I never understood myself,
Until I took myself apart.
Until I tore at my soul,
And I slashed at my heart.
I cut at my thoughts,
And opened my mind,
And analysed everything,
That I could find.
I didn't stop until,
I was completely broken,
By still my question had still,
Been left unspoken.
What was I? I worried,
Would I ever know?
Am I simply here to live,
And then just go?
I decided I would just,
Live life as it came,
But I realised I'd already,
Ended the game.
By now I was shattered,
Beyond recognition,
With no way to fix me,
I couldn't make it unwritten.
I had thought, like a suit,
If I tore and cut,
I would be able to fix it,
Sow all the tears shut.
That any issues,
Would now be improved,
And any bad traits,
Had now been removed.
How wrong I was,
To think I would change,
To think this would help me,
In hindsight, is strange.
I had lived in lust,
For knowledge of secrets,
But have only discovered,
The secret holder should keep it.
All this has caused me,
Is unbearable pain,
And now there's no way to put me,
Back together again.
YOU ARE READING
The Catalyst To My Goodbye
RandomPoetry, probably some literature, and a whole lot of mess. Warning: themes of depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, sexual/domestic abuse, death, anxiety and loneliness.
