"There's barely enough time to love in a lifetime, please don't give it all away to pain," his words were gentle, yet slightly pleading as his hand trailed down my cheek.
"But what if the pain has already consumed me?"
- 18+
- Themes that may ups...
Another thing I'd like to touch on is that THIS IS NOT A BOOK THAT DIRECTLY ROMANTICISES ABUSIVE AND TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. Yes, it's important to understand that Nova does stick with Jungkook even though he isn't necessarily good for her but only because it's been drilled into her from being a victim of sexual assault and experiencing relationships like her one with Kai. Once you get into a habit, it's difficult to break, especially when that habit is manipulating you day in and day out. I spent a lot of time... and I mean A LOT of time researching different types of BPD and the spectrum of severity, to make Nova relatable in her choices. I see a lot of people post announcements and thoughts stating that the "damsel in distress" theme should be axed and whilst I somewhat agree, I do believe it's important to sometimes write realistically. We do still live in a frickin' misogynistic society and that means characters like Nova are going to do what they've been taught and that is to see men in a authoritative role. I hate it, you guys hate it, my strong views on feminism hate it, but there are going to be women out there who know no different. So I beg you, refrain from making comments about her being weak because I personally think it's offensive to the women out there who are finding it near impossible to break out of an abusive relationship. IT'S NOT THAT EASY. Jimin's character was developed as a sign of hope and as an example of men out there who grow and fight against the misogyny created by the male gender.
If you want to read about powerful female characters then read my new book Familiars.
Let's talk about the death... hehehe. So originally I had planned for (drum roll please) our beloved Jimin to die. I thought it was fitting that the guy that put himself before her all the time was to die. He would do anything and everything for her and I thought the best way to end it was for him to save her one last time.... I just couldn't bring myself to do it after writing chapter 50 so I stuck with my back up and that was to, I guess, redeem Jungkook.
This is a book that I'm constantly editing as my views/knowledge/experiences change. This is probably one of the only stories I've written that I wouldn't ever think about publishing because it's very intense and I'm always changing my mind on how I'd expect Nova to handle situations.
Okay moving on to our characters!
JUNGKOOK
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Jungkook's character was a difficult one and in some ways I'm really protective of him. Some readers really hated him and some understood his decisions. In chapter 49 I explained his back story a little bit - he came to Seoul to work under Namjoon, being starstruck by his success, but somewhere along the way he was encouraged into Joons side business, which corrupted him. The whole lifestyle made him greedy and possessive and that carried over to Nova too. He's not a bad guy, he just found it really difficult to explain his emotions. He loved Nova and put everything into their relationship but we have to remember he also loved Keira but Joon did the exact same thing with her. I kind of referenced a few times that Keira just disappeared without a trace and that's because Namjoon chased her away like he did with Nova.
