Lost At Sea 3 ⋆ JJ Maybank

Was I... Was I the runt? / Not anymore

At least, her friends were her. New, and old. Her boyfriend, JJ Maybank, keeps trying to remind her that this could be worse. That this is everything he's ever wanted. Everytime he does so, something wavers in her. But I want more. He has everything he needs. I need more.  But she could pretend. She decided this was who she wanted to be; after making it so hard for everyone, she needed to be easy. She owed it to the people around her.

This would always blow up in their face. Perhaps they should have known that whatever the island was bringing out in them would carry out, should they be rescued. That whatever seed Luke Maybank had planted in his son's brain would grow like ivy around his heart. Kathryn would always want things JJ couldn't get her. She'd always have things better than whatever he could dream of offering.

In many ways, this island was their way to ignore the reality caving in. They were stranded with their friends, and all the problems JJ could think of disappeared. Kathryn's multiplied. He had nothing and she wanted everything.

The roles reversed when, and not without excessive grievances, they made it back to the Outer Banks. Where she had everything, and nothing was waiting for him. What about me? Well, Kathryn was otherwise engaged.

Her dad came back from the dead.

Okay, here's the thing. When people are dead, they tend to stay that way. But lately, there's got to be someone playing God out there, because Ward Cameron, Big John Routledge and Edward Darcy are back in the OBX. The noose of fatherly love ties tightly around their children's neck. Like a leash, they yank them back when they go too far. Steer them back towards their goal...

El Dorado. No, no, she means what you just read. El Dorado. Because, listen;

1. Kathryn learned when she was kidnapped – yes, again, don't ask – that Tanny's journal actually leads to it, and

2. some very, very shady guys are after it, and by shady she means criminal, because when are they not? And they follow the Pogues back to the OBX,

3. where more work awaits, because Kathryn feels like she's charged with a new mission – helping Rafe's new girlfriend, while navigating:

4. her crisis of faith when her father seems changed, and her mother, who couldn't stay in jail for a murder she didn't commit, seems changed, and God–

5. why is JJ suddenly convinced that they don't work together?

Everything is falling to shit. She thought that the island was a new low, but this, this was worse than anything she could have thought of. This is supposed to be the happiest she'd ever feel. Her father is back. And yes, sure, her uncle Henry seems less than happy about it, but at least she had her boyfriend. She'd finally let her guard down, asked for help, forgot about reason and went with her heart.

And now JJ was hiding things from her. He was the one to keep her at arm's length, but without telling her why. Without giving her a reason she'd believe. The Pogues were spread thin, with everything that happened. Not to mention their new treasure hunt, that Kathryn's dad kept pushing down her throat, and she can't say 'no', because she promised herself she'd be perfect, the kid anyone would dream of. And JJ... He was lying to her. She felt lost. She was lost.

Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy had always been lost at sea, in some way or another. A sea of grief, drowning in anger, stranded looking for herself...

... Maybe it was time to get her head above water.