth. Willow likes them too.

I walk back into my house and grab a bottle of wine, and the salad I made. Charlie and Brittney have everything else for dinner set. "Willow?" I called out. I see her at my back door waiting for me. "Ready to go?" I ask in a baby voice. She gets excited and we walk to the house next door. "Hello again." I say when I close the gate.

"Hello, Bailey." Brittney says giving Willow a piece of chicken. "You brought wine!" She adds taking it from me.

"Of course I did!" I exclaim, handing her two glasses out for her to fill.

"You two are drunks." Charlie laughs. He doesn't drink, just makes fun of us.

"At least we are happy!" Brittney counters. She isn't afraid to say what she wants to him. They are a little snappy to each other at times. It's amusing to watch though. Brittney always wins.

"Happy happy!" I add, taking a small sip from my glass.

"Willow! Stop chasing the cat!" Charlie shouts.

Brittney starts laughing and rooting for Willow. Brittney hates that cat, Trixi, she is old and a little brat. Charlie loves her though. "Wills!" I call out in laughter. She stops and walks over to me. "You can't do that! At least when Charlie isn't around." I laugh.

"Leave my kitty alone." Charlie says to Willow.

"That cat is way older than it needs to be, so what?" Brittney jokes.

"Let's just eat." Charlie rolls his eyes.

We all take our seats and chit chat while we eat. Charlie and Brittney came to my house the next morning after I was dropped off. They were so kind and welcoming. It's only been a week, but we really connected. We became friends instantly. I am very lucky to have them. Charlie owns a "big company" he said, while Brittney helps out with him. But she is mainly home. They don't have any kids, just that cat. Charlie and Brittney live a very fancy lifestyle. Their house is gorgeous, and decorated with high-end stuff. It's surprising how humble they are.

- 8:42 pm -

"Thanks again guys." I say waving from my side of the fence.

"Thanks for coming!" Charlie says back.

"Love ya darling!" Brittney shouts.

"Good night." I say.

Willow and I walk into the house and I put the dishes from the salad in the sink, and the empty bottle on the counter. We make our way up the stairs and I get into some pajamas. Willow lays in the bed waiting for me. When I lay down, she puts her head on my chest and falls right asleep. I put the television on to try to fall asleep.

But every time I close my eyes, Lewis pops up. I wish we would have talked rather than me just running away from the situation. I've been happy since the splitting but the past two nights he has been haunting me. Every little thing reminds me of him. I have never been through a breakup but this is what I imagine it feels like; The constant feeling of loneliness, the bed feels colder. I miss the little things he'd do for me. He would just know what I was thinking about.

It boggles me with the fact we've only known each other just shy of two months. It feels like we've known each other for years. God- I am so weak and laudable. He is a man of his work. His job is much more important than I could ever be to him. But he made me think otherwise, that he thought of me more. I can't believe myself for believing him. How could I be so stupid?

Before I know it I am balling my eyes out in an ugly cry. My nose is all clogged, and a cough roars within me. I woke up Willow, and she doesn't know what to do, so she just stares at me, judgement clear in her eyes. She has been upset for a couple days too. She probably misses him.

"It's okay. I miss him too."

- 8:09 am -

I woke up to nothing. No noise anywhere. Willow sleeps silently next to me. I wipe the dry tears off my cheeks. I get up and try not to wake Willow up, and get into the shower. I got into a coughing fit, and my nose is so runny. Great, now I have a cold. I guess that's what happens when you cry yourself to sleep. When I get out of the shower I look in the mirror and how puffy I look. My eyes are so red, and I look like I just gained a million pounds in my face alone.

I search the lidding closet for a thermometer, and when I find one I put it under my tongue, pressing the button. When the timer goes off I check the number and it reads 98.9 degrees. I'm fine. After I get dressed into comfy clothes I go down stairs and put food in Willow's bowl so it's ready for her when she comes down.

Since I have nothing else to do, I go into my art room and turn on some music so it can drown out my thoughts. As I listen to the music I play with the colors on the canvas.

- 5:48 pm -

For the first time all day, my eyes leave the canvas and I suddenly am not in the painting trance anymore. Knocking and doorbells fill my ears. I rush to the front door and open it to find a panicked Brittney on the other side. "Oh my gosh! You scared me!" She exclaims.

"I'm sorry. I was just painting." I explain.

"I've called you like seventeen times!" She states.

"Yea, sorry. My phone is upstairs." I say.

"It's okay. I just thought you got kidnapped!" She laughs.

The irony. "Nope. Just lost track of time." I chuckle.

"Okay well I have to go out, and Charlie is on a business trip, but I am only a call away." She says. "And remember. I am always here if you need me." Her smile warms my heart.

"Thank you." I say. "Have a good rest of your day." I say waving to her before closing the door.

As I walk back to the studio I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. At first I didn't recognize the person looking back at me. The sad, sad person with puffy eyes, she looks too thin, hair stringy. Food hasn't been part of my top priorities. I really only eat what Charlie and Brittney feed me. It sounds awful, but I feel no different.

I pull off my apron and pull up my shirt to see a flat stomach. I was never the skinniest person, but now I kinda look at it. It makes me smile. My body image has never really bothered me. I've never really looked at my body in the way. I should probably eat something but I'm just not hungry.

But I am tired. So I just call for Willow and she comes walking out of my studio and I put her food in her bowl. Once she is finished eating I take her out to go to the bathroom. After, I wipe her face, cleaning the wrinkles. I give her a treat just because she is a good girl.

We make our way upstairs and I put the television on. My life is so sad and uneventful. I cry myself to sleep again.