Cellar Sheep

Chapter 23

It was cold. The weather seemed to bite at me, the quick winds full of snow whipping at my skin. Every step I took went up to my knees, my bare feet and legs laboring to find a path. For the first time, I was cold to the bones, but I didn't care.

I was numb. Entirely numb to the point where I didn't care anymore about what happened. Let the cold kill me. Let me drop to the ground frozen dead. Let an infectee come out and tear me to pieces. Let something, anything kill me.

But there was nothing. No one or thing was around in this blizzard, no people, no infectees, no nothing.

Just me walking back to the hotel from the ski lodge that sat behind me, burning down to a crisp.

After I had kept my promise to Thomas and put a bullet in his skull, I covered him in gasoline, the whole damn place in it, and lit a match.

Let there be nothing left of that place.

And I thought about staying there, thought about letting the place collapse onto me and take me down with it. To die right beside Thomas as I should've done.

But I realized I had one last thing to do. I had to save the sheep. I had to make sure they were safe and secure, that they were on their way to the safety camp.

So here I was, stalking through this bone-chilling blizzard, making my way toward them.

Save the sheep: That was the last promise I would make. To myself.

I'd lived long enough as Karma to fulfill Kenny's promise as soon it wouldn't be me in control and living.

If I saved the sheep, I'd keep all promises I had made.

And that was the last thing I wanted to do before I let go. 

Another bitter wind blew through, my body shaking but I stared dead ahead, too numb to care or feel the pain.

I'd endured worse. Besides, it was nothing compared to the emptiness I was feeling now.

"Karma." The voice whispered to me. "What is it you desire most?"

"Why does it matter?" I asked, my voice hollow.

"Because when we become one, when I am you, you will no longer need to fret as you will have everything you've ever wanted."

"I don't get it."

"You will not be you anymore, you will become what once was human. What you desire, what you aspire to be and hope for will be yours. You will be fulfilled. You will be your best parts."

"I'm still not following."

"Once you let go, whatever you wish to happen next will be yours. For instance, if you believe in a heaven that is where you will be."

"I don't believe in anything."

"Then you will be free." It promised and that was good enough for me. "Save the sheep, then you will be free."

For some reason, the itch no longer bothered me and the voice no longer tried to encourage me to let it win. Maybe it knew I had given up, seen how hopeless it was.

To be free would be nice. To make this all end.

I kept walking further before I noticed a figure in the distance too large to be human. And as I came closer I recognized it.

I stopped only feet away from the muscular infectee that had killed Kenny. The muscular infectee that had attempted to kill me. And as it glared down it seemed it recognized me as well.