Living with Scps (LWS)

I REALLY need to make these funnier

please be quiet you're scaring the rock

I'M SCARING THE W H A T

THE RO-

I H E A R D Y O U T H E F I R S T T I M E

Y/N glared at the rock, then immediately did an extremely girly shriek and jumped so high that Tigger the Tiger would've been jealous.
"HOW IS THE ROCK MOV-"

"it's summoning the mountains, Y/N, shh"

"what the actual living room happened in these last few years that allows you to say that"

"shut."

Y/N did not want to shut. They opened their mouth to protest, but all of a sudden a loud rumbling noise sounded from the earth and the land beneath them shot up in the air, forming the huge mountain chain that Y/N was so used to. Sure, it could've been a magical experience, rising in the air and watching as entire mountains form beneath your feet, but it tends to be ruined by the shrill screaming of a nonbinary dinosaur spotting a red car in the distance.

"What tHe-" 053 squinted at the red shape heading towards the two. "What the H- N-"

suddenly, the car pulled up in front of them, and lo and behold, the other scps were in there.
On the car's hood were spray-painted words saying things like
"We is the cure B)"
"haha i can swear here. sausage"
"we TOUGH"
"insert tough guy stuff"

The scps exited the car. In the backseat was a shocking sight ; it was Dr. Bright, quite visibly dead.
all the scps had an insane amount of Amogus Drip.
Something was clearly wrong.

"H-hey dude," 173 had 3 golden sunglasses, which were quite useless considering the fact that the eye hole spots were filled with gold. "We killed Bright."

053 gasped. "how. the actual CHEESESTICKS DID YOU KILL AN IMMORTAL MAN"

"We do not have the slightest idea." 049 shrugged. "It just happened. I have been studying him for seconds now, maybe even a few minutes! Alas, the autopsy is a fail."

"What autopsy?" 106's sunglasses kept melting, so he kept on grabbing cheap plastic gas-station quality ones from 682's bag. "Your little aUtOpSy was slapping him, then you said he was dead."

"Well. I was correct, wasn't I?" 049 lifted his sunglasses, revealing another pair underneath. He turned to the car and looked at the rotting corpse stashed in the backseat. "He looks, feels and smells very dead."

"Well- Slapping someone doesn't necessarily mean they're dead, right??" 096 chimed in. His face was covered by a giant hoodie and a gold chain drooped from his neck.

"Yes it does! Well- at least my slaps do. Look, watch this." 049 turned to 682 and slapped them. 682 instantly perished.

"H O W" 053 gaped at the dead reptile. She walked over and looked at the SCP. She glanced at Bright's body and said "These events?? Canonically, this cannot happen. You guys are breaking the law."

"Ppfffft yeah well technically possessing people is illegal but hey at least i'm still alive" 035 grinned. 049 smiled and paat him on the back.
"Yes, yes you are."
035 and 049 gazed at each other in a shipping way.

682's eyes fluttered open. "you really think i wont stop this crap real quick" he roared, lunged for the couple, swallowed them and died again.

Y/N wiped away a tear.
"F-Finally... I'm with you all again!"

"well- not all of us. four people are dead already." 079 beeped from 999's blobby hands.

Y/N puffed up their chest and looked at the scps. "Okay guys... We're going to-"

"EXCUUUUUUUSE ME," 173 barked from behind, "Who says we have to do what you say?"

"What? i never said that-"

"Oh, really? carry on then."

"........... can you guys help me and 053 look for a time machine?"