Falling Down (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 2

"Over time when a person doesn't receive proper nutrition it effects the bodies bone mass and muscle density as well as ability to fight off infection. These factors were already playing against you at the time of the accident." Doc paused looking at Shane.

"The force of the impact and restraining seatbelt broke two of your ribs. One of which punctured your right lung. The deployment of the air bag cut your face." As Doc talked it all seemed so much to take in. "An infection began between the cut on your face and the burn on your shoulder which spread quickly. Already weakened your body went into septic shock."

The more Doc explained what had gone on and just how close I came to death the lower Shane hung his head. When he was finished talking Doc turned to Shane giving him a crisp nod as Shane did the same in return.

Unable to look me in the eyes Shane buried his head in my hands. "I'm sorry... God I'm so sorry.... I.... I"

Raising his head Shane shrugged his shoulders as he looked mournfully into my eyes. "I'm sorry I can't believe I let this happen to you."

"You could have left me," my voice squeaked out dry and rusty sounding. "I'm here cause you got me here."

In a moment of uncertain hesitation Shane's eyes searched mine before looked away. "I had no business taking you from the prison. I should have just left in my own."

It seemed to take so much effort, so much concentration just to be able to talk. "I may have hit my head but I didn't hit it that hard. I wanted to leave too. You didn't make me."

I knew Shane would continue to blame himself for what had happened no matter what I said. So I said the only thing I could, "Right here, right now, we're ok. I promise."

Slowly a half smile twitched at the corner of Shane's lips, "You remember that?"

"Of course I do and you were right. We got through the night." Squeezing Shane's hand we sat in silence taking in the quiet of the moment.

"So tell me more about my new home." I forced a smile.

I laid there trying to take in all Shane had to say. Apparently when the military safe zone fell in Atlanta not everyone died. A group of various ranking military men got out. After the bombings stopped and the dust had settled they began to travel back into Atlanta on savaging missions. Collecting both supplies and other survivors, two of which happens to be Lori and Shane.

As the camp grew in numbers and the walkers began to drift outwards from the city it became apparent they needed a more permanent solution than just tents. In military survival fashion a plan was hatched to specific detail. Each member being assigned a specific role.

First they began by searching for a suitable location that met the criteria. It had to be somewhere high so the group had the advantage point of sight. It had to be able to be barricaded for protection. Far enough from the city and other small towns yet close enough for supplies. Equally important it had to be somewhere not travelled and hidden. They couldn't afford for it to be obvious. After all you didn't want another group just strolling up and taking what was yours. It had to be difficult to get to but not so difficult you couldn't leave yourself. It took some time but after several scouting missions they by chance while lost stumbled across the current location.

The issue of shelter was just as complex and even more time consuming. Tents worked but by no means we're a solution. People needed a place to call home not just flaps of material. A place not just where one could have privacy but it had to be able to withstand the elements. Do to limited options and the remote location they ultimately decided on fifth wheels as the most viable solution. In time they could build but for now it would do.

Gradually one by one each family got their own homes. They built lookouts, water canals, fortified walls and bobbie trapped the surrounding area. While scavenging they found gas, medical supplies, food, building materials and generators. In time they had built one large building which contained a common gathering area, offices, and a medical centre. It was a thriving community of 36 survivors.

It was in the medical centre where I laid for the first week trying to heal. Being bed ridden did little but help feed my impatience and growing disillusion. It gave my mind freedom to roam over the choices I had made. I missed the prison and all the people it kept safe within its walls. I missed Maggie, Carol and Sasha's friendship that was just like a sister bond. The way that Glenn and Daryl could make an entire room laugh. I even missed Michone's intensity. I had a place... a job....my life had meaning. Most of all I missed Rick.

At least while I lived within the prison walls I saw him. Even if he had chosen Lori over me I knew he was safe. Now I would forever be left to wonder if he walked the earth anymore. Leaving him like that was not only saying goodbye it was some how more final as if he had died. For I would never feel his touch no matter how brief. Never having the opportunity to look into those incredible blue eyes or feel his lips upon mine. The timber drawl of his voice or the sexy swagger of his walk little more than a quiet memory. That's all I was left with now. Quiet memories that played on an endless track that no one but me could understand.

Physically I made huge improvement in my recovery despite the aching hole in my heart. Within the week I was free from the medical centre and able to go to my new home. Funny word....home. For this felt the furthest I had ever been from a place my heart knew as home.

Shane did his best in introducing me to people and they in their turn were polite. It took me meeting only a few people to know that they all saw me as the prison camp saw Lori. The other woman. I guess I did show up it toe with Shane. Yet it almost made me wonder how Shane chose to explain Lori's absence. Did he tell the truth and say she went back to her husband or something a slightly different. A little less damaging to his ego.

Keeping me by his side Shane showed me the ins and outs of the camp. The little tricks that only an insider would know. Before long I was assigned to the medical lab due to everything Hershel had taught me. It made sense, everyone had to have a job, to pull their own weight, but it was the last place I wanted to be.

Despite the fact it reminded me of Hershel and the prison I sucked it up and continued my training. There was five of us that now including myself that comprised the main medical team. Kyle or Doc as everyone referred to him was some hot shot surgeon in Atlanta. Tall, thin and pale with tiered eyes he over saw everything. The rest of the staff had been at one point a nurse firefighter and coroner. All with medical training but what I brought to the table was unique. Not only had Hershel taught me surgical methods but he had drilled into my head to use the vegetation around us. To not be dependent on traditional medication and supplies. In a time now where hospitals and clinics had been scavenged dry my knowledge was pure asset and as good as gold.

I fell into a simple routine. A plain boring routine. I got up at the crack of dawn, ate and went about my business of the day. Moving numbly doing what had to be done for no other reason than it had to be done. It was part of my job and it was my responsibility so I did it. That simple.

I began to wonder if the constant strain of just trying to survive had all but swallowed up my ability to find joy in my life. Maybe it was the never ending search for joy and the loss of it. None the less my emotions had all but disappeared and I had turned cold.

I had survived but I no longer lived.