Don't Give Up On Me

Chapter 14

Friday, 8:38am

"Oh my god..." everyone muttered as the scans came up. Dereks world fell apart even more. The cancer had spread even more. The treatment wasn't working at all.

"Damnit!" Swender exclaimed, banging her hand against the table. "It's spread everywhere. All over her major organs. If it spreads to her brain, this is going to be really bad." She said.

"We need to attack this cancer harder or she's going to die." Bailey said bluntly. "We do. Let's get her out and talk about more aggressive treatment plans." Dr Swender said.

"Let's do that now. We can do surgery to get as many metastasis as we can." Richard suggested. "Or we can do IL2." Addison said. "I don't know yet. We need to discuss with the patient." Swender said.

"Hello?" A weak voice came through the intercom. "Almost done, Mer. Are you okay?" Derek asked, keeping his voice smooth and normal though he wanted to cry.

"I don't feel good." Meredith whispered, almost inaudible through the intercom. Dereks heart broke. "I know. We're gonna help you feel better once we get back to your room." He said.

Merediths breathing was so heavy you could hear it from the speaker. You could also hear her start to cry. She was clearly in pain and very uncomfortable.

"Let's get her out." Bailey said, moving to the room. "It's okay Grey." She said soothingly as Meredith was transferred to the gurney. Meredith was squirming around uncomfortably, sharp breaths coming out.

"Meredith, once we get back to your room we'll get you some stronger meds and make you more comfortable, okah?" Dr Swender asked. Meredith was too tired and too uncomfortable to answer and judt groaned.

Derek hated seeing her this way. This wasn't his strong, independent, and bossy Meredith. This Meredith was in pain, exhausted, and unresponsive. But she was his Meredith nonetheless, and he hated her being in pain or anything less than happy.

They got her back to her room and dr Swender opted for some stronger medication and a light sedative to help her feel better.

Meredith fell asleep quickly, leaving the doctors to talk.

"What's the treatment plan?" Bailey asked as Swender studied the scans more thoroughly. "I think we have to do both IL2 and surgery." Dr Swender decided.

"Can she handle that?" Derek asked. "She already feels like she's going to die after our daily failed chemo." He said.

"Derek, if this type of cancer spreads to her brain, this brings down her chance of survival a hell of a lot. She probably won't make it unless someone can operate and a miracle happens." Swender said.

"She can barely breathe on her own!" Derek snapped. "I don't think she can take much more." He added quietly.

"Then we'll take care of her. Derek, right now, you are a family member. Not a doctor. Just be there for her. Take care of her like a girlfriend, not a patient and let us figure out her treatment." Swender said lightly.

"I've never felt this helpless in my life." He whispered. Richard put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "I know. But I promise you were doing everything we can to help her. I just need you to trust me." She said. Derek nodded and smiled slightly.

•••

A while later, Meredith woke up to the sounds of her own blood pressure machine, warning the nurses of her dropping BP.

"Dr Grey, you're awake. I'll get Dr Shepherd." The nurse said with a smile.

Derek came in a minute later and smiled at his girlfriend. "Hi." He said, kissing her forehead and running a hand over her thin hair.

"Hi." Meredith answered in a weak voice. "How are you feeling?" He asked. "Not good." She admitted. Dereks heart squeezed and he frowned. "I'm sorry." He apologized. "Not your fault."

"Meredith, we have to discuss your scans." Dr Swender said as she, Richard, and Bailey came in. "And?" Meredith asked anxiously.

"It's spread, Meredith. It's covering most of your major organs." Swender said. Meredith swallowed. "I'm not going to survive, am I?" She asked.

"Now, We didnt saythat. We think we need an even more aggressive treatment plan."

"Even more aggressive than chemo 5 days a week?" Meredith blurted weakly.

"If this spreads to your brain-"

"I'm going to die. I understand. I just...I don't know how much more I can take." Meredith admitted. "I know it feels that way. But we can still figure this out." Bailey cut In. "What are you guys thinking?" Meredith asked with a sigh.

"We want to start IL2 and a surgery to excise some metastasis." Swender explained. "Both of them? At the same time?" Meredith asked in shock.

Swender nodded. "It's going to be brutal, I'm not going to lie. But it's the only way."

Meredith looked at Derek. "I- do I have to make a choice now?" She asked. "No. But soon. Once again, we want to start this treatment as soon as we can." Swender answered.

"What are my chances if I do do this?" Meredith asked. Swender looked at her. "Probably about 30-35%. But that's better as opposed to nothing." She said before walking out, leaving Meredith with a life changing decision.

"I don't know what to do, Derek." Meredith whispered. "It's your choice, Mer. I'll support whatever you do." He replied. "I don't know that to do, Derek! I already feel like hell, like I could collapse and just die any minute, and they want me to do IL2 and another damn surgery!" She yelled as loudly as she could, her weak voice not making it very loud.

"I know Mer. You should fight this. If anyone can beat this, it's you. That's why you need to fight. I'll support you if you don't want to, but if there's a chance, this small, unconvincing chance, you should take it." Derek said.

After lots of contemplating in her head, Meredith made a choice. Derek paged her doctors and they all came in.

"I've made a decision."

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