Batman Meets Steven (Batman/Steven Universe Crossover)

2nd Night

Robots appeared. The two got ready for a fight.

[Speaker] I'm growing tired of my dependence upon the least useless dregs I can scrape from Gotham's utterly uninspired underbelly. Why rely on others for help when you can design, program, engineer, and manufacture it yourself?

They were defending themselves from the robots. This was a moment where Batman can use lethal moves since they're fighting machines and not people. Batman held back just a little bit, not wanting to waste all of his energy on the robots.

[Speaker] What a pair you make. Together, you're just competent enough to survive. Enjoy it while it lasts, Dark Knight. I have more in store for you than hitting things.

They just finished turning the robots into scrap metal.

[Speaker] No doubt you enjoyed that, detective, it's the most fun you'll have all night. You see, Dark Knight, this feisty felonious feline has been fitted with a shiny new collar. With each challenge you complete, you'll get one little key. Collect every key and kitty goes free. Remove it too soon and the kitty goes BOOM (laughs). Well, don't just stand there, Dark Knight. Take that rocket-fueled roadster of yours and make your way to the Cauldron Trainyard. My first test is waiting.

Then, he finally stopped talking, for now.

(Batman) I'll be back soon.

(Catwoman) You'll be back right away. Guys like Eddie let me be until I started playing nice with the Bat.

(Batman) It's unlike you to get caught. Was it an ambush? Blackmail? A trap?

(Catwoman) He invited me.

(Batman) What?

Even Batman was surprised that something so simple could lead to whatever this is.

(Catwoman) He said he had a job.

(Batman) A job?

(Catwoman) Of the cat burgling variety. I'm pretty good at it, remember? Not all of us scamper around on rooftops at night because we want to help people, you big brooding boy scout. Now where's my key?

He leaves to get the key.

(Catwoman) Don't keep me waiting!

Cauldron Trainyard:

Batman used the Batmobile to drive into an elevator that could fit it, surprisingly. On the way down, a speaker spoke to him.

[Speaker] As expected, detective. You arrived. I thought Catwoman's little predicament might encourage your participation. I realized, you see, that the kind of image-obsessed narcissist who places bat-symbols on his hubcaps would never willingly submit himself to the kind of humiliation I have in store. Yet, here you are, detective! The humiliation is waiting below.

The elevator stops and he drives out of it to meet a barrier in his way.

[Speaker] Well then, detective, it begins. You are staring, with stupefied incomprehension, at a mechanism I have calibrated to respond to an extremely precise radar pulse. In a moment I will give you the decrypted code, Dark Knight, but first, I think we should run through the ground rules for tonight's festivities. Rule the first: You will address me at all times as Riddler, the Riddler, or Mr. Nigma, sir. Otherwise, detective, I expect your patented brand of churlish silence. Rule the second: All gauntlets, cowl-integrated microphones and other communications devices, bat-themed or otherwise, are to be switched off prior to the start of the test. Should you be caught using any of these you will be expelled from the course. Rule the third: The use of purpose-built riddle solving equipment is STRICTLY prohibited. I am familiar with the contents of your utility belt, detective, and I will be evaluating any sudden additions over the course of this evening most suspiciously. Rule the fourth: In the event of fire or flood I will be on hand to guide you to the nearest emergency exit, assuming that is, you are not too proud to follow my advice. In that eventuality, we will consider your stubbornly prideful suicide an admission of defeat. Rule the fifth: Do NOT ask for clues. Rule the sixth: Should I, in my exasperation, CHOOSE to provide you with a clue, hint, obliquely meaningful insult or any other form of assistance, you will not ask for further elucidation but instead thank me for my kind generosity, while adhering to the forms of address outlined in the very first rule. Rule the seventh: Bathroom breaks will be administered on a discretionary basis. Should we find ourselves at a pivotal moment in your arduous journey to self-realization and defeat, I expect you to hold it in. Rule the eighth: Any accidents resulting from my strict enforcement of the seventh rule are to be considered your fault entirely. Rule the ninth: You are required to recite back to me this full list of rules at any moment I request, again, keeping in mind the naming conventions I outlined in the very first rule. Rule the tenth: I, the Riddler/Riddler/Mr. Nigma, sir, reserve the right to add or announce any further rules if and when they become necessary. Yes, I know what you're thinking, detective. Mr. Nigma, sir knows how to meticulously structure a good time! In any case, detective, I'm getting rather tired at the way your stupidity forces me to outline the basics like this. So, here's that code you've been waiting for. Let's see how long it takes for you to figure out how to use it.