In love with Newt

Chapter 17

I was laying in bed that night, thinking about what happened, what I witnessed, what Newt DIDN'T do, he walked away. Then again, I don't know what they said. I wanted to ask him what happened, but under the rules of Sir Gally, that won't happen. The same thought flew throw my head, I pushed it away, but it came back. I couldn't, I wouldn't. I could never break up with Newt, but if I couldn't talk to him whats the point, a stabbing pain hit my heart, it hurt but it needed to be done. My heart ached all night but I finally shut my eyes and slept. 

The next morning, I was slow. I felt like a weight weighed me down, I was held back. I was stopping myself from doing this but I didn't want to be holding Newt back. I walked to the hall. Newt was sitting with Shae, I had to think, 'I'm holding him back' I walked toward him, 'I'm holding him back' I kept thinking. When I reached him, I placed my hand on his shoulder. He turned around to look at me, he smiled. "Goodmorning beautiful." He whispered. He didn't want Gally to hear, "Come outisde please." I said, sounding worried. He looked around, "What about Gally?" he asked still lookin for him. I didn't loose eye contact with him, "Please?" he stood up, he knew I was worried. He led me outside  by the grip of my hand. When we reached the door, he swung it open, and quickly led me outisde, worried about Gally. He turned around and looked in my eyes. I looked at the ground. He grabbed my hand, I looked at  him, pain and worry in my eyes, he shook his head, a tear formed in his eye. "No Josie!" His eyes filled with tears, he fought to keep them in. He shook his head again, "Newt, I'm holding you back." tears dripped down my face, I felt like throwing up. "You're not, I love you, your my everything." I shook my head and looked down. " I love you to Newt but I can't feel like this anymore, I can't help but feel like Shae can treat you better. She loves you to." Newts tears slid down his cheek. He's ears turned red (Sorry, I always immagined Thomas's ears would go red when he cried or blushed.) " Please Newt, I don't want anymore drama for you, just let me be." He shook his head, "No, you make me happy. Your my reason for waking up every morning. Please?!" he raised his voice. I didn't talk anymore. I kissed him one last time. "I love you, but this is goodbye." Newt stood motionless. He reached for my hand but I turned around and headed back to the hall. Shae was standing at the door. She smirked. I wasen't affraid to hurt her now. When I reached the door she grabbed my arm, "about time bitch." I shook my head, "Take care of him." She smiled, "better then you? Got it?" I ripped my arm out of her grip and walked into the hall. "I love you Newt." I whispered to myself