Cellar Sheep

Chapter 22

I felt like I was back with Kenny all over again. Stuck inside a room with only one other, neither of us saying much, only being left to our thoughts.

Except for this time the gun wasn't at me. This time it was in my hands with an impossible decision to make. 

For now, though, it was discarded far away from me as I laid back in the corner, arms wrapped around my stomach from the dull ache that only grew.

Hungry. I was growing so hungry. Just the thought of tasting blood, the image of it made the itch intense. And if that wasn't annoying enough Thomas wouldn't sit down. He kept pacing around the room, scratching at his neck and head and limbs, head snapping over his shoulder at every little noise, sweat glistening off his skin as he'd stripped down to shirt and pants, his eye tired yet searching.

Searching for food, probably.

He wasn't doing too hot.

"I can ease the hunger, I can help you." I rolled my eyes at it, tired of the voice.

"Are we just gonna sit in here and starve to death?" I asked him. His eye snapped to me at the noise before he went back to pacing.

"Go eat whoever you want, I refuse to." He said. That almost made me laugh.

"Better to find remains like I have rather than go savage and kill someone," I told him. "You can only go so long before it'll take control."

"Then I guess I'll starve because I'm not leaving this room." He said firmly. "I refuse to harm anyone, I refuse to become like one of those monsters."

I sat up, cocking my head at him. "You think I'm a monster, don't you? You already think I'm one of them."

"...what makes you say that?"

"Because you're not denying it," I suggested. "Also because if you didn't you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. But since we're both one of them now it's ok."

"So we're both becoming monsters, what's your point?" He snapped. I shrugged.

"Just trying to figure out what I should do," I said.

"What do you mean? We can't go back because they'll kill us but if we go outside infectees might get to us first. What's there to do?"

"Pick a side." I said. He stopped pacing and faced me.

"What?"

"I don't fit in with the humans and I don't fit in with the infectee." My next question made me laugh. "Think I'm better off dead? Maybe this time my suicide attempt will work."

"Don't say things like that." He snapped.

"Why not? You're in the same boat as me."

"No, I'm not." He said. "Because I'm a survivor and I'm going to fight it, even if it kills me."

Kenny's words flashed into my mind. "I believe it's only the end if ya let it be. And it won't be mine. Like I said, I'm a survivor."

And for some reason I found that funny, hilarious even. Thomas looked at me like I was crazy as I doubled over laughing.

"You do know what Wanda and them planned on doing to me when we returned from this mission, right?" I asked him. "Didn't matter if I saved all your ass's multiple times, didn't matter if I was the only reason you were able to stay alive, didn't matter if I rescued them myself; all they saw was a monster and they planned to dispose of their weapon once they were done."

The downcast of his eye told me enough.

"I was the wolf in sheep's clothing who worked as a guard dog." More laughter made my stomach hurt. "I was on all three sides at once at one point, now I have no idea where I stand! On one hand, the infectee have taken everything away from me yet they're the only ones who might accept me. On the other, the humans have discarded me and threaten to kill me, even if I've done nothing but protect them."