The sane thing for me to do would have been to run in the opposite direction and flee for my life the second that I saw his bright blue eyes and bad boy smile. But I'd never been considered completely sane. So I stayed. I fell. I loved. And I broke.
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A.N: This goes without saying, but for the purpose of not getting into trouble, I DID NOT WRITE THIS SONG, as per the last chapter. It's Dammit by Jana Kramer. I have changed some of the lyrics to fit with what was going on in this chapter.
♔
Chapter Seventeen:
Gemma threw her arm over my shoulder after I'd finished Every Little Thing and waved at the roaring crowd to get them to hush.
"How good was that?" The crowd cheered again and I blushed at the reaction to a song that I'd written through my tears on a drunk night when I was wallowing in my heartbreak.
She gave me a cheeky smile. "The shows over, but ... you want to hear one more that she wrote before we pack up for the night?"
My body stiffened and I stared at her with wide eyes and an opened mouth. This was not what we'd planned and I didn't know what the hell she thought she was doing.
When there was a chorus of 'yes' from the crowd, Daniel and the rest of the band gave me supportive thumbs up and left the stage so only Gemma and I were standing there.
She put the microphone back on the stand that had been set up for me to be able to play my guitar and sing at the same time, and I followed her back a few paces so the crowd wouldn't be able to hear what I said.
"Gemma, what the hell are you doin'?! We haven't practised anything else-"
She cut me off before I could rant at her and cupped my cheek. "I heard the song you wrote the other day in the garden. It's done. It's perfect. And you're going to sing it and show him just how badly he's fucked up."
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "You don't think one song was enough to get that message across?"
"Never hurts to rub a little salt in those wounds, baby." She kissed my cheek before she left me standing like a moron.
I cleared my throat into the microphone and found Happy in the crowd. "I hope that you're prepared to lose your adoptive mother, Happy Lowman, because I'm goin' to murder her when I get off this stage."
He, along with the rest of the crowd, began to laugh and I shook the tension out of my shoulders.
"I'm sorry, y'all. I've gone through somethin' in the last few months, so all of the songs I've written lately are pretty sad and borin'." I chuckled along with them in my own pity party and then looked at the stars above my head while I began to strum. "This is Dammit."
I was drivin' to town and I passed by a house, the one with pillars on the porch. Had a sign on the door said 'for sale'. So, what the hell?
I walked in, sat down on some strangers couch. Solid oak hardwood floors, Didn't need to see more. 'Cause I could hear you in the kitchen while I played my guitar, all our friends comin' over, little lights in the yard.
Jax looked like he was going to double over and vomit on the grass, so I looked away from him and into the crowd.
And dammit. Didn't we almost have it? Honestly, I still don't understand it. We used to love to sit, talk and wish, and picture and plan it. Man, now I just... dammit.
I shook my head and strummed a few bars before I got into the second verse.
I think the owners could tell I was lost in myself. So they left me alone, said, "make yourself right at home". I was already makin' dinner, Callin' you down the stairs. Little boy out the window, Hear him laughin' out there.
Happy nodded to me, offering me strength to get through the song that put all of my feelings out into the open.
Dammit. Didn't we almost have it? Honestly, I still don't understand it. We used to love to sit, talk and wish, and picture and plan it. Man now I just dammit.
Baby, didn't we almost have it? Honestly, I still dont understand it. We used to love to sit, talk and wish, and picture and plan it. Man, now I just... Dammit.
The whole crowd had gone silent, and I saw a woman down the front holding her chest like my words were hurting her. I wanted to apologise to her, but I couldn't stop.
Now I'm driving away, Thinking "oh what a shame". You can pray, you can hope, but you just never know. I guess that three bedroom picket fence magic can't ever be ours now, can it? Dammit.
Another tear slid down my cheek and I closed my eyes while I finished the song as my voice broke softly and I had to force myself not to break down in sobs.
Honestly, I still don't understand it. Thinking how good we coulda had it. We coulda had it. Dammit.
