Fear to Let Go

Chapter 4

My creator was safe, even though he had a few scars everywhere. Sasha was truly happy to have him back, while I was rather concerned. I didn't want anything to happen to her. The school was getting quite tiring, but at least the bullies stopped. Iva and me had started to talk more and became somewhat friends. So the loop started. Getting up in the morning, bringing Sasha and myself to school, coming back home. Home. That was no longer my home. It only became worse between me and my creator. I started to hate him, even though I knew he could be different, because the first years of affection were still stuck in my mind. The alcohol completely destroyed him. One day as I came home from that job he then did the worst possible scenario for me. He was lying hand on Sasha. As fast as I possibly could I pushed him away from her, bringing her outside, telling her to stay at the Lady as I closed the door. He had beaten me a few times by now already, but this time he threw me into the basement, trying to somehow grab me. Not that I would've ever let that happen. So after kicking him right where it hurts and him beating me up for it, he locked me in. I was slamming my fists against the door until they started bleeding and then was gliding down the door, curled up in myself. After calming down in the night I managed to escape and ran back upstairs before he could notice. Four more years like this. Then at a chemistry lesson, me and Iva were working together while talking about that project. I barely understood chemistry, but Iva was the one understanding it all. All the numbers, all the reactions and atoms. They made complete sense to her. It was the other way around when it came to biology-lessons. I was the best in that subject while she only saw strange pictures in the book and the plant or animals from the outside. So even though I knew she shouldn't have done what she was about to do, she didn't listen to me. When the break was up, she grabbed a certain flower which she wanted to place in our chemistry project. Fast I put my hand onto the glass with that strange liquid in.

„Don't put it in there! This flower might not look very dangerous to you, but I promise you, you don't want to be responsible for this-"

„Oh stop, nothing's gonna happen. I want to see how it eats up that plant, it's gonna look fun."

She grabbed my hand and put the plant inside. I only stared and backed away. Iva was chuckling, calling me paranoid. However, our project actually bubbled up and wouldn't stop, so now even she backed away a little.

„It's gonna stop in just a min-"

The glass exploded and the whole liquid spread across the floor as we left the room real fast. Luckily our chemistry teacher knew exactly what to do, however the school had to be evacuated for two whole days. Madly I yelled at Iva, telling her if she wouldn't have been all that stubborn, this wouldn't have happened. She only rolled her eyes, arguing with me as she pushed me. The whole argument turned into a fist fight and once again the teachers had to pull us away from each other as we furiously hissed at each other.

„You're just a big baby, Scyaram!!"

„No! You're uncaring!!"

Suddenly the teacher slapped both of us at once with the rulers.

„Both of you should go into the hands of a special-needs school!"

Fast I ran off back home and into my room. While being truly scared of the situation once again, I stared at the door. Please don't come in! I was not able to sleep anymore. The possibility that my creator would come in this room kept me up, the ever growing fear and rage he gave me. I even had to quit that job because of my problems and anxiety. Sasha came into the room, gently hugging me, assuring me that one day everything is going to be better. Never in my life I would've believed that in this situation. How could this possibly turn out to the better? After a little while of her comforting me she let go. The following day was my birthday. At least she said that. Gently she was waking me up in the morning, because she still had to go to school after all. But then she was reaching me a present. With a slight smile I opened it and looked inside. After looking at it for a while I gently held it up. A green hat.

„You're always so sad that you don't have hair, so since a while I tried to make you this hat and now I find it finally perfect enough. Here, let me help you."

Carefully she put it on my head as I looked in the mirror. I couldn't believe how much a simple hat would change my whole appearance. I felt so different. Sasha smiled at me.

„Do you like it?"

Of course I did, so much that I couldn't stop smiling. After a hug she got up.

„Well then you pretty Princess, I'm really sorry but I gotta go now. I don't wanna be too late. Until later then!"

With a little wave she left off while I was looking at myself for a while. Never had I ever been as happy over a gift as this. Suddenly though the door opened. My creator was staring at me, asking me where I got that from. After informing him, he told me to do some of the house work, since I wouldn't do anything anymore now. Just to please him, I did what he said. This house was not to be fixed anyway. As I got outside in the garden though, I saw a family with their little child, playing. They seemed so happy. Jealously I wished to have those happy days back again as well. The lady from next door was looking at me.

„You poor child gotta do housework now?"

„Ehm, it's nothing. I'm gonna be finished soon, don't worry."

„Alright, if you say. Oh, would you like some of the candy? Sasha loves those, maybe you can share."

After reaching me the candy I was thanking her, bringing it into the kitchen for Sasha. Until this day I've only ever had a very disgusting bread. After that, I decided that food wouldn't be something for me to enjoy, so even if I tried, it would all taste rather unpleasant. I waited. But even as it turned dark, Sasha wouldn't come back. Worried I put on a jacket and left outside where a dark dressed man, seemingly the police, was standing. As he asked for my creator and he came outside as well, that man let us know that Sasha wouldn't come back. She had been killed. Empty I stared at the ground. He looked at me, demanding me to get into my room, which I immediately did, gliding down the door. Sasha, my Sasha...! I cried in pain. This was not what I wanted. My Sasha, the only one who kept my thoughts safe. Not even a minute after my creator bursted into the room.

„You filthy creation... killed her. You killed Sasha!"

„What?! I loved her more than you asshole ever did!!"

Fast he came up to me. I tried to flee but he held me down, calling me names as he strangled me from behind. I couldn't breathe. Terrified I tried to get away from him, but it was no use. The only thought left was my Sasha, then everything turned black. Sa.. sha...